Dear Ian - year 2
Dear Ian -
Today marks 2 years since you left us.
Facing today was probably harder than facing the 18th during the first year after your death. I made sure to take the day off of work and surround myself with people. This year I opted for still going to work - I probably should have repeated what I did last year. Hindsight.
Your mom and I chat at least a couple of times a month. She and John moved back to Madison, not too far from where your sister and family are. The kids are SO BIG! I can't believe how big Maxine is. She looks just like Sarah but with red hair. Your mom comments about how much Julian looks like you did as a baby.
Their new house is nice. Its big with a nice view. They are talking about remodeling.
My new job is going well. It is still weird to be a boss. All of my performance reviews are good. In May I will be there for a year already.
I didn't go to Beer & Cheese Fest again this year. Maybe I will have the determination to go next year.
Also...I met someone. Part of me feels really guilty about giving my heart to someone else, especially knowing how much of it really still belongs to you. But I know that I can't "chase a ghost" as Vinnie told me. Yes, Vinnie was giving me advice. What about it? He's got some good nuggets from time to time.
Speaking of the guys, I went to Las Vegas with Shooter, Vinnie, Matt B. and Compton. Vinnie took pictures of me while I slept on the plane. How nice of him. All in all, I had a lot of fun with all of those guys and I wish you would have been able to be there too. It is still taking me some getting used to, calling them *my* friends instead of "Ian's friends." I suspect it will be that way for quite some time. But you will be happy to know, that I remain folded into the delicate construct of that circle of friends. <3
We have been trying to get together more often. But sometimes life gets in the way. At least we are all making an effort.
The Shamrock shake is back at McDonald's right now. Every time I see the ad, I think about how I'd love to get you one. BUT! "NO cherry and fuck the whipped cream!" Perhaps a bunch of us should get together had have one in your honor.
Needless to say, I still miss you like crazy. I cry less often, but sometimes I still do cry. Especially on days or events like this. I wish you were still here. I wish I could hug you and kiss you again. I wish I could see you cuddling Loki until she hissed at you, then you laughing at her and telling her "You're so BAD at that!"
I love you.
I miss you.
I hope you're at peace.
Love,
Meredith
Today marks 2 years since you left us.
Facing today was probably harder than facing the 18th during the first year after your death. I made sure to take the day off of work and surround myself with people. This year I opted for still going to work - I probably should have repeated what I did last year. Hindsight.
Your mom and I chat at least a couple of times a month. She and John moved back to Madison, not too far from where your sister and family are. The kids are SO BIG! I can't believe how big Maxine is. She looks just like Sarah but with red hair. Your mom comments about how much Julian looks like you did as a baby.
Their new house is nice. Its big with a nice view. They are talking about remodeling.
My new job is going well. It is still weird to be a boss. All of my performance reviews are good. In May I will be there for a year already.
I didn't go to Beer & Cheese Fest again this year. Maybe I will have the determination to go next year.
Also...I met someone. Part of me feels really guilty about giving my heart to someone else, especially knowing how much of it really still belongs to you. But I know that I can't "chase a ghost" as Vinnie told me. Yes, Vinnie was giving me advice. What about it? He's got some good nuggets from time to time.
Speaking of the guys, I went to Las Vegas with Shooter, Vinnie, Matt B. and Compton. Vinnie took pictures of me while I slept on the plane. How nice of him. All in all, I had a lot of fun with all of those guys and I wish you would have been able to be there too. It is still taking me some getting used to, calling them *my* friends instead of "Ian's friends." I suspect it will be that way for quite some time. But you will be happy to know, that I remain folded into the delicate construct of that circle of friends. <3
We have been trying to get together more often. But sometimes life gets in the way. At least we are all making an effort.
The Shamrock shake is back at McDonald's right now. Every time I see the ad, I think about how I'd love to get you one. BUT! "NO cherry and fuck the whipped cream!" Perhaps a bunch of us should get together had have one in your honor.
Needless to say, I still miss you like crazy. I cry less often, but sometimes I still do cry. Especially on days or events like this. I wish you were still here. I wish I could hug you and kiss you again. I wish I could see you cuddling Loki until she hissed at you, then you laughing at her and telling her "You're so BAD at that!"
I love you.
I miss you.
I hope you're at peace.
Love,
Meredith