A night at the theatre!
In which clever_wanderer takes Jenny to see David Tennant's Hamlet:
Ten: He looks sort of familiar...
Jenny: I would say he looks rather cute but... I'm really not sure.
Ten: He is good looking, I'll give him that
Jenny: I think I prefer that man over there.
Ten: Which one?
Jenny: *points to some random guy that looks nothing like her dad*
Ten: Meh
Ten: Suppose so
Jenny: *giggles* I didn't know you fancied blokes, Dad!
Ten: What?
Jenny: You seem so upset just now!
Ten: I...I...Oh look! He's got a skull!
(ignoring the fact that he doesn't get a skull till the end of the play...)
Jenny: Why would anyone talk to a skull? It doesn't make sense.
Ten: He's discussing the futility of life
Jenny: But life isn't futile! It's brilliant!
Ten: Yes, well, he doesn't know that
Ten: When your uncle's just killed your father, married your mother, and you're suddenly shipped of to England and then met with the skull of your former childhood friend...you tend to not be in the best moods
*cue someone in front of them turning around and shushing him*
Jenny: *scowls at the grumpy woman, but lowers her voice* But you can still try to be happy!
Ten: But then it wouldn't be a tragedy
Ten: I'll take you to see Love's Labour's Lost tomorrow, much funnier
Jenny: That also sounds depressing. Shouldn't it be Love's Labour's Won if it's a comedy?
Ten: Love's Labours Won wasn't nearly as good
Jenny: *eyes Hamelt talking to the skull* Well, it has to be better than a madman talking to a skull
Ten: He's not mad!
Ten: He's just depressed
Jenny: Then he really ought to cheer up!
*lady in front turns to glare at them again*
Ten: *to lady* Oi, pay attention to the play, he's about jump into a grave!
Jenny: But why? That seems a little defeatest, don't you think?
Ten: What? Jumping into the grave?
Ten: He never makes it to the bottom, it's Ophelia's grave...
Jenny: And who's Ophelia again?
Ten: Hamlet's almost-but-not-quite-entirely girlfriend
Ten: It's complicated
Jenny: Then he should be happy. He gets to have sex!
Ten: *glancing frantically from side to side* Jenny!
Jenny: *looks at him in confusion* What?
Ten: *sighing* Never mind
Ten: It's not like that with them though, it's close but not...er, that close
Jenny: Like you and Donna close, then?
Ten: Yes
Ten: No
Ten: Maybe
Jenny: Together but not together. It doesn't sound complicated.
Ten: But it is
Jenny: The universe would be a whole less complicated if people just said what was on their mind instead of launching in to these silly monologues
Ten: But that's what makes the play so profound
Jenny: Because of silly monologues?
Ten: Yes
Ten: I mean no!
Ten: They're not silly, they're brilliant
Jenny: He's talking to a skull
Ten: It's symbolic
Jenny: It's a skull
Ten: It's a symbolic skull
Jenny: But it's still a skull!
Ten: A skull that once belonged to someone he once loved, or at least, mildly cared about
Ten: It's a tragic portrayal of the fleeting life it led
Jenny: *curious* Do you carry around skulls of those you once loved then, Dad?
Ten: No, I don't.
Jenny: Then why's he?
Ten: He's not me
Jenny: But he looks like you!
Jenny: Because that's it, isn't it? Why he's not attractive. He looks like you!
Ten: He does???
Ten: He does!
Jenny: *laughs far too loudly* He does!
Jenny: *gasps* And I thought that he was cute, too!
Ten: I did say he was good looking
Jenny: But you're not. Not really, anyway. You're my father. You can't be!
Jenny: And therefore he can't be, either.
Ten: To you, maybe
Ten: To anyone else, he could be very attractive
*is shushed once again by woman in seat in front of them*
Ten: Or...maybe not
Jenny: I don't think she finds you very attractive.
Ten: No, I don't think so
Jenny: Do you think she finds Hamlet attractive? She must, if she keeps shushing us.
Ten: Well, it's either him or the skull
Jenny: I still don't like that skull.
Jenny: Think it's a Slitheen in disguise?
