ugh to the max
sooo i finally get online and i cant find a single proxy site that works and im soooooo mad >< so thats why im on LJ.
for anyone who doesnt know im super totally grounded until the 7th of April. no phone. no computer. i cant even see my friends in passing. i have to come straight home. its HELL. someone please come kidnap me. im not kidding. really.
i know the time will pass faster than i know it....but its fucked >< i wish my mom could just understand the way i am. i wish i could just tell her im gonna go sleep over at a guy friends house and not have her assume that im going to sleep with them. i wish she trusted my good judgement.
i was left on my own to take care of myself for the longest time. and yeah, i made bad choices and got myself into situatuions no one should have to endure, but i KNOW it wouldve happened sooner or later, i KNOW it could have been worse. and i KNOW that i wouldnt be who i am today if those things hadn' t happened. and its because of that im not scared of going downtown at night in my underwear and im not scared about being on drugs with a bunch of guys. because i have good judgement and i know how to protect myself and i dont need my parents protecting me from demons that arent there. but i know they sensed the change, and suddenly i wasnt my own person anymore i was their property.
anyways. the fun i had that night was worth the punishment, every little bit. but im sad, i guess i have to say too much is never enough.
when im with him, too much is never enough. im trying to think of the perfect mix cd to make him, i also have to figure out a way to make it without a computer. what i need to figure out more than anything is if he feels the same. i pray to jeebuz he does, because hes really something special.