(no subject)
I grew up hearing the cliches. You can be whatever you want to be. You can do whatever you wanna do, you just have to be willing to pay the price. If you were dying / you had 1 year left on the planet / the world was about to explode, what is the 1 thing you'll wish you had done; why haven't you done it? Just do it.
Every one of them filled with optimism, opportunity. All meant to encourage people to aspire to greatness, and be bold. To love. To live.
Today at the supermarket (which was super crowded) I saw an amazingly beautiful woman. Short, shortish dark hair, in a pony tail, w/ bangs to the sides, short skirt, tights, clear skin. I stood in line behind her and didn't say a word to her. The only thing worse than not talking to her is how much I would've regretted saying something to her. This I know from experience.
Every day I'm faced with that question, after work, it's even worse on days off. Time enough to do anything I want to do, write a book, read a book, go for a walk, drive go karts, study, learn, grow, evolve, find love, look for love, go to the movies, stay in for a movie, play video games, play board games, ride a bike, garden, write letters, make phone calls, so so so many possibilities. And I do nothing, I squander it, every day. I waste my opportunity every day. And I feel horrible. I wonder though, if I wouldn't feel worse actually doing something. And if the options are feel horrible, or feel worse than horrible, or kill yourself... feel nothing. Not trendy, like a nihilist, Lebowski, but the silence of a grave man, Mercutio.
I watched New Moon, in theatres, the whole damn movie was about suicide. With allusions to R&J.
I'm lonely, and I don't like being alone. But I know that the world is better off when it doesn't have to put up w/ me. And by world I mean the people in it, not the planet that's being sodomized for oil so that people can get from point A to point B a few hours, days, weeks more quickly.
If I could do anything, why sit around being unhappy. If it's a choice, why not choose happiness. Because I don't deserve to. We ask who am I to be Akeelah, proud, smart, beautiful, who am I to shine? Who are you not to? Scum. Mos Eisley. Type "you'll never find a more" into google and it'll give you a Star Wars quotation. A quotation (noun), being that which we quote (verb).
If I owned a gun this voice, would've been silenced by now.
Every one of them filled with optimism, opportunity. All meant to encourage people to aspire to greatness, and be bold. To love. To live.
Today at the supermarket (which was super crowded) I saw an amazingly beautiful woman. Short, shortish dark hair, in a pony tail, w/ bangs to the sides, short skirt, tights, clear skin. I stood in line behind her and didn't say a word to her. The only thing worse than not talking to her is how much I would've regretted saying something to her. This I know from experience.
Every day I'm faced with that question, after work, it's even worse on days off. Time enough to do anything I want to do, write a book, read a book, go for a walk, drive go karts, study, learn, grow, evolve, find love, look for love, go to the movies, stay in for a movie, play video games, play board games, ride a bike, garden, write letters, make phone calls, so so so many possibilities. And I do nothing, I squander it, every day. I waste my opportunity every day. And I feel horrible. I wonder though, if I wouldn't feel worse actually doing something. And if the options are feel horrible, or feel worse than horrible, or kill yourself... feel nothing. Not trendy, like a nihilist, Lebowski, but the silence of a grave man, Mercutio.
I watched New Moon, in theatres, the whole damn movie was about suicide. With allusions to R&J.
I'm lonely, and I don't like being alone. But I know that the world is better off when it doesn't have to put up w/ me. And by world I mean the people in it, not the planet that's being sodomized for oil so that people can get from point A to point B a few hours, days, weeks more quickly.
If I could do anything, why sit around being unhappy. If it's a choice, why not choose happiness. Because I don't deserve to. We ask who am I to be Akeelah, proud, smart, beautiful, who am I to shine? Who are you not to? Scum. Mos Eisley. Type "you'll never find a more" into google and it'll give you a Star Wars quotation. A quotation (noun), being that which we quote (verb).
If I owned a gun this voice, would've been silenced by now.