Ten: No
Ten: A Slytheen can't hide in a single part of the body like that
Jenny: Well. It's definitely creepy!
Ten: It's supposed to be. It heightens the darkness of the play.
Jenny: We really should've just gone and saw a comedy.
Ten: This is supposed to be the greatest play in the entire English language, and you want to walk out and see a comedy?
Jenny: *looks down at playbook and picks something just to annoy her father* How about "Dirty Dancing"? That one sounds promising!
Ten: Dirty Dancing? The film with Patrick Swayze?
Jenny: *points* Look! It says here it's a West End musical!
Ten: They made a West End musical out of Dirty Dancing? Blimey, is there anything not based on something else out there?
Jenny: *shrugs* I don't know.
Ten: Look, now he's dropped the skull, is that better?
Jenny: He's still in the grave.
Ten: He's about to jump out
Ten: Then there's a sword fight, you'll like that bit
Jenny: Yeah! That'll be much more fun!
Ten: Of course, he gets killed
Jenny: Seeeee? We so should've gone with the comedy.
Ten: What? It's still a brilliant ending
Jenny: But he dies!
Ten: But it's a good death
Jenny: And I thought you were against killing and such!
Ten: I am! But not in plays, it's...it's different.
Jenny: How?
Ten: It just...is.
Ten: Theater can show you the brutal, tragic side of life without hurting anyone, I like that.
Ten: It's that brutality in the real world, outside the play, that I don't like
Ten: Stage violence is one thing, true violence is another.
Jenny: Do you have to make everything so complicated all the time?
Ten: That wasn't complicated at all, that was very straightforward
Jenny: No it wasn't! Despising actual violence but appreciating stage violence? You are such a contradiction.
Ten: I am not! The two are very different!
Jenny: They're chasing each other around on the stage with a sword! Promoting death! Tell me how that's different!
*lady in front of them turns around to glare*
Ten: *to lady* Private conversation, you're missing the action!
Lady: You ought to learn some manners, young man. No talking in the theatre!
Jenny: We're only discussing...
Ten: It's a thought provoking play, it's going to provoke thoughts, which are going to provoke discussion, have you got a problem with that, or would you like to continue to glare at us and miss key bits of historically brilliant dialogue?
*lady humphs and turns around, muttering something about kids these days*
Jenny: See? Grumpy plays attract grumpy people
Ten: She's grumpy at us, not the play.
Jenny: But she's still grumpy!
Ten: Which has nothing to do with Hamlet!
Jenny: Right.
Ten: Oh! This is it...he's about to be stabbed...
Jenny: He really doesn't look happy about it
Ten: Well, he's still got to kill his uncle
Jenny: After being stabbed?
Ten: Er...yes.
Ten: Shakespeare was always fond of very lengthy deaths
Ten: It takes most of his characters a fairly long time to actually die
Jenny: That's really inaccurate
Ten: It's dramatic and poetic
Jenny: And inaccurate
Ten: And poetic
Ten: Not everything needs to be accurate
Jenny: Death's aren't joking matters, though! They should be accurate. The dead deserve that much, don't they, Dad?
Ten: Hamlet's death is one of the most tragic and affecting deaths ever written, because it's so long, you appreciate it more
Ten: If he just died, it would be over, and you'd never think about it.
Ten: This way, you really see it.
Jenny: And he suffers horribly for it! I don't like seeing that sort of look on your face.
Ten: What sort of look?
Jenny: His! He's dying and he's trying to kill his uncle and he's anything but happy!
Ten: But look....he's about to kill his uncle
Ten: And once he does, he won't be quite so unhappy
Ten: He'll have fulfilled his ultimate goal
Ten: He'll be at peace
Jenny: And he'll be dead
Ten: And he'll be dead.
Ten: Therein lies the tragedy
Ten: Why not?
Jenny: Because it's so sad! After everything he's been through, he deserves to be happy!
Jenny: Look at him, Dad. He's as sad as you were when I... well. I think you know.
Ten: I know
Ten: But that was different
Jenny: But Hamlet's still suffering
Ten: But his last words are brilliant. He figures it out, and his death is what makes the play.
