nightmares of death and cake
I had one of the most frightening dreams of my life last night.
In it I was at an event where President Obama was assassinated. Because the killers were still at large, I locked myself up and hid in my parent’s house forgetting about Nonnie, my grandmother, across the road. While I was hiding, the killers broken into Nonnie’s house and murdered her in bed. I dreamed I had to go over to identify the body (her curly white hair had been clipped short and dyed blonde). I also had to clean up her last meal which was cake and ice cream, and ended up binging on the leftovers.
A really upsetting dream on so many levels, from the national to the personal. I know the parts involving my grandmother must have been influenced by True Blood- the grandmother of the heroine, Sookie, is murdered and after the funeral Sookie eats what’s left of the last pie her grandmother made. Still, even though I realize where the basic idea came from it still seemed so real.
Since I may very well be going to live with Nonnie in a few months if may be my subconscious trying to come to terms with the reality that she may not live very long and that I’m going to be involved in the last days of her life and ultimately her death if I decide to move in with her. It’s not something I’ve wanted to think about, but Nonnie is 90 years old and though in general good health very frail. I guess I need to acknowledge the reality that she probably is going to die within the next few years and that I’m going to need to come to terms with it, especially if I make her a more of a part of my life.
In it I was at an event where President Obama was assassinated. Because the killers were still at large, I locked myself up and hid in my parent’s house forgetting about Nonnie, my grandmother, across the road. While I was hiding, the killers broken into Nonnie’s house and murdered her in bed. I dreamed I had to go over to identify the body (her curly white hair had been clipped short and dyed blonde). I also had to clean up her last meal which was cake and ice cream, and ended up binging on the leftovers.
A really upsetting dream on so many levels, from the national to the personal. I know the parts involving my grandmother must have been influenced by True Blood- the grandmother of the heroine, Sookie, is murdered and after the funeral Sookie eats what’s left of the last pie her grandmother made. Still, even though I realize where the basic idea came from it still seemed so real.
Since I may very well be going to live with Nonnie in a few months if may be my subconscious trying to come to terms with the reality that she may not live very long and that I’m going to be involved in the last days of her life and ultimately her death if I decide to move in with her. It’s not something I’ve wanted to think about, but Nonnie is 90 years old and though in general good health very frail. I guess I need to acknowledge the reality that she probably is going to die within the next few years and that I’m going to need to come to terms with it, especially if I make her a more of a part of my life.