(no subject)
HAPPY EASTER!!
oh my gosh....i have actually forgotten that speech is not over. i noticed my tripod yesterday and realized i haven't practiced since that one awesome practice with mrs nelson last friday.... which i guess is good. i did have a habit of over-practicing last year and i like how fresh my speech is this year (what with rewriting it so much and starting late thanks to a topic switch)
--warning.....this is pretty much all going to be about speech to make up for the fact that i haven't thought about it in 2 weeks--
i feel like i should be nervous for sections....but i'm not. i often (well, sorta) daydream about how i'd react in certain situations, but i usually stick to situations in which i win. so i decided to imagine a)making finals but not state, and b)not making finals at all. considering the fact that i am not worried about our own subsections and i'm pretty sure elin won their subsection so i really don't see b happening. unless i completely screw up both rounds. by a lot. and i won't let that happen. and.....i really don't see a happening. i know that probably sounds really bad, but i was reading my speech from last year and it was sooo much worse than this year's. i'm actually surprised i did so well with that. anyway....if i don't make state i will cry. i know it. if i was so pissed at canon falls even after messing up so badly i have to assume i'd be twice as pissed.
i decided that i'm okay with how sucky this season was. i really didn't do that awful...and i messed up a few times at finals (after perfect prelims) so i can't be too upset....it was my fault. and if i had placed first more i would never have changed my speech before canon falls. and i'm really glad i changed it. it was kind of stupid before. i like it better this new way...i have more fun with it...and i think it's more interesting to listen to. "obstacles are put in your way to see if what you want is really worth fighting for" very true. i had forgotten that the whole point of this year was to win subs, sections, and state. i won subs, i think i can win sections, and i probably have a shot at state. even if i at least get close i'll be happy. really what held me back last year was my topic, and this topic is much much better....
i'm skipping spanish and linguistics tomorrow (after all i had to wake up at 4 this morning...i think i deserve to sleep in)....and there's no school....and my sis has a doctor appointment so i can practice while she and my mom are gone. then there's just this week before sections. i think i'll be okay "over practicing" this week so i don't stress over memory lapses.
i know i fixate on this too much. and i know nobody cares and everyone thinks i'm nuts. but i have had this goal for four years and when i set a goal i don't sleep until i accomplish it. i'll be happy/relieved when it's done, but until then i'm going to have fun with this and make sure NOTHING distracts me from doing what i need to do. speech is the one thing i really think i'm good at. i mean there's volleyball, but i have to work hard at it and there are people better than i am and it takes money and time to be the best. speech doesn't take money and doesn't require me to leave and talk to people to improve. it's something i can realisticly strive to be the best at and i need to take advantage of that.
i want to win.
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in other news....i'm getting excited at the thought of volleyball in college :)
oh my gosh....i have actually forgotten that speech is not over. i noticed my tripod yesterday and realized i haven't practiced since that one awesome practice with mrs nelson last friday.... which i guess is good. i did have a habit of over-practicing last year and i like how fresh my speech is this year (what with rewriting it so much and starting late thanks to a topic switch)
--warning.....this is pretty much all going to be about speech to make up for the fact that i haven't thought about it in 2 weeks--
i feel like i should be nervous for sections....but i'm not. i often (well, sorta) daydream about how i'd react in certain situations, but i usually stick to situations in which i win. so i decided to imagine a)making finals but not state, and b)not making finals at all. considering the fact that i am not worried about our own subsections and i'm pretty sure elin won their subsection so i really don't see b happening. unless i completely screw up both rounds. by a lot. and i won't let that happen. and.....i really don't see a happening. i know that probably sounds really bad, but i was reading my speech from last year and it was sooo much worse than this year's. i'm actually surprised i did so well with that. anyway....if i don't make state i will cry. i know it. if i was so pissed at canon falls even after messing up so badly i have to assume i'd be twice as pissed.
i decided that i'm okay with how sucky this season was. i really didn't do that awful...and i messed up a few times at finals (after perfect prelims) so i can't be too upset....it was my fault. and if i had placed first more i would never have changed my speech before canon falls. and i'm really glad i changed it. it was kind of stupid before. i like it better this new way...i have more fun with it...and i think it's more interesting to listen to. "obstacles are put in your way to see if what you want is really worth fighting for" very true. i had forgotten that the whole point of this year was to win subs, sections, and state. i won subs, i think i can win sections, and i probably have a shot at state. even if i at least get close i'll be happy. really what held me back last year was my topic, and this topic is much much better....
i'm skipping spanish and linguistics tomorrow (after all i had to wake up at 4 this morning...i think i deserve to sleep in)....and there's no school....and my sis has a doctor appointment so i can practice while she and my mom are gone. then there's just this week before sections. i think i'll be okay "over practicing" this week so i don't stress over memory lapses.
i know i fixate on this too much. and i know nobody cares and everyone thinks i'm nuts. but i have had this goal for four years and when i set a goal i don't sleep until i accomplish it. i'll be happy/relieved when it's done, but until then i'm going to have fun with this and make sure NOTHING distracts me from doing what i need to do. speech is the one thing i really think i'm good at. i mean there's volleyball, but i have to work hard at it and there are people better than i am and it takes money and time to be the best. speech doesn't take money and doesn't require me to leave and talk to people to improve. it's something i can realisticly strive to be the best at and i need to take advantage of that.
i want to win.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
in other news....i'm getting excited at the thought of volleyball in college :)