(no subject)

[bitchhface]

 I feel it All.  The youth of my mind: pink raw, fleshy. soft, impressionable. easily entertained, bouncy like a mattress juggling millions of ideas and dreams, like when i was a child jumping on my freshly made bed.  i dont know why, i feel this surge of refreshment in my revelation on my youth.  sometimes i just feel so bruised and old.  like ive lived too many parts of too many lives to still be so young. to still turn things around.  but i am wrong, i am still able to absord and grow.  i need to get that tattooed somewhere in my brain. remember: change is always possible, brighter futures are always attainable.  i love when i smell the happiness about me; the bittersweet of wine caressing my throat and sharpening my insides, the sound of laughter. it is such an honest emotion, that ripping throat snorting noise.  so organic and seasoned by each induvidual, a song all their own.  i love when i catch myself laughing, uncontrollably.  when time stops and the world transfoms into like a rich acrylic blurred painting, so many hues and shadows of my life, and there i am and my pearly whites are the only thing clear, visible in my mind when i catch my smile, exposed. me. exposed.  and it brightens up my life, the dim shadows and crevises snuggled in the dark are exposed and they look good, it all looks good in the light bright of happiness. of reality.  of truth and honesty. of myself. myself, but not against the world, with the world. we are in on this together, me and the world. both trying for the secret to happiness.  no one is against me. no force is trying to belittle me. except myself.  but you are moldable. changeable. transformable. no need to envy the caterpiller who becomes a beautiful butterfly.
i have it in me
so much nearer home