some thing u cant forget-no matter how hard u try
to start off...music is fucking amazing. i'm listening to coheed and cambria and i was listening to it with catrina and it is amazing
this weekend was unbelieveably bad. when i think things couldnt get worse...people just sneak up and shock me. last night might have changed my life forever, actually it did. everything is going to be different now. i think i might have had a nervous breakdown today-it is quite possible. things that upset me like they do are being totally cut out...like a person from a picture. and i hope they are happy. part of me feels bad somehow still though b/c no one will take care of such a weak, needy person. fuck it, when u put urself out and ur hurt...u can only stand the wounds for a certain amount of time. and the scars are thick so good luck to whoever im with next lol.
alrighty--now that all that bad shit is out and i feel better lol...vaca starts tomorrow and im not gonna be a stupid ass like i was this weekend. i was in bed allll day just fucking crying and thats it. i talked to jesse a lot today and i think we are gonna hang. and tomorrow i have plans to get up early and steph is coming over..we are gonna go to jimmy's game then go to the gym. jim got moved to the jv baseball team which is amazing. he is such a good pitcher. very very happy...might as well just let myself go with someone i care about while i have the chance. alrighty...i need to go to bed. i miss kat so much i could have used her today.and....
catrina... i love you so much. last night was stupid and i know it wasnt suppose to happen..u havent hurt me since we have been friends and i couldnt imagine life without u. im sorry if i was dramatic but thats me and we will figure out a way around this. <3
p.s.--i have wanted to put this in my journal forever and i always forget. i was leaving tanning one day like 2 weeks ago and this older black dude held the door for me and my mom and my mom goes oh how nice, a gentlemen. and the guy like yells holla loulya, thank the lord. and i just keeled over and laughed for like 5 mins b/c i didnt think black people actually talked like that lol.
p.s.s. instead of giving nemo a bath, i gave him a shower and it was the cutest thing i have ever seen
this weekend was unbelieveably bad. when i think things couldnt get worse...people just sneak up and shock me. last night might have changed my life forever, actually it did. everything is going to be different now. i think i might have had a nervous breakdown today-it is quite possible. things that upset me like they do are being totally cut out...like a person from a picture. and i hope they are happy. part of me feels bad somehow still though b/c no one will take care of such a weak, needy person. fuck it, when u put urself out and ur hurt...u can only stand the wounds for a certain amount of time. and the scars are thick so good luck to whoever im with next lol.
alrighty--now that all that bad shit is out and i feel better lol...vaca starts tomorrow and im not gonna be a stupid ass like i was this weekend. i was in bed allll day just fucking crying and thats it. i talked to jesse a lot today and i think we are gonna hang. and tomorrow i have plans to get up early and steph is coming over..we are gonna go to jimmy's game then go to the gym. jim got moved to the jv baseball team which is amazing. he is such a good pitcher. very very happy...might as well just let myself go with someone i care about while i have the chance. alrighty...i need to go to bed. i miss kat so much i could have used her today.and....
catrina... i love you so much. last night was stupid and i know it wasnt suppose to happen..u havent hurt me since we have been friends and i couldnt imagine life without u. im sorry if i was dramatic but thats me and we will figure out a way around this. <3
p.s.--i have wanted to put this in my journal forever and i always forget. i was leaving tanning one day like 2 weeks ago and this older black dude held the door for me and my mom and my mom goes oh how nice, a gentlemen. and the guy like yells holla loulya, thank the lord. and i just keeled over and laughed for like 5 mins b/c i didnt think black people actually talked like that lol.
p.s.s. instead of giving nemo a bath, i gave him a shower and it was the cutest thing i have ever seen