(no subject)
well. one half of the best family i've ever known is officially gone. i have 2 days and there will be no more going over 779 knollwood terr every time i possibly can. I've been crying since sunday. i cant believe that this is what i've been preparing for (trying to prepare for at least). well, yesterday was my last day with anthony. my bestfriend. i really didnt think i was gonna be this upset. i havent cryed this much in a long time. my last day with ajohn went like this. i was home yesterday and around 12:45 ajohn and bailey called to see if i could go to magic grill with them, but i couldnt because i had already made plans to go shopping with deanna. well ajohn said he was already on my street so i told them to stop by. they did and i told them i couldnt go, and then ajohn pulled out the "cricri u have to come...(blahblah). i think im leaving tonight" and that just did it for me. i was like are you serious? and he was like yeah around 9. i think they knew i got upset. i could feel the tears starting to fill me eyes. i told them to go and that i would call them when i get back. so i rode my bike to deenies and we did our shopping thing. i told her i wanted to do this as fast as possible (not that i didnt want to hang out with her. i love her. but i told her about anthony-she didnt even kno the johnsons were moving- and i hope she understood). well we got back at like 3 and as soon as we got back i called ajohn, but no one answered, i just left a message that i was comming over. so i grabbed my bike and rode as fast as my little heart could ride. i got to his street and when i saw his house the tears began again. i rode up the driveway (past the moving truck) and pet cleo as i went inside. when i went inside i saw all these ppl packin up and boxes everywhere. trying to stay calm i asked one of the workers if anyone was home. they told me to check upstairs. i walked up the stairs and i saw mrs johnson and i just brokedown. i hugged her and kissed her and we went into her room (the only room that was still the same -except for a few douffle bags ready to be packed into the car) and we sat on the bed and just cryed for like 10 minutes. then mr johnson came in and he sat on the other side of me, and we all just sat there and i cryed and we hugged and i was just thinking about how much i love them. they are seriously my second family. there i was, with my surrogate mom and dad and they were gonna be leaving me and i just hate the thought.
anthony came home like 15 min after i had arrived and he just sat with me for a bit. then he told me bailey was downstairs. we went downstairs and i saw bailey and we hugged and i cryed a bit more. we really needed to get out of the house so ajohn suggested we go for a walk. so we took cleo with us and went outside. it was so nice yesterday. while we were walking i was thinking about how its so strange how the weather always sets the perfect atmosphere for whatever is going on. while we walked yesterday i just remember thinking what a perfect day it was, but it was so eerily quiet out. like all the sound was just shut out. it was like a movie. well we walked to edison field and after having cleo run around for a while and a few jokes told and my eyes were dry again bailey decided to leave. im really glad she understood that i wanted to spend some time with ajohn alone. after we said bye to bailey we brought cleo back home and then decided to see if ash was home. so we walked the 3 houses down to his house. no one was home but we decided to go in the backyard and we ended up sitting on the edge of the pool talking for a bit. about 10 min later we went back to anthony's. we went up to his room. the emptiest i'v ever seen it. we layed on paul's mattress and talked for a long time (his mattress was in the tv room -he had a sleep over the other night)then he got up and played some songs on his keyboard. i had a really good time with him yesterday afternoon. just us hangin out, like bestfriends. i was pretty good the rest of the afternoon. in the late evening ashton, lin, robs and lauren came over. it was a good time. us just hanin out in this empty house. but 9 o clock came and it was time for eevryone to leave and we all said our good byes. i was last to say bye and everyone had gone outside. it was me, pops, mama, and anthony left. i said bye to mama first (hugs kisses, i love yous) then to pops and then finally to anthony. robs and ashton were waiting for me outside and that was when i got hysterical again. i cryed and cryed. we walked to ashtons house and then i cryed with mrs golembo. they wanted me to go out with them but i decided that i just wanted to go home. so they brought me home. and then i went to my mama and cryed some more. i just couldnt stop.
well i got home at like 9:30 and i called pamela. i love her. i heard her and her friends in the background and she was having such a good time. and i cryed for a bit to her but she put me in such a good state of mind. "cri we're not dead" she said. and her attitude was so set and confident, and i was just like yea. everythings gonna be fine. everything is ok. i have so many places i can look forward to visiting now. and now im in a better mood.i cant wait to see her friday. so even tho im gonna miss ajohn and pv and mama and papa johnson, im gonna be ok. i can call them any time i want, they're all always gonna be there when i need them. so theres nothign to worry about.
so johnsons. if u read this. i love you. bestfriends forever.
anthony came home like 15 min after i had arrived and he just sat with me for a bit. then he told me bailey was downstairs. we went downstairs and i saw bailey and we hugged and i cryed a bit more. we really needed to get out of the house so ajohn suggested we go for a walk. so we took cleo with us and went outside. it was so nice yesterday. while we were walking i was thinking about how its so strange how the weather always sets the perfect atmosphere for whatever is going on. while we walked yesterday i just remember thinking what a perfect day it was, but it was so eerily quiet out. like all the sound was just shut out. it was like a movie. well we walked to edison field and after having cleo run around for a while and a few jokes told and my eyes were dry again bailey decided to leave. im really glad she understood that i wanted to spend some time with ajohn alone. after we said bye to bailey we brought cleo back home and then decided to see if ash was home. so we walked the 3 houses down to his house. no one was home but we decided to go in the backyard and we ended up sitting on the edge of the pool talking for a bit. about 10 min later we went back to anthony's. we went up to his room. the emptiest i'v ever seen it. we layed on paul's mattress and talked for a long time (his mattress was in the tv room -he had a sleep over the other night)then he got up and played some songs on his keyboard. i had a really good time with him yesterday afternoon. just us hangin out, like bestfriends. i was pretty good the rest of the afternoon. in the late evening ashton, lin, robs and lauren came over. it was a good time. us just hanin out in this empty house. but 9 o clock came and it was time for eevryone to leave and we all said our good byes. i was last to say bye and everyone had gone outside. it was me, pops, mama, and anthony left. i said bye to mama first (hugs kisses, i love yous) then to pops and then finally to anthony. robs and ashton were waiting for me outside and that was when i got hysterical again. i cryed and cryed. we walked to ashtons house and then i cryed with mrs golembo. they wanted me to go out with them but i decided that i just wanted to go home. so they brought me home. and then i went to my mama and cryed some more. i just couldnt stop.
well i got home at like 9:30 and i called pamela. i love her. i heard her and her friends in the background and she was having such a good time. and i cryed for a bit to her but she put me in such a good state of mind. "cri we're not dead" she said. and her attitude was so set and confident, and i was just like yea. everythings gonna be fine. everything is ok. i have so many places i can look forward to visiting now. and now im in a better mood.i cant wait to see her friday. so even tho im gonna miss ajohn and pv and mama and papa johnson, im gonna be ok. i can call them any time i want, they're all always gonna be there when i need them. so theres nothign to worry about.
so johnsons. if u read this. i love you. bestfriends forever.