over land and sea
another list of things.
and since my last entry...
-received Master of Music in voice performance
-packed up and moved to be with hubby in Germany
-acquired new puppy!! she is now 16 weeks old, great dane,
harlequin colorings. her name is Fricka.
-felt totally out of water. still feel that way.
-am no longer a student
undergraduate studies began in 2001, ended in 2007
graduate 2008-2010
and now...applying for competitions and singing gigs in germany/ europe
-haven't read anything substantial since i moved here
-now living on post with other military spouses, different culture
-out of touch with friends from SF, seeking them out via facebook
-trying to be a decent care taker of our apartment when he's at work/ on a gig
-trying to be a good, caring, compassionate, honest, listening, proactive wife
-had some altercations with health--now cleared up--insurance via army is amazing--unreal
-haven't been practicing since the big move...the drive to do so has lessened...which is annoying
-some darker times in my mind for some reason...annoying/ hoping to not need drugs or counseling
anyway.
so it's a quiet time. reflective. lonely. weird. i'd like to be happy for what i have and where i am. i am grateful, i am. it is unreal to be living here in germany. i have a great husband who is a great man. i suppose the two go hand in hand.
i just feel like i have no idea what is going on with me.
and that it might turn into a bad spiral down.
down and inward. as it has in the past.
my last 'break' was in 2004.
since then there have been depressions, but not
as low. i suppose depression is depression.
[am i due for another one?]
i know that having a job would help.
it would give me some other purpose. even
if it was part time work.
but now, with the puppy, and potential opera gigs on the horizon,
i am reluctant to go out and do anything.
i don't have my european license yet--we have one car between us, which he takes to work and gigs when needed. so i don't see a need to study for one just yet. i have a bike, which was a present from my dear in laws. it was a present for graduating. haven't used it yet.
what am i waiting for
and since my last entry...
-received Master of Music in voice performance
-packed up and moved to be with hubby in Germany
-acquired new puppy!! she is now 16 weeks old, great dane,
harlequin colorings. her name is Fricka.
-felt totally out of water. still feel that way.
-am no longer a student
undergraduate studies began in 2001, ended in 2007
graduate 2008-2010
and now...applying for competitions and singing gigs in germany/ europe
-haven't read anything substantial since i moved here
-now living on post with other military spouses, different culture
-out of touch with friends from SF, seeking them out via facebook
-trying to be a decent care taker of our apartment when he's at work/ on a gig
-trying to be a good, caring, compassionate, honest, listening, proactive wife
-had some altercations with health--now cleared up--insurance via army is amazing--unreal
-haven't been practicing since the big move...the drive to do so has lessened...which is annoying
-some darker times in my mind for some reason...annoying/ hoping to not need drugs or counseling
anyway.
so it's a quiet time. reflective. lonely. weird. i'd like to be happy for what i have and where i am. i am grateful, i am. it is unreal to be living here in germany. i have a great husband who is a great man. i suppose the two go hand in hand.
i just feel like i have no idea what is going on with me.
and that it might turn into a bad spiral down.
down and inward. as it has in the past.
my last 'break' was in 2004.
since then there have been depressions, but not
as low. i suppose depression is depression.
[am i due for another one?]
i know that having a job would help.
it would give me some other purpose. even
if it was part time work.
but now, with the puppy, and potential opera gigs on the horizon,
i am reluctant to go out and do anything.
i don't have my european license yet--we have one car between us, which he takes to work and gigs when needed. so i don't see a need to study for one just yet. i have a bike, which was a present from my dear in laws. it was a present for graduating. haven't used it yet.
what am i waiting for