Jenny: Next time? We are so going to see a comedy.
Ten: He looks sort of familiar...
Jenny: I would say he looks rather cute but... I'm really not sure.
Ten: He is good looking, I'll give him that
Jenny: I think I prefer that man over there.
Ten: Which one?
Jenny: *points to some random guy that looks nothing like her dad*
Ten: Meh
Ten: Suppose so
Jenny: *giggles* I didn't know you fancied blokes, Dad!
Ten: What?
Jenny: You seem so upset just now!
Ten: I...I...Oh look! He's got a skull!
(ignoring the fact that he doesn't get a skull till the end of the play...)
Jenny: Why would anyone talk to a skull? It doesn't make sense.
Ten: He's discussing the futility of life
Jenny: But life isn't futile! It's brilliant!
Ten: Yes, well, he doesn't know that
Ten: When your uncle's just killed your father, married your mother, and you're suddenly shipped of to England and then met with the skull of your former childhood friend...you tend to not be in the best moods
*cue someone in front of them turning around and shushing him*
Jenny: *scowls at the grumpy woman, but lowers her voice* But you can still try to be happy!
Ten: But then it wouldn't be a tragedy
Ten: I'll take you to see Love's Labour's Lost tomorrow, much funnier
Jenny: That also sounds depressing. Shouldn't it be Love's Labour's Won if it's a comedy?
Ten: Love's Labours Won wasn't nearly as good
Jenny: *eyes Hamelt talking to the skull* Well, it has to be better than a madman talking to a skull
Ten: He's not mad!
Ten: He's just depressed
Jenny: Then he really ought to cheer up!
*lady in front turns to glare at them again*
Ten: *to lady* Oi, pay attention to the play, he's about jump into a grave!
Jenny: But why? That seems a little defeatest, don't you think?
Ten: What? Jumping into the grave?
Ten: He never makes it to the bottom, it's Ophelia's grave...
Jenny: And who's Ophelia again?
Ten: Hamlet's almost-but-not-quite-entirely girlfriend
Ten: It's complicated
Jenny: Then he should be happy. He gets to have sex!
Ten: *glancing frantically from side to side* Jenny!
Jenny: *looks at him in confusion* What?
Ten: *sighing* Never mind
Ten: It's not like that with them though, it's close but not...er, that close
Jenny: Like you and Donna close, then?
Ten: Yes
Ten: No
Ten: Maybe
Jenny: Together but not together. It doesn't sound complicated.
Ten: But it is
Jenny: The universe would be a whole less complicated if people just said what was on their mind instead of launching in to these silly monologues
Ten: But that's what makes the play so profound
Jenny: Because of silly monologues?
Ten: Yes
Ten: I mean no!
Ten: They're not silly, they're brilliant
Jenny: He's talking to a skull
Ten: It's symbolic
Jenny: It's a skull
Ten: It's a symbolic skull
Jenny: But it's still a skull!
Ten: A skull that once belonged to someone he once loved, or at least, mildly cared about
Ten: It's a tragic portrayal of the fleeting life it led
Jenny: *curious* Do you carry around skulls of those you once loved then, Dad?
Ten: No, I don't.
Jenny: Then why's he?
Ten: He's not me
Jenny: But he looks like you!
Jenny: Because that's it, isn't it? Why he's not attractive. He looks like you!
Ten: He does???
Ten: He does!
Jenny: *laughs far too loudly* He does!
Jenny: *gasps* And I thought that he was cute, too!
Ten: I did say he was good looking
Jenny: But you're not. Not really, anyway. You're my father. You can't be!
Jenny: And therefore he can't be, either.
Ten: To you, maybe
Ten: To anyone else, he could be very attractive
*is shushed once again by woman in seat in front of them*
Ten: Or...maybe not
Jenny: I don't think she finds you very attractive.
Ten: No, I don't think so
Jenny: Do you think she finds Hamlet attractive? She must, if she keeps shushing us.
Ten: Well, it's either him or the skull
Jenny: I still don't like that skull.
Jenny: Think it's a Slitheen in disguise?
Ten: No
Ten: A Slytheen can't hide in a single part of the body like that
Jenny: Well. It's definitely creepy!
