(no subject)
Character: Anna Kyouyama
Series: Shaman King
Character Age: 14
Canon: Shaman King is a (yet unfinished) manga following the life of one Yoh Asakura, a shaman -- someone who can communicate with spirits. Some shaman, Yoh included, take this ability a step further, using a specific spirit to fight other shaman. It almost makes sense in context, we swear. Yoh's dream is to become the Shaman King, the leader of the shaman world, so that he can live an easy life. The thing is, there's nothing easy about earning the prestigious title -- every 500 years, the strongest shaman in the world duke it out to see who will be the next Shaman King. Shamans are supposed to keep the human world in harmony with the spirit world, but that doesn't keep the tournament free of necrophilia, lolis in medieval torture devices, vivisection, and zombies.
Anna is a traditional itako -- a shaman who can summon spirits that have already passed on to Heaven or Hell. She's also Yoh's fiancee, as arranged by the Asakura family in order to keep the shaman bloodline strong. Anna honestly loves Yoh, though she usually shows it through copious amounts of domestic abuse, insane training schedules, and forcing him and his friends to do the housework while she reads magazines and watches bad daytime television. Anna puts Yoh through "training hell" on a daily basis -- her dream is to become the first lady of the shaman world (the Shaman King's wife) and live an easy life as an inn/onsen mistress, and she won't accept anything less. While Anna is often said to be mature for her age, she's bossy, direct, aloof, opinionated, and has quick temper; she will not hesitate to kick, punch, slap, or even CRUSH THE BALLS of anyone who gets on her bad side. Still, she's very observant, and is always level-headed when it counts, so she's usually the one who launches into the all-revealing bursts of exposition on the situation, whatever it may be.
Sample Post:
Good morning, onsen residents. Consider yourselves evicted! These hot springs now belong to me. Walruses, unpack my bags. And be careful! I didn't bring my authentic medieval thumbscrew all the way to the United States just so you worthless morons could break it. Everyone else, listen up! I was invited here by the Director personally, so I won't stand for any mutiny, whining, or contempt. As she so kindly sent a blank check along with her letter, I've decided to temporarily put aside any suspicions and misgivings I might have had about this pathetic excuse for a vacation spot and work for the greater good.
...By "greater good," I mean the fame and fortune I will earn as Camp Fuck Your Dead's illustrious inn mistress, so don't ask me about your wages -- you have none, unless the nearest bank accepts bruises and broken egos. Understood? Now, onto business. I've given you all one laminated schedule and work division chart. Don't lose it. Gorillas! You will clean the onsen, towel room, and shower area every morning from 3:00 until 5:00. I'll inspect your work at 5:15, and I expect nothing short of perfection. I don't care if you scrub the floor so hard your fingers bleed! Unless, of course, you get blood on the floors, in which case there will be severe consequences. Any monkey business will be met with swift punishment, which, if you would ever like to reproduce, you'd be smart to avoid.
Moving on -- you, white bears. Yes, you! While I monitor the construction of the new inn, your one and only job is to tape Good Morning America, The Real World, Hell's Kitchen, Desperate Housewives, What Not to Wear, and the other 12 programs on this list. A little bird told me you can bring back the dead -- an interesting ability, and one that might come in handy if you think your lack of thumbs is an excuse to be clumsy with the VCR remote. If you miss even a single episode of Dancing With The Stars, I'll make sure you die screaming. Twice.
Last and least, zombies, you'll be doing everything else. Towel distribution, any and all manual labor, errand-running, cooking, tea serving... I think you get the picture. And remember, my orders are absolute. Any slacking off will be met with torture cruel enough to make the leaders of the Spanish Inquisition cringe. Don't think that your rotting state will keep you from feeling pain -- we itako are used to dealing with troublesome dead. Now, all of you! Line up, practice your bows, and repeat after me: Beatings will continue until quality improves. That will be your new mantra for the next two hours. Welcome to Anna's Emergency Crash Course Training Hell! Each of you will take one of these heavy wooden beams, and...
Hm? "Slaveraaaargh," you say? Well. Maybe in your next life you'll consider cremation!
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