on the tip of my tongue.
ick. it's late. i just spent an hour or so cleaning my room. figured i'd get it over with already. homecoming was tonight. of course i didn't go. been there, done that...i watched something's gotta give instead. it was OK, nothing spectacular. some funny moments. keanu made it all worthwhile. gah, what a hunk!
before that, I DROVE! a lot. i'm ready to take my driver's test -- maybe? don't know. i'll have to think it over. i need to make sure i won't flip out in front of whoever gives me the test. i also need to work more on parking. and calming my nerves. i get emotional. but that's because my mother ticks me off every five seconds when she's in the car with me! i'm slowly learning how to control my rage though, or at least hold it in until we get home. it's worse with my dad, which is why i absolutely refuse to drive with him anymore.
earlier i had called david, asked him if he wanted to hang out. no such luck. he threw some lame excuse my way. last night when i volunteer at the YMCA with him and stuff, he acted like we would. sure i'm frustrated with him. he makes me feel incredibly stupid, much more than anyone else can (trust me, there's a lot of people); this terrifies me. it's OVER. i am done with his aloofness. he can just piss off. i'm meant to be an old maid. the virgin queen. and it's his fault. but as my fortune cookie from the chinese takeout i ordered out of my trivial heartbreak said, i have CONTROL over destiny. i must be able to choose how i end up. what would be the point of dealing with all this crap then?
i'm going to now brush my teeth as i ponder my lack of a "social" life.
before that, I DROVE! a lot. i'm ready to take my driver's test -- maybe? don't know. i'll have to think it over. i need to make sure i won't flip out in front of whoever gives me the test. i also need to work more on parking. and calming my nerves. i get emotional. but that's because my mother ticks me off every five seconds when she's in the car with me! i'm slowly learning how to control my rage though, or at least hold it in until we get home. it's worse with my dad, which is why i absolutely refuse to drive with him anymore.
earlier i had called david, asked him if he wanted to hang out. no such luck. he threw some lame excuse my way. last night when i volunteer at the YMCA with him and stuff, he acted like we would. sure i'm frustrated with him. he makes me feel incredibly stupid, much more than anyone else can (trust me, there's a lot of people); this terrifies me. it's OVER. i am done with his aloofness. he can just piss off. i'm meant to be an old maid. the virgin queen. and it's his fault. but as my fortune cookie from the chinese takeout i ordered out of my trivial heartbreak said, i have CONTROL over destiny. i must be able to choose how i end up. what would be the point of dealing with all this crap then?
i'm going to now brush my teeth as i ponder my lack of a "social" life.