(no subject)
I swear...I love being home but I feel like I'm not even a part of this family anymore. When Linda addresses Andrea, she's gets to be "Sissy" (for Ethan), but I'm still just Nicole....it's like just cuz I go to college I am shut out. I'm getting all the lame aspects of going to college without any of the fun...I'm disjointed from the family.
I guess that's the hard part of growing up. Realizing that you are an adult and need to have time on your own so you can start your own family when the time is right...but I'm only 19. Am I ready to be on my own? I better get all the benefits that go with it....I'm going on that cruise, I don't care what the parentals say.
It's like....I am still and will always be a part of my dad's and my mom's and my sister's life. But as for Linda...she disowned me a while ago and she's trying her hardest to keep me out of her son's life. Well I want to be a part of his life, he's my half-brother, dammit! And he's a baby and she's trying to shut me out....and it's working.
So Linda...here you go.
I'm sorry I disappointed you so as a teenager. I always wanted your approval but I failed you and I feel like you've never forgiven me, no matter how hard I try. I am really sorry for all the hurt I caused you and all the mistakes I made but I feel like after I turned 16, you shut me out and I will never be a part of your life again. I'd be ok with that except, I mean....you're my stepmom. You're an integral part of my everyday life but it seems like nothing I ever do is good enough to make up for the few mistakes I made as a kid, A KID, a child, children are supposed to screw up. I'm obviously doing fine now, look at how far I've come. But no, you'd rather keep your eyes shut. I know you have a new baby and I'm so happy that's what I've wanted for you for a long time....and I'm fine with you not loving me or even treating me like a daughter. Just please....don't ignore me anymore.
I guess that's the hard part of growing up. Realizing that you are an adult and need to have time on your own so you can start your own family when the time is right...but I'm only 19. Am I ready to be on my own? I better get all the benefits that go with it....I'm going on that cruise, I don't care what the parentals say.
It's like....I am still and will always be a part of my dad's and my mom's and my sister's life. But as for Linda...she disowned me a while ago and she's trying her hardest to keep me out of her son's life. Well I want to be a part of his life, he's my half-brother, dammit! And he's a baby and she's trying to shut me out....and it's working.
So Linda...here you go.
I'm sorry I disappointed you so as a teenager. I always wanted your approval but I failed you and I feel like you've never forgiven me, no matter how hard I try. I am really sorry for all the hurt I caused you and all the mistakes I made but I feel like after I turned 16, you shut me out and I will never be a part of your life again. I'd be ok with that except, I mean....you're my stepmom. You're an integral part of my everyday life but it seems like nothing I ever do is good enough to make up for the few mistakes I made as a kid, A KID, a child, children are supposed to screw up. I'm obviously doing fine now, look at how far I've come. But no, you'd rather keep your eyes shut. I know you have a new baby and I'm so happy that's what I've wanted for you for a long time....and I'm fine with you not loving me or even treating me like a daughter. Just please....don't ignore me anymore.