no good, very bad night
Most stressful night of my life. I went to pick up some pictures last night (that didn't even get developed because I'm a fucking moron and loaded the film wrong I think) and went back to aunt Carol's to get Joey. It was around 9 and he was sitting in the back with uncle Joe and he said we had to go home cause my parents were fighting pretty bad. So we went home, all the way saying we're not going to keep doing nothing and ignoring this because then it just allows my dad to think that, hey, no one cares that I'm drinking, so I can keep doing it! No one's going to say anything or try to stop me! But we got home and everything was quiet. We wanted to say something but didn't know what to do, we didn't want to get everyone worked up again. But first, Thursday night when my mom came to pick me up, Joey, Liz, and Ben were with her because no one wanted to stay home alone because my dad had been gone for hours, and would no doubt come back hammered. When we got back around 9:30 on Thursday, he was home, and he has the blackest eye you've ever seen. He says he went to an AA meeting in Bridgeport (dubious as he went to one Wednesday, for real, he hates AA so I don't know why he even went and he came back Wednesday night and drank anyway) at a church on Clinton ave. He says after the meeting, some guys were outside, one called him a phony, he called him a spic, and the guy punched him in the eye. I doubt this happened at an AA meeting, sounds more like a bar. There were AA meetings in Bridgeport Thursday night, but unfortunately none at the church at the time he said he was there. Unless he went to the Clinton ave church at 8 AM, which I know he didn't. Anyway I think he's lucky he only got punched in the face, and the guy didn't take out a fucking knife or a gun.
So yesterday he was on the couch ALL DAY, no doubt hung over pretty bad because he wasn't at no fucking AA meeting the night before. I left around 3 to bring Liz to her hair appt. I dropped her back home at around 5:30ish, my dad was still on the couch. I left with Matt. Liz called around 7:30 to ask if I was coming home because my parents were fighting really bad. So back to when I came home at 9. Everything was quiet, but before, my dad told my mom he had quit his job, and he doesn't want to work anymore. She flipped the fuck out and started hitting him while he sat on the couch, Liz came downstairs and pulled her away or tried to. She went upstairs for a while, he called her down and said someone was on the phone. She went downstairs, no one was on the phone. He said if she hit him again, he was calling the cops on her. So fucking laughable, as how much damage could she really do to him? Coward. Anyway this was all over by the time we came home so we didn't know what to do or say, if anything. I took my dad's phone and called Dr. Lim. I told her it was pretty bad tonight and asked if he was willing, were there any detox or treatment options that he could go to RIGHT NOW. Unfortunately, it's kind of a bind- we don't have health insurance right now. Dr. Lim had set him up with an inpatient thing at a hospital in Derby last week, appts with a couple therapists, and he never showed to any of them. So I understand that she's tried to do what she can, but you can't make an unwilling adult go to treatment, unfortunately. I'm sure he's been calling and bothering her for days now, but I really appreciated that she took the time to call me back, and she said she would make a few calls to see if there were any options.
Now after this, it was quiet for a while, but my mom went downstairs and they started up again. I left to go for a drive, and I was at Bond's dock and Joey called and said I had to come home because he just called the cops because he heard my mom say "don't put your fucking hands on me". I was only down the street but they were there when I got there...big fucking help they were. Guess they couldn't do much because nothing was going on when they came. One of them talked to my dad and the other one talked to my mom and us. There was nothing to really say except that he'd been drinking, he quit his job and whatnot. The cop told us they were going to tell him one of the neighbors heard them yelling and called. Except the other cop told him my brother called, because when they left he started yelling that he's cancelling the insurance on my brothers and my car, and taking away his cell phone. I went outside and talked to Rob for a while because he's pretty much the only person I know who's been through shit like this before. Liz called me and told me to come in, because my dad kept coming upstairs wanting to "talk" to my mom and they were kind of scared.
So I go back in and I sit in my room for a while, my dad keeps coming upstairs and asking my mom to come downstairs so he could talk to her. Why he couldn't talk to her upstairs, I don't know. My mom asked me to sit in her room with her and to try and talk to him next time he came up, thinking he might listen to me. So the next time he came up, he just stands in the doorway staring at my mom, and he was really fucking scary last night, the way he was acting and with the black eye. I said "Dad, come on, it's been a bad night, we all just want to go to sleep now, we can talk in the morning" and then he starts yelling "No, it hasn't been a bad night, but then you guys had to call the fucking cops for no fucking reason, I'm fucking fine, all I want to do is talk to your mother and you guys are sitting in here holding her fucking hostage!!" I was trying to say "Uh, no you're not fine, you're drunk as fuck and take a look at your face" but he kept talking over me and being insane. Honestly I was really scared last night, I was afraid if my mom went downstairs he would hurt her, I was shaking so bad and I had horrible migraine (still do). Usually when he's drunk he's depressing and feeling guilty, but not last night. I was seriously afraid of him. My mom didn't go downstairs though, I was afraid for her if she did, I don't think he wanted to talk, I think he wanted to beat her or something and couldn't do it upstairs because me and Liz were sitting in her room with her. I think he came upstairs once more after that, and after that he would sit downstairs mumbling to himself and randomly yell her name, I fucking jumped out of my skin everytime he did it. Finally around 1:15 or so, he stopped. This was about 2 hours after the cops had came. Oh and then he kept saying he quit his job, if my mom didn't come downstairs he wasn't going back to work on Monday, she could shoulder the load on her own, and he wasn't paying the mortgage anymore and he didn't give a shit if we lost the house and all had to live in a homeless shelter in a few weeks.
