Gym Shorts
400 ab crunches (plus 50 obliques on each side for those of you who care about such things.) - we are seeing improvement. Oh, and just so's you know - these are performed on a device I call an "ab crunch machine"- the offical name of which I do not know as the labels have all since worn off from a decade and a half of hard use - I mention this because they are NOT the same sort of exercise one would get just doing crunches on the floor. I think one could say they are significantly easier. I tell you this so you don't look at my numbers and get discouraged that it may be difficult to do 20 solid floor-based crunches. So: if you were concerned about this and it was keeping you from starting, please don't be. Start where you are. Do your best. Push yourself to do a little more or with a bit more intensity and you will see results. Remember I love you.
The topic of "montage scenes" came up at work the other day - one of my brokers was lamenting he had been invited to a very posh golf course with a client to shoot a round and he understood the importance of having a good block of face time with someone who might be the source of a lot of new business in the future - but the problem was? he doesn't play golf. Enter the "Montage Scene" with the appropriate "Eye of the Tiger" music playing in the background.
I bring this up because while I was powering through the aforementioned 400 crunches, my mind was wandering to what life will be like in a few months, and when I look back on my time at the gym and hikes and everything else active I intend to do between now and then, I suppose I will remember it as a montage. Then, of course, I had to fill in the movie plot around it. I went back to my favorite - my superhero persona: Avenging Karma: Agent of Universal Justice.
Why am I doing all these crunches? So when the steel doors are closing and there are still people to rescue from the villians' lair, I will be able to hold the door open with THE POWER OF MY ABS!
Why am I getting on that stupid stairmaster that I hate/hate? Because when I need to rescue a small child from some sort of massive underground testing facility, I will be ABLE to power up those 40 flights of stairs while the building explodes around me.
Why am I standing on one leg on a semicircular rubber ball with weights in each outstretched hand? Because one day I will have to traverse the power cables from one building to another in order to disarm the bomb and save the world.
See? We can do any WHAT if we have a compelling enough WHY. I'm a superhero. And form-fitting kevlar is unforgiving of unsightly bulges, especially around the ass.
Have a great day, kids.