(no subject)
Today, I write a hypocritical post about how lonely I am. After all the comments about how happy I've been and how silly it is to be upset during this amazing weather, and I'm miserable? Oy, I'm ridiculous. Regardless, I feel more alone than I have in a very long time. I feel like curling up in a ball and crying...I feel like being held...I want to be held. I want to be hugged. i want to be wanted. I want to be loved. I want to be missed and desired and pretty again.
...I am too needy. and emo. and too different right now to ever be told "i love you". I hate feeling this way. I hate the way he's able to make me feel. I hate using lj as a means to cry. I can't seem to bring myself to crying much, even though I'm in so much pain. Tonight again I felt the sting of being alone. It sunk in when I wasn't told that I wasn;t needed for the case study competition tonight. Not that that would be a big deal, except I was already feeling unwanted. Walking into Atif's room and just simply being told "we're covered" at a time when all I needed was to be told I was wanted was a bit too much to hear.
Don’t worry ’bout me
I’ll get along
Forget about me
Just be happy my love
Let’s say that our little show is over
And so the story ends
Why not call it a day the sensible way
And still be friends
Look out for yourself
That should be the rule
Give your heart and your love
To whomever you love
Darlin’ don’t be a fool
Why do we cling to this old faded thing
That used to be
So if you can forget
Then you don’t worry ’bout me