i fell off today ...
all i can see is myself falling and hitting the ground. i cant hear any compliment she gives me after that. i dont hear it, i cant listen. shes lying. the only thing my mind is set on is how i let her down again. how i let myself down again. the way i cant just get it right like a normal person. i can see myself on the ground crying and apologizing again and again, how could i have been such a fool. i feel myself alone in the chair, averting her eyes completly no matter what she says. because i know that if i look at her, fresh new tears with spring from my eyes, and i cant handle that again. i think of my friend, how easy she made it seem just moments ago. and how i'll never get it right, i'll never get it right. i let everybody down again. and i'm everything short of perfect. i never should have woken up this morning.