Um... A little better, today, actually...
So, I don't know why, there's no particular rhyme or reason, unless it is that today I am home again with Tom and the world seems to have righted itself somewhat. I have cautiously extended tendrils to the outside world from within our safe cocoon, and so far it goes well. I have done washing. I have phoned the passport office and have an appointment for Friday, which will give me a passport in a week from then. I have phoned my mother and begged and whined and she has agreed to come with me AND pay the 90 squid fee, until payday, which should mean we can afford to pay what I owe the Student Loans Company for my late deferral. I have agreed with Matt that I won't be attending another LARP event till Renewal (August BH), which means effectively that I can spend two weekends at least being spoilt by my mother while he goes off and does things.
My plants aren't dead, and the cat hasn't entirely disappeared (thanks to the efforts of maleghast, to whom I owe at least a hot dinner and some wine). Copious application of lemsip and tea has deadened the hideous cold I had yesterday somewhat.
All it needs is for Matt to be on time to take me riding tonight, and I think I could actually be persuaded to think the world is not an entirely bad place. And the craziest thing - from this point, I can't actually say why I was so damned depressed last week. Maybe it was being forced into a situation where all the insecurities the depression thrust upon me were highlighted and tattooed across my skull in a "Normal people don't feel like this!" kind of way. Maybe it was just being overridden by people with less intelligence and social skills than the average housebrick. But now, at home, none of that matters. I am In My Place, and it will do.
My plants aren't dead, and the cat hasn't entirely disappeared (thanks to the efforts of maleghast, to whom I owe at least a hot dinner and some wine). Copious application of lemsip and tea has deadened the hideous cold I had yesterday somewhat.
All it needs is for Matt to be on time to take me riding tonight, and I think I could actually be persuaded to think the world is not an entirely bad place. And the craziest thing - from this point, I can't actually say why I was so damned depressed last week. Maybe it was being forced into a situation where all the insecurities the depression thrust upon me were highlighted and tattooed across my skull in a "Normal people don't feel like this!" kind of way. Maybe it was just being overridden by people with less intelligence and social skills than the average housebrick. But now, at home, none of that matters. I am In My Place, and it will do.