Steve Rogers meets Lady Gaga.
Title: Disco Stick.
Rating: Not too high.
Pairng: None
Notes: I hate that I got a bunny for this. This is un-betaed and is pure crack.
He was never going to live it down, he could sense it. Hell, Natasha wasn’t about to let him live it down, let alone Tony. The humiliation had been the worst he had ever faced - and that included dancing around onstage in tights. And to compound matters, not only had the most awkward moment of his life happened whilst he was surrounded by people, it had also been broadcast on news channels around the world.
When Fury (because he didn’t particularly feel like showing respect and calling him the Colonel), had suggested his attendance at the Video Music Awards he had been less than thrilled. However, despite his protests - and there were many - he had been forced to go along with the plan. The reasoning behind his presence at the awards show had quite escaped him, but apparently it was something to do with the public’s opinion of him, and the need for him to demonstrate that he was a modern American.
Considering the mass media had been speculating on his heritage since his first re-appearance he couldn’t see that it would make that much difference. Hell, most of the media outlets had already reported that he had been suspended in some sort of cryogenic state - which was far more glamorous than the truth but not entirely inaccurate. Nevertheless, Fury maintained that for the preservation of his real identity it would be prudent for him to attend the show (in his uniform of course, like that wasn’t embarrassing enough), and allow the public to see that he was a modern
man, interested in modern things.
Not for the first time, modern logic had completely baffled Steve.
So, that was how he, along with Tony and Thor had ended up walking up the red carpet event. Tony, of course loved it, and Thor, well Thor had no understand of social etiquette so he didn’t even notice that he was being laughed at by a large number of the photographers. Irony, Steve knew, was quite lost on the demi-God.
He didn’t have that luxury of ignorance and all of the questions had made him both blush and cringe at the same time. “Does the suit ever come off?” Had been a very popular question and he had been touched inappropriately by several of the interviewers on the carpet (as well as one man, which was... an experience), so he wasn’t in a particularly great mood when he settled down to watch the show. Especially because it was so damn hot in the auditorium and his suit was not particularly breezy.
And then it had happened.
Honestly, if someone had asked him before the awards show he would have guessed that the worst thing that would happen was that he would trip on the carpet, or he (or more likely Thor) would accidently release his real name. But he had been so very wrong, and even the thought about it made him feel slightly queasy.
She had been lowered down onto the stage dressed in what he could only describe as her underwear, with her hair a bizarre mix of white-blond and black as masked and also barely clothed dancers crawled their way out of what looked like plant pots. The spectacle was by far and away the oddest thing he had ever seen. She marched across the stage, her shoes missing their heels but plat formed at the front she fell down, and for a moment he thought she had actually injured herself, until she started writhing on the floor, singing words that didn’t really make sense to him.
Then she had spotted him, (not that it was difficult to when he was sat in the front row wearing his bright suit because apparently it was important to everyone that he was seen to be a part of this spectacle) he had tried to avoid eye contact instinctively. Apparently though, his embarrassment was of no consequence to the devil woman because she had come strutting over with all the confidence afforded to a woman in complete control of her sexuality - which would have been embarrassing enough for him without what followed next.
In moves reminiscent of ones he had not seen outside of the strip club Tony had forced him to go to, she had slid onto his lap and began grinding against his crotch as she belted out lyrics he had long since stopped listening to. He had felt his face redden, and even when he had tried to push her off him she had ground down further into his crotch, and he had reacted by closing his eyes - lost in the moment.
The laughter from the crowd had echoed in around his head and on either side of him his team mates had joined in with equal amusement. All he had been able to think about was just how hard he was going to hit Fury when he finally escaped her clutches. His suit had grown tighter and tighter and she had let a laugh drop into the lyrics, obviously aware of the effect she was having. When she had moved to rejoin her dancers onstage he had been left, exposed, for the world to see and he was fairly sure that his face had turned the same red as in his suit.
To make matters the footage had been replayed on every news channel every hour for the following day and to compound his annoyance further, Tony had downloaded the whole thing onto his cell phone and too great pleasure in showing everyone they saw. And then when he had lost his cell (it had taken Steve a full day to acquire the device and flush it down the toilet), he amused himself by singing a nice little ditty to himself that all the other’s (particularly Darcy) seemed to find highly amusing and attempting to re-enact the event.
“Let’s have some fun this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.”
Needless to say, the amusement that the other avengers drew from the joke seemed to be never ending.
