1st Rough Draft

Jan 01, 2008 21:34

If anyone of the writing persuasion takes a gander here, I would appreciate feedback. This is the preface for a Valentine Portfolio to be gifted to a friend of mine. I'm not looking for "that's good" but rather, if it's lacking somewhere, if the diction is too rough, if it just feels stitched together, please point it out. It feels lumpy to me and I'll be looking at it some more over the coming weeks. Also I'm going to be working on a new piece. I want it to be a love story (this is for Valentine's day) but if it is, then it can't be about my favorite subject; me. I don't know if it will be a love story, but it will be something created specifically for this packet. If interested in helping me out with that please let me know and I'll e-mail it or something.

I shall insist upon dating this for it is the first time I’ve sat to write something new, to create, for quite some time. Doubtless it shall be revised and reworked at least a couple of times before you ever get the chance to read it, but regardless. Today, or rather I should say tonight for it is nearly bed time, is January First. New Year’s Day, 2008. And this, hun, this is your Valentine. I know it’s big, and a little unwieldy for the title, but this is Plan B; and much more apt for the occasion this year. What I have done, or at the very least attempted to do; who knows how well I’ll succeed , is given you a collection of my writings. Four of them were written back when I was still in the habit of writing. I’ve gone through and revised them to some extent, but they are from my years at LFC and as such could come off as dated. On a side note you’re referred to in at least two of them. You have been a very important figure in my life, and it’s only natural that would show in my biggest creative outlet. I hope that’s ok. Two of the pieces I read, to much laughter and applause, at Open Mic nights in the coffeehouse. One of them got me invited to write for the Stentor. At least one of these pieces you have, at some point, expressed an interest in reading. At the time of this writing I have included two epitaphs with my own work. The first, taken from Oscar Wilde, is a mildly pretentious explanation of why I have delayed so long in showing these to anyone outside of class. The second, from Shawshank Redemption, is a metaphor that I’ve believed in and applied to myself for a long time. My life is the cage and the people who consistently astonish me, girls, friends, they are the birds. I hope that you enjoy it, maybe you’ll laugh, maybe you’ll smile. I care about you very much and I wish you the very happiest of Valentine’s Days.
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