Dr Lim came over about an hour ago and tried to discuss some treatment options with him but he wasn't having any of it. My mom came upstairs to tell me to come down but then she'd already left, probably not wanting to waste her time with someone who's not going to take in anything she was saying, and at this point, I can't blame her. I'm just incredibly stressed out right now, I have absolutely no control over this situation, none of us does. I'm worried for my dad, for us, this is just an awful situation...
So yesterday he was on the couch ALL DAY, no doubt hung over pretty bad because he wasn't at no fucking AA meeting the night before. I left around 3 to bring Liz to her hair appt. I dropped her back home at around 5:30ish, my dad was still on the couch. I left with Matt. Liz called around 7:30 to ask if I was coming home because my parents were fighting really bad. So back to when I came home at 9. Everything was quiet, but before, my dad told my mom he had quit his job, and he doesn't want to work anymore. She flipped the fuck out and started hitting him while he sat on the couch, Liz came downstairs and pulled her away or tried to. She went upstairs for a while, he called her down and said someone was on the phone. She went downstairs, no one was on the phone. He said if she hit him again, he was calling the cops on her. So fucking laughable, as how much damage could she really do to him? Coward. Anyway this was all over by the time we came home so we didn't know what to do or say, if anything. I took my dad's phone and called Dr. Lim. I told her it was pretty bad tonight and asked if he was willing, were there any detox or treatment options that he could go to RIGHT NOW. Unfortunately, it's kind of a bind- we don't have health insurance right now. Dr. Lim had set him up with an inpatient thing at a hospital in Derby last week, appts with a couple therapists, and he never showed to any of them. So I understand that she's tried to do what she can, but you can't make an unwilling adult go to treatment, unfortunately. I'm sure he's been calling and bothering her for days now, but I really appreciated that she took the time to call me back, and she said she would make a few calls to see if there were any options.
Now after this, it was quiet for a while, but my mom went downstairs and they started up again. I left to go for a drive, and I was at Bond's dock and Joey called and said I had to come home because he just called the cops because he heard my mom say "don't put your fucking hands on me". I was only down the street but they were there when I got there...big fucking help they were. Guess they couldn't do much because nothing was going on when they came. One of them talked to my dad and the other one talked to my mom and us. There was nothing to really say except that he'd been drinking, he quit his job and whatnot. The cop told us they were going to tell him one of the neighbors heard them yelling and called. Except the other cop told him my brother called, because when they left he started yelling that he's cancelling the insurance on my brothers and my car, and taking away his cell phone. I went outside and talked to Rob for a while because he's pretty much the only person I know who's been through shit like this before. Liz called me and told me to come in, because my dad kept coming upstairs wanting to "talk" to my mom and they were kind of scared.
So I go back in and I sit in my room for a while, my dad keeps coming upstairs and asking my mom to come downstairs so he could talk to her. Why he couldn't talk to her upstairs, I don't know. My mom asked me to sit in her room with her and to try and talk to him next time he came up, thinking he might listen to me. So the next time he came up, he just stands in the doorway staring at my mom, and he was really fucking scary last night, the way he was acting and with the black eye. I said "Dad, come on, it's been a bad night, we all just want to go to sleep now, we can talk in the morning" and then he starts yelling "No, it hasn't been a bad night, but then you guys had to call the fucking cops for no fucking reason, I'm fucking fine, all I want to do is talk to your mother and you guys are sitting in here holding her fucking hostage!!" I was trying to say "Uh, no you're not fine, you're drunk as fuck and take a look at your face" but he kept talking over me and being insane. Honestly I was really scared last night, I was afraid if my mom went downstairs he would hurt her, I was shaking so bad and I had horrible migraine (still do). Usually when he's drunk he's depressing and feeling guilty, but not last night. I was seriously afraid of him. My mom didn't go downstairs though, I was afraid for her if she did, I don't think he wanted to talk, I think he wanted to beat her or something and couldn't do it upstairs because me and Liz were sitting in her room with her. I think he came upstairs once more after that, and after that he would sit downstairs mumbling to himself and randomly yell her name, I fucking jumped out of my skin everytime he did it. Finally around 1:15 or so, he stopped. This was about 2 hours after the cops had came. Oh and then he kept saying he quit his job, if my mom didn't come downstairs he wasn't going back to work on Monday, she could shoulder the load on her own, and he wasn't paying the mortgage anymore and he didn't give a shit if we lost the house and all had to live in a homeless shelter in a few weeks.
Dr Lim came over about an hour ago and tried to discuss some treatment options with him but he wasn't having any of it. My mom came upstairs to tell me to come down but then she'd already left, probably not wanting to waste her time with someone who's not going to take in anything she was saying, and at this point, I can't blame her. I'm just incredibly stressed out right now, I have absolutely no control over this situation, none of us does. I'm worried for my dad, for us, this is just an awful situation...