(no subject)
I kinda really dislike facebook. I've been toying with the notion of deleting it for a long while. At first I thought I might just clear out all the "friends" that I don't really see myself ever talking to again. But then my facebook would be like my myspace, down to something ridiculous like 8 people. I've been holding onto it because it's a really straight forward method for the teens I volunteer with to get ahold of me without intruding. Every time I get on it though I also look her up, and I hate finding out about her life that way. I wish we were talking, but we're not. I haven't written to her yet, my current plan is to just text her on my 2nd favorite holiday. Maybe she'll respond, I know I won't be seeing her then because we discussed in december that she'd be away.
I read the introductions (yeah, there were two) to Emotional Intelligence. I'm semi-optimistic about it. Which is to say I'm hopeful that reading it will help me in some way. Help me learn to like myself, so I can accept that others like me, or at least help me build self esteem and confidence so I don't need other people to like me. While the latter option doesn't sound like it'll do much for my loneliness, it might be healthier. I've decided to do something I don't think I've ever done before; actively read. Which is to say take notes, try to understand instead of just reading, learn, pretty much all the things they kept telling us to do in school. I've started by creating a reading log, which I've only done once before in my life, summer after junior year when I read Babbitt. Man that book sucked. Sucked so bad I felt the moral and social obligation to steal it from the library so no one else had to suffer through it.
I'm kinda mad at myself a little right now. I woke up at my normal time this morning even though I don't have to go to work until 1000. That is to say 10am, so now I have three hours to fill. In the morning which is always the hardest time, when I feel most alone and can't really commit to anything because I know I have to be somewhere at a certain time; in this case, work at 10. Even though it's supposed to be my day off. Although I should continue my log, I'll probably just waste time on WoW since I renewed my account and can't play this evening because of YaG (my volunteering) and my reading. Combined with my early bed time that'll account for all my time. On Tuesday I'll be watching Biggest Loser and doing my reading. Wednesday is the finale of Project Runway: a three way faceoff between Romi, Christian and Jillian, and my reading. Yeah, I'm planning on reading at least some of it every day until I make it through. Like homework with a really late due date, in this case the 18th.
I read the introductions (yeah, there were two) to Emotional Intelligence. I'm semi-optimistic about it. Which is to say I'm hopeful that reading it will help me in some way. Help me learn to like myself, so I can accept that others like me, or at least help me build self esteem and confidence so I don't need other people to like me. While the latter option doesn't sound like it'll do much for my loneliness, it might be healthier. I've decided to do something I don't think I've ever done before; actively read. Which is to say take notes, try to understand instead of just reading, learn, pretty much all the things they kept telling us to do in school. I've started by creating a reading log, which I've only done once before in my life, summer after junior year when I read Babbitt. Man that book sucked. Sucked so bad I felt the moral and social obligation to steal it from the library so no one else had to suffer through it.
I'm kinda mad at myself a little right now. I woke up at my normal time this morning even though I don't have to go to work until 1000. That is to say 10am, so now I have three hours to fill. In the morning which is always the hardest time, when I feel most alone and can't really commit to anything because I know I have to be somewhere at a certain time; in this case, work at 10. Even though it's supposed to be my day off. Although I should continue my log, I'll probably just waste time on WoW since I renewed my account and can't play this evening because of YaG (my volunteering) and my reading. Combined with my early bed time that'll account for all my time. On Tuesday I'll be watching Biggest Loser and doing my reading. Wednesday is the finale of Project Runway: a three way faceoff between Romi, Christian and Jillian, and my reading. Yeah, I'm planning on reading at least some of it every day until I make it through. Like homework with a really late due date, in this case the 18th.