Ten: It's supposed to be. It heightens the darkness of the play.
Jenny: We really should've just gone and saw a comedy.
Ten: This is supposed to be the greatest play in the entire English language, and you want to walk out and see a comedy?
Jenny: *looks down at playbook and picks something just to annoy her father* How about "Dirty Dancing"? That one sounds promising!
Ten: Dirty Dancing? The film with Patrick Swayze?
Jenny: *points* Look! It says here it's a West End musical!
Ten: They made a West End musical out of Dirty Dancing? Blimey, is there anything not based on something else out there?
Jenny: *shrugs* I don't know.
Ten: Look, now he's dropped the skull, is that better?
Jenny: He's still in the grave.
Ten: He's about to jump out
Ten: Then there's a sword fight, you'll like that bit
Jenny: Yeah! That'll be much more fun!
Ten: Of course, he gets killed
Jenny: Seeeee? We so should've gone with the comedy.
Ten: What? It's still a brilliant ending
Jenny: But he dies!
Ten: But it's a good death
Jenny: And I thought you were against killing and such!
Ten: I am! But not in plays, it's...it's different.
Jenny: How?
Ten: It just...is.
Ten: Theater can show you the brutal, tragic side of life without hurting anyone, I like that.
Ten: It's that brutality in the real world, outside the play, that I don't like
Ten: Stage violence is one thing, true violence is another.
Jenny: Do you have to make everything so complicated all the time?
Ten: That wasn't complicated at all, that was very straightforward
Jenny: No it wasn't! Despising actual violence but appreciating stage violence? You are such a contradiction.
Ten: I am not! The two are very different!
Jenny: They're chasing each other around on the stage with a sword! Promoting death! Tell me how that's different!
*lady in front of them turns around to glare*
Ten: *to lady* Private conversation, you're missing the action!
Lady: You ought to learn some manners, young man. No talking in the theatre!
Jenny: We're only discussing...
Ten: It's a thought provoking play, it's going to provoke thoughts, which are going to provoke discussion, have you got a problem with that, or would you like to continue to glare at us and miss key bits of historically brilliant dialogue?
*lady humphs and turns around, muttering something about kids these days*
Jenny: See? Grumpy plays attract grumpy people
Ten: She's grumpy at us, not the play.
Jenny: But she's still grumpy!
Ten: Which has nothing to do with Hamlet!
Jenny: Right.
Ten: Oh! This is it...he's about to be stabbed...
Jenny: He really doesn't look happy about it
Ten: Well, he's still got to kill his uncle
Jenny: After being stabbed?
Ten: Er...yes.
Ten: Shakespeare was always fond of very lengthy deaths
Ten: It takes most of his characters a fairly long time to actually die
Jenny: That's really inaccurate
Ten: It's dramatic and poetic
Jenny: And inaccurate
Ten: And poetic
Ten: Not everything needs to be accurate
Jenny: Death's aren't joking matters, though! They should be accurate. The dead deserve that much, don't they, Dad?
Ten: Hamlet's death is one of the most tragic and affecting deaths ever written, because it's so long, you appreciate it more
Ten: If he just died, it would be over, and you'd never think about it.
Ten: This way, you really see it.
Jenny: And he suffers horribly for it! I don't like seeing that sort of look on your face.
Ten: What sort of look?
Jenny: His! He's dying and he's trying to kill his uncle and he's anything but happy!
Ten: But look....he's about to kill his uncle
Ten: And once he does, he won't be quite so unhappy
Ten: He'll have fulfilled his ultimate goal
Ten: He'll be at peace
Jenny: And he'll be dead
Ten: And he'll be dead.
Ten: Therein lies the tragedy
Ten: Why not?
Jenny: Because it's so sad! After everything he's been through, he deserves to be happy!
Jenny: Look at him, Dad. He's as sad as you were when I... well. I think you know.
Ten: I know
Ten: But that was different
Jenny: But Hamlet's still suffering
Ten: But his last words are brilliant. He figures it out, and his death is what makes the play.
Jenny: Next time? We are so going to see a comedy.