everything changes
I was searching for something in my gmail and stumbled across an old email between Gabe and me, from about the time of my senior prom. It was like reading a conversation between two completely different people.
Well, actually my side sounded like me. Maybe just because it's me and I can't see my own changes as clearly? Mreh.
I was laughing at a few parts... so I shared them with Gabe... and he didn't even look away from his book =/
I guess he's not the reminiscent type... I've done similar things, just thinking up little past events from earlier in our relationship or when we were just friends. I never get a reaction. Sometimes I feel like he's too, perhaps, cold? Not exactly that... I don't know. He's playful and affectionate still, never treats me poorly or ignores my wants/needs. But something else is different. The warmth?
If you don't want to too much information, then stop here... not that it's a lot of information... but we rarely have sex. That in itself doesn't bother me because I'm not exactly climbing the walls. I realize that he's preoccupied with work and other projects. And maybe he's just not that into sex. I can't help but feel like it means something, though. Yes we've discussed it, and concluded that we're just not all that sexual of a couple (at least not now, with us both reoccupied with our projects/school/work/etc.) It's not like I initiate much myself, either. I'm probably just too attached to the idea that something must be wrong if a guy doesn't want any booty. (Stupid past relationships, giving me a biased outlook.) And no, he's not cheating. Trust me on that one.
I know that things tend to change when you've been in a relationship for a while. That warm-n-fuzzy feeling can't last forever. So why does it hurt when it fades away?
Well, actually my side sounded like me. Maybe just because it's me and I can't see my own changes as clearly? Mreh.
I was laughing at a few parts... so I shared them with Gabe... and he didn't even look away from his book =/
I guess he's not the reminiscent type... I've done similar things, just thinking up little past events from earlier in our relationship or when we were just friends. I never get a reaction. Sometimes I feel like he's too, perhaps, cold? Not exactly that... I don't know. He's playful and affectionate still, never treats me poorly or ignores my wants/needs. But something else is different. The warmth?
If you don't want to too much information, then stop here... not that it's a lot of information... but we rarely have sex. That in itself doesn't bother me because I'm not exactly climbing the walls. I realize that he's preoccupied with work and other projects. And maybe he's just not that into sex. I can't help but feel like it means something, though. Yes we've discussed it, and concluded that we're just not all that sexual of a couple (at least not now, with us both reoccupied with our projects/school/work/etc.) It's not like I initiate much myself, either. I'm probably just too attached to the idea that something must be wrong if a guy doesn't want any booty. (Stupid past relationships, giving me a biased outlook.) And no, he's not cheating. Trust me on that one.
I know that things tend to change when you've been in a relationship for a while. That warm-n-fuzzy feeling can't last forever. So why does it hurt when it fades away?