Such a long, long time...
WOW! It sure has been a long time since I updated this bitch. I've been working at Walgreens and let me tell you something, PEOPLE NEED TO LEARN TO SPEAK MY FUCKING LANGUAGE!!!!
I am sick and fucking tired of these spanish speaking fuckbags coming into my work and bothering me.
Example #1:
ME: Hi, do you want One-Hour or Next Day?
THEM: Yes.
ME: No, do you want your pictures developed in one hour or tomorrow?
THEM: *Nods*
ME: Una hora or manyana?
THEM: Oh, ok (insert answer here)
ME: What is your phone number?
THEM: Umm? What?
ME: *Holding hand next to face as if I were on the phone* Telephone?
THEM: Ehh, (insert random Mexican't numbers here)
ME: *Hand them a pen and they write it down*
Example #2:
ME: What is your phone number?
Mexican't #1: Ehh....
Mexican't #2: (mumbles some numbers)
#1: No, (mumbles some other numbers)
#2: No, no, no (more mumbling)
#1: Ets seben (long pause as he thinks about how to form the words) tree (same pause) tree (you get the picture) chwelve seben cero.
ME: Ok *reaches under the counter and feels the cold metal and cool wood of the 1911 .45 revolver* Do you want singles or doubles?
#1 and #2: *exchange bewildered looks*
ME: *Pulling the gun from under the counter and pointing it at a small child trying to steal some candy and without looking fire hitting the kid dead center between the eyes, dropping him like a sack of potatoes while saying* One? *and then shifting the direction of the barrel fire one shot into a fat girl with boils on her face. As her face goes slack and her cottage cheese legs collapse from under her I fire another shot into the knee of some random nigger and finish my sentence* or two?
Example #3
ME: Here are your photos. Anything else?
Moron: Yes.
ME: *I ring up the purchase and wait for another item to make it's way onto the counter so I can scan that as well but it doesn't happen. As I take the money for the SINGLE ITEM I nod to another employee wielding an axe. As the idiot who doesn't speak my language turns the axe is imbedded into his skull and I proceed to steal all of his money and piss on his twitching corpse*
Wow! It sure is fun working at the wonderful world of Walgreens.
In other news, 2 girls who are best friends work there and Jeff and I have made them our girlfriends. Amanda is mine and Lindsey is Jeff's. Jeff is also about to become employeed at Walgreens.
The band is taking a turn for the worse and the outcome of anything important will be known to all as soon as there is an outcome to discuss.
Come visit me at work sometime and make sure to speak my language or else your blood might just mingle with the blood of the countless number of Mexican'ts that I have slaughtered and mounted their heads on pikes above the parking lot as a warning to those who might dare incur my rath.
Love,
Mike
P.S. Did you know that if Mexican'ts and other foreigners alike would just learn my language the world would be grossly overpopulated. I am good for the environment and am Atkin's Approved!
I am sick and fucking tired of these spanish speaking fuckbags coming into my work and bothering me.
Example #1:
ME: Hi, do you want One-Hour or Next Day?
THEM: Yes.
ME: No, do you want your pictures developed in one hour or tomorrow?
THEM: *Nods*
ME: Una hora or manyana?
THEM: Oh, ok (insert answer here)
ME: What is your phone number?
THEM: Umm? What?
ME: *Holding hand next to face as if I were on the phone* Telephone?
THEM: Ehh, (insert random Mexican't numbers here)
ME: *Hand them a pen and they write it down*
Example #2:
ME: What is your phone number?
Mexican't #1: Ehh....
Mexican't #2: (mumbles some numbers)
#1: No, (mumbles some other numbers)
#2: No, no, no (more mumbling)
#1: Ets seben (long pause as he thinks about how to form the words) tree (same pause) tree (you get the picture) chwelve seben cero.
ME: Ok *reaches under the counter and feels the cold metal and cool wood of the 1911 .45 revolver* Do you want singles or doubles?
#1 and #2: *exchange bewildered looks*
ME: *Pulling the gun from under the counter and pointing it at a small child trying to steal some candy and without looking fire hitting the kid dead center between the eyes, dropping him like a sack of potatoes while saying* One? *and then shifting the direction of the barrel fire one shot into a fat girl with boils on her face. As her face goes slack and her cottage cheese legs collapse from under her I fire another shot into the knee of some random nigger and finish my sentence* or two?
Example #3
ME: Here are your photos. Anything else?
Moron: Yes.
ME: *I ring up the purchase and wait for another item to make it's way onto the counter so I can scan that as well but it doesn't happen. As I take the money for the SINGLE ITEM I nod to another employee wielding an axe. As the idiot who doesn't speak my language turns the axe is imbedded into his skull and I proceed to steal all of his money and piss on his twitching corpse*
Wow! It sure is fun working at the wonderful world of Walgreens.
In other news, 2 girls who are best friends work there and Jeff and I have made them our girlfriends. Amanda is mine and Lindsey is Jeff's. Jeff is also about to become employeed at Walgreens.
The band is taking a turn for the worse and the outcome of anything important will be known to all as soon as there is an outcome to discuss.
Come visit me at work sometime and make sure to speak my language or else your blood might just mingle with the blood of the countless number of Mexican'ts that I have slaughtered and mounted their heads on pikes above the parking lot as a warning to those who might dare incur my rath.
Love,
Mike
P.S. Did you know that if Mexican'ts and other foreigners alike would just learn my language the world would be grossly overpopulated. I am good for the environment and am Atkin's Approved!