(no subject)
Months and months after the last time I was able to convince her to hang out with me I finally was fortunate to get Karin to come eat dinner with me. Then I ended up squandering most of our time together by being a pathetic pansy and really running the over-sensitive, low self-esteem, mildly paranoid routine that I have a hard time breaking out of around girls that I really like and admire. So yeah, kinda frittered away the evening, and now I'm tired, and feel bad about it, and have to figure out a way to sell myself to Target, not like sell out, but like, make myself look awesome, to see if I can't figure out a way to get a bigger and better deal than I'd get by quitting from the store while it's in a crisis period.
On top of all that, I have to figure out a way to recover some sort of chipper self-confidence by no later than 1 pm tomorrow when the Stadium mini-reunion is. Man, things would've been so much better if I didn't like Karin so much and wasn't quite so concerned with impressing her / making sure she enjoyed her time with me so she'd consent to hang out again. Or if we had talked less about camp, which is funny, because it's one of the few things we've ever had in common, although I fear that we have terribly different perspectives on the place and that I exposed that to her for the first time tonight.
Also, I'm feeling like I've been making Kim too much of a priority in my life. Of course, I've felt that way before and she's always managed to prove that she deserves as much devotion as I've given her, but still. It's probably just the self-doubt (loathing?) and paranoia talking, but I kinda feel like she doesn't much miss me. And Pete knows that I certainly wouldn't blame her for not wanting to hear from me again. If our situations were reversed I'd certainly want the annoying pansy to leave me alone.
Final note, I'm trying to stop saying euphemisms for God, and replace them with Pete instead. I don't know who Pete is, but "For Pete's sake" is a lovely old person phrase, and I don't really get it, which means it, and Pete, must be super-important. Like, I can understand why we ought to "win one for the Gipper," but I have no idea why we ought to do anything "for Pete's sake." Who is this mysterious Pete? Until I learn the answer to that, I'm determined to use his name in vain as much as possible. Or, well, not in vain, but just as much as possible.
On top of all that, I have to figure out a way to recover some sort of chipper self-confidence by no later than 1 pm tomorrow when the Stadium mini-reunion is. Man, things would've been so much better if I didn't like Karin so much and wasn't quite so concerned with impressing her / making sure she enjoyed her time with me so she'd consent to hang out again. Or if we had talked less about camp, which is funny, because it's one of the few things we've ever had in common, although I fear that we have terribly different perspectives on the place and that I exposed that to her for the first time tonight.
Also, I'm feeling like I've been making Kim too much of a priority in my life. Of course, I've felt that way before and she's always managed to prove that she deserves as much devotion as I've given her, but still. It's probably just the self-doubt (loathing?) and paranoia talking, but I kinda feel like she doesn't much miss me. And Pete knows that I certainly wouldn't blame her for not wanting to hear from me again. If our situations were reversed I'd certainly want the annoying pansy to leave me alone.
Final note, I'm trying to stop saying euphemisms for God, and replace them with Pete instead. I don't know who Pete is, but "For Pete's sake" is a lovely old person phrase, and I don't really get it, which means it, and Pete, must be super-important. Like, I can understand why we ought to "win one for the Gipper," but I have no idea why we ought to do anything "for Pete's sake." Who is this mysterious Pete? Until I learn the answer to that, I'm determined to use his name in vain as much as possible. Or, well, not in vain, but just as much as possible.