bleh... just...bleh
gah i finally finished my AP gov. assignment that i neglected to do, i seriously hope that Mr. E accepts it cause i e mailed it to him like a few minutes ago and it is fairly late, although the reason behind this is partly becuase i have seriously spent an hour trying to figure out how to send it to him becuase its kinda funny cause i have articles copied and pasted and it just angreed me becuase i couldne't get it to work after that long, plus i was absent today becuase i was at an ASU tour, so i couldn't relaly hand it in to him neways.
Yea so i dunno, saturday was flipping awsome, as in a TON of good old fashioned Brophy and Salpointe fun, but, i dunno it felt a lil weird at times. I really think i need to get used to this whole danny ebing my boyfriend thing, becuase i constantly have to remind myself that "alex, he is ur boyfriend" and them i just tell myself" uh... its just danny..." and i gt all confused. It was just odd. Its relaly bothering me becuase it makes me feel like me liking him the way i have been thinking i like him is wrong, becuase those are just over extended "friend" feelings, and that bothers me becuase i dont want them to be "friend feelings" and i don't think they are but i cna feel myself talking myself into thinking that they are, holy crap now im confusing myself again.. gah! I dont want to talk to him about it tho becuase he always says that everything is "not a big deal" even when im flipping out about it, so i dont want him to think im obsessing. I know that what we really really need is some SERIOUS one on one time because when we are like alone or just talking to each other the whole friend vibe is gone, but then when you throw a group of people into the mix i get very confused because not only am i getting friend vibes for him but i feel like everyone, him included, is exspecting certain behaviour from me. And then once i think that i can't do anything "girlfriendly" becuase then i feel like im just putting on a show for everyone and that it is fake, and just weird. and gah i dunno. Like, at the dance we held hands, which i was fine with, but then i turn around and i see amber or some1 else looking at us and i freak out and im like gah! no! and i have like this weird [anic thing happening. Maybe its becuase im not used to having my "boyfriend" i've decided that that is a stupid phrase, around with me in my group of friends, i think im just used to having to much space so other people i know observing how i act in a relationship just kinda freaks me out and makes me feel like im drowning. Why am i so melodramatic.. ?? honestly now, who write entire entries dedicated to feeling weird... only me thats who... good grief..
Yea so i dunno, saturday was flipping awsome, as in a TON of good old fashioned Brophy and Salpointe fun, but, i dunno it felt a lil weird at times. I really think i need to get used to this whole danny ebing my boyfriend thing, becuase i constantly have to remind myself that "alex, he is ur boyfriend" and them i just tell myself" uh... its just danny..." and i gt all confused. It was just odd. Its relaly bothering me becuase it makes me feel like me liking him the way i have been thinking i like him is wrong, becuase those are just over extended "friend" feelings, and that bothers me becuase i dont want them to be "friend feelings" and i don't think they are but i cna feel myself talking myself into thinking that they are, holy crap now im confusing myself again.. gah! I dont want to talk to him about it tho becuase he always says that everything is "not a big deal" even when im flipping out about it, so i dont want him to think im obsessing. I know that what we really really need is some SERIOUS one on one time because when we are like alone or just talking to each other the whole friend vibe is gone, but then when you throw a group of people into the mix i get very confused because not only am i getting friend vibes for him but i feel like everyone, him included, is exspecting certain behaviour from me. And then once i think that i can't do anything "girlfriendly" becuase then i feel like im just putting on a show for everyone and that it is fake, and just weird. and gah i dunno. Like, at the dance we held hands, which i was fine with, but then i turn around and i see amber or some1 else looking at us and i freak out and im like gah! no! and i have like this weird [anic thing happening. Maybe its becuase im not used to having my "boyfriend" i've decided that that is a stupid phrase, around with me in my group of friends, i think im just used to having to much space so other people i know observing how i act in a relationship just kinda freaks me out and makes me feel like im drowning. Why am i so melodramatic.. ?? honestly now, who write entire entries dedicated to feeling weird... only me thats who... good grief..