I Feel Like A Bloody Vagina
so im about to embark on my 4th or 5th or maybe even 6th all nighter in the past week or so. days and nights have blended together, time has become both my obsession and a meaningless aspect of life that i must do away with. i was pretty crazy at brunch today, the light was making me feel high. or maybe it was all of the "vitamin a", nodoz, soda, and the lack of sleep that was making me feel that way. i had a great 5 hour nap this afternoon but im still exhausted and the end of my work is nowhere in sight. im really fucking tired of conference papers. i absolutely will finish this one marx/foucault paper tonight, well, my goal is by noon tomorrow. and then i get to take a nap and start on my next conference paper. and then i have a class paper. and a few thought pieces. and at least one worksheet. and then im done.
regardless of where my work is on wed night, im taking the night off and smoking myself into oblivion. i havent smoked in a week and wont be able until then and im gonna buy a whole bunch and sit with one or two other people and smoke until my veins feel like they are on fire. or until i have a seizure. actually, ill probably keep smoking anyway. uggg, i just want to be done. i cant wait to be home in a week, to be done with this semester, to have an awesome christmas, for katie to come out for new years, and for me to go out to chicago for a nice long vacation, and then philly. oh its gonna be a good break.
i also think that, even though it will be like conference time every week for a year, i really want to go to oxford next year. and im going to do everything in my power to make that happen for myself. because im really tired of here right now and anything else, ANYTHING else seems pretty fucking amazing right now. ok i should go back to work.
-dicky bendova
ps- lisa just imed me this and i think it is pretty hilarious: BUD LIGHT PRESENTS: Today we salute you stressed out college student during exam week. As you sit in your lonely cubical in the library, doped up on starbucks & adderall, you think to yourself, am I ever going to need to know this stuff in life? The distractions are tempting and you have suddenly diagnosed yourself with ADD along with advanced delusionary schizophrenia and involuntary narcissistic rage. I'm sure by now you know exactly what everyone is doing because you have checked your buddy list 800 times. Christmas break is just days away, and your Prozac prescription will be in tomorrow. So crack open an ice cold Bud Light after that last exam, because for most of us christmas will be spent in rehab.
regardless of where my work is on wed night, im taking the night off and smoking myself into oblivion. i havent smoked in a week and wont be able until then and im gonna buy a whole bunch and sit with one or two other people and smoke until my veins feel like they are on fire. or until i have a seizure. actually, ill probably keep smoking anyway. uggg, i just want to be done. i cant wait to be home in a week, to be done with this semester, to have an awesome christmas, for katie to come out for new years, and for me to go out to chicago for a nice long vacation, and then philly. oh its gonna be a good break.
i also think that, even though it will be like conference time every week for a year, i really want to go to oxford next year. and im going to do everything in my power to make that happen for myself. because im really tired of here right now and anything else, ANYTHING else seems pretty fucking amazing right now. ok i should go back to work.
-dicky bendova
ps- lisa just imed me this and i think it is pretty hilarious: BUD LIGHT PRESENTS: Today we salute you stressed out college student during exam week. As you sit in your lonely cubical in the library, doped up on starbucks & adderall, you think to yourself, am I ever going to need to know this stuff in life? The distractions are tempting and you have suddenly diagnosed yourself with ADD along with advanced delusionary schizophrenia and involuntary narcissistic rage. I'm sure by now you know exactly what everyone is doing because you have checked your buddy list 800 times. Christmas break is just days away, and your Prozac prescription will be in tomorrow. So crack open an ice cold Bud Light after that last exam, because for most of us christmas will be spent in rehab.