Rating: Not too high.
Pairng: None
Notes: I hate that I got a bunny for this. This is un-betaed and is pure crack.
He was never going to live it down, he could sense it. Hell, Natasha wasn’t about to let him live it down, let alone Tony. The humiliation had been the worst he had ever faced - and that included dancing around onstage in tights. And to compound matters, not only had the most awkward moment of his life happened whilst he was surrounded by people, it had also been broadcast on news channels around the world.
When Fury (because he didn’t particularly feel like showing respect and calling him the Colonel), had suggested his attendance at the Video Music Awards he had been less than thrilled. However, despite his protests - and there were many - he had been forced to go along with the plan. The reasoning behind his presence at the awards show had quite escaped him, but apparently it was something to do with the public’s opinion of him, and the need for him to demonstrate that he was a modern American.
Considering the mass media had been speculating on his heritage since his first re-appearance he couldn’t see that it would make that much difference. Hell, most of the media outlets had already reported that he had been suspended in some sort of cryogenic state - which was far more glamorous than the truth but not entirely inaccurate. Nevertheless, Fury maintained that for the preservation of his real identity it would be prudent for him to attend the show (in his uniform of course, like that wasn’t embarrassing enough), and allow the public to see that he was a modern
man, interested in modern things.
Not for the first time, modern logic had completely baffled Steve.
So, that was how he, along with Tony and Thor had ended up walking up the red carpet event. Tony, of course loved it, and Thor, well Thor had no understand of social etiquette so he didn’t even notice that he was being laughed at by a large number of the photographers. Irony, Steve knew, was quite lost on the demi-God.
He didn’t have that luxury of ignorance and all of the questions had made him both blush and cringe at the same time. “Does the suit ever come off?” Had been a very popular question and he had been touched inappropriately by several of the interviewers on the carpet (as well as one man, which was... an experience), so he wasn’t in a particularly great mood when he settled down to watch the show. Especially because it was so damn hot in the auditorium and his suit was not particularly breezy.
And then it had happened.
Honestly, if someone had asked him before the awards show he would have guessed that the worst thing that would happen was that he would trip on the carpet, or he (or more likely Thor) would accidently release his real name. But he had been so very wrong, and even the thought about it made him feel slightly queasy.
She had been lowered down onto the stage dressed in what he could only describe as her underwear, with her hair a bizarre mix of white-blond and black as masked and also barely clothed dancers crawled their way out of what looked like plant pots. The spectacle was by far and away the oddest thing he had ever seen. She marched across the stage, her shoes missing their heels but plat formed at the front she fell down, and for a moment he thought she had actually injured herself, until she started writhing on the floor, singing words that didn’t really make sense to him.
Then she had spotted him, (not that it was difficult to when he was sat in the front row wearing his bright suit because apparently it was important to everyone that he was seen to be a part of this spectacle) he had tried to avoid eye contact instinctively. Apparently though, his embarrassment was of no consequence to the devil woman because she had come strutting over with all the confidence afforded to a woman in complete control of her sexuality - which would have been embarrassing enough for him without what followed next.
In moves reminiscent of ones he had not seen outside of the strip club Tony had forced him to go to, she had slid onto his lap and began grinding against his crotch as she belted out lyrics he had long since stopped listening to. He had felt his face redden, and even when he had tried to push her off him she had ground down further into his crotch, and he had reacted by closing his eyes - lost in the moment.
The laughter from the crowd had echoed in around his head and on either side of him his team mates had joined in with equal amusement. All he had been able to think about was just how hard he was going to hit Fury when he finally escaped her clutches. His suit had grown tighter and tighter and she had let a laugh drop into the lyrics, obviously aware of the effect she was having. When she had moved to rejoin her dancers onstage he had been left, exposed, for the world to see and he was fairly sure that his face had turned the same red as in his suit.
To make matters the footage had been replayed on every news channel every hour for the following day and to compound his annoyance further, Tony had downloaded the whole thing onto his cell phone and too great pleasure in showing everyone they saw. And then when he had lost his cell (it had taken Steve a full day to acquire the device and flush it down the toilet), he amused himself by singing a nice little ditty to himself that all the other’s (particularly Darcy) seemed to find highly amusing and attempting to re-enact the event.
“Let’s have some fun this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.”
Needless to say, the amusement that the other avengers drew from the joke seemed to be never ending.