Post: S04E04 Katherine is back in town, and she's finally ready to tell the real truth. She's come to claim what is hers and no stupid little vampire doppelganger is going to get in the way.
Katherine/Damon Elena/Damon
Chapter Four
Endings and Beginnings.
As soon as the door was closed, Elena was hit simultaneously by a wave of regret and grief. Oddly enough, it was followed by a very distinct feeling of relief and a sense of weightlessness that was quite unnerving.
She'd done it.
She had finally faced the worst thing she could imagine and she'd managed to do the right thing, without breaking down.
She had; in one fell swoop, admitted both her feelings for Damon and acknowledged that Stefan was no longer her be all and end all. She had faced the fact that what she'd felt was unrealistic; that she'd been clinging to a love that shied away from the things, that it might not have stood up against. Both she and Stefan had refused to let go of feelings that should have been left where they belonged, in the past. And now that she had, it felt nothing short of liberating.
Stefan had never really loved the girl inside of her, he'd loved the ideal of Elena that he saw when he looked at her. The one that made him feel human. And that was okay, because she was brave enough to admit, that she'd been just as guilty of the same wilful blindness.
Now if she could get past the fact, that she'd lost the man she loved because she'd been too stubborn to admit to loving him