(no subject)
applied for a job today. didn't get it because i was 7 key-stokes short of what they were looking for. i took me 3 tries to get that. i got better with each try but wasn't given a forth chance. oh well. part of me doesn't want a job i am FINALLY USED TO being a homemaker. but i am evil. i make my poor R clean up and do laundry on his day off. well part of that is he is trying to win me back. there is nothing more persuasive than a man who cleans house, it really gets me hot, turns me on. R says watching me help the kids get him going. we are so weird.
gosh this is more tame than i originally intended but this is what is on my mind right now.
i ripped a CSR's head off today. as i have been one, to do so is really fucking odd. perhaps i was channeling R's frustration on top of my own. i had like for the 5th time ask the same question to get dumped on hold and then given the exact same wrong answer to my question. my eldest, N, is supposed to be starting ritalin. his brother is already taking it. the insurance will pay for A's meds but not N's. it is the EXACT SAME DRUG. the only difference is the dosage. N's lower. i want to know why they will pay for a higher dose but not a lower dose. i was really pissed over this odd decision. that was the question i kept asking and was told repeatedly as though i was speaking to automatons/robots/whatever that there are just some drugs that aren't approved and need prior authorization. i take an expensive antidepressant, a fairly new one, so i knew this. i understood that ritalin la 10mg wasn't on their fucking list. i knew it when i called. hey it was the fucking reason WHY i called. i was told this ad nauseam that it wasn't on their list. i kept asking why. the stupid bitch and asshole i talked to didn't say anything even REMOTELY empathetic, i like understand your frustration but unfortunately this is all i am allowed to say. or as parent myself i would be just as confused and upset but i have faxed the necessary form to your doctor and this should be straightened out soon. oh you want to know why? umm.. honestly i don't know why but if you write these people perhaps they can answer your questions.
i would have excepted anything like that but i had to shreik like a banshee, act like a fishwife, in order to get the address of the jackasses who could tell me why. why they made this incomprehensible decision to pay for Ritalin LA at 20mg but not when the script is for half the amount! absolutely moronic!
i really snuggled with R for the first time since we began this whole let's-move-back-in-together-and-try-to-make-it-work-because-i-love-you thing. the whole reason i haven't done it is because i haven't felt loved. barely tolerated is the correct descriptor for his previous treatment of me.
well telling him and mostly meaning it that i was good and ready to walk out the door and keep going and accompanied said statement with much melodramatic and sincere crying seemed to have gotten through. and i don't know how much of his change of attitude has to do with the kids most likely going with me or just me leaving him. i know i was miserable with out him. i was crazy-in-love. i hope i can be again.
gosh this is more tame than i originally intended but this is what is on my mind right now.
i ripped a CSR's head off today. as i have been one, to do so is really fucking odd. perhaps i was channeling R's frustration on top of my own. i had like for the 5th time ask the same question to get dumped on hold and then given the exact same wrong answer to my question. my eldest, N, is supposed to be starting ritalin. his brother is already taking it. the insurance will pay for A's meds but not N's. it is the EXACT SAME DRUG. the only difference is the dosage. N's lower. i want to know why they will pay for a higher dose but not a lower dose. i was really pissed over this odd decision. that was the question i kept asking and was told repeatedly as though i was speaking to automatons/robots/whatever that there are just some drugs that aren't approved and need prior authorization. i take an expensive antidepressant, a fairly new one, so i knew this. i understood that ritalin la 10mg wasn't on their fucking list. i knew it when i called. hey it was the fucking reason WHY i called. i was told this ad nauseam that it wasn't on their list. i kept asking why. the stupid bitch and asshole i talked to didn't say anything even REMOTELY empathetic, i like understand your frustration but unfortunately this is all i am allowed to say. or as parent myself i would be just as confused and upset but i have faxed the necessary form to your doctor and this should be straightened out soon. oh you want to know why? umm.. honestly i don't know why but if you write these people perhaps they can answer your questions.
i would have excepted anything like that but i had to shreik like a banshee, act like a fishwife, in order to get the address of the jackasses who could tell me why. why they made this incomprehensible decision to pay for Ritalin LA at 20mg but not when the script is for half the amount! absolutely moronic!
i really snuggled with R for the first time since we began this whole let's-move-back-in-together-and-try-to-make-it-work-because-i-love-you thing. the whole reason i haven't done it is because i haven't felt loved. barely tolerated is the correct descriptor for his previous treatment of me.
well telling him and mostly meaning it that i was good and ready to walk out the door and keep going and accompanied said statement with much melodramatic and sincere crying seemed to have gotten through. and i don't know how much of his change of attitude has to do with the kids most likely going with me or just me leaving him. i know i was miserable with out him. i was crazy-in-love. i hope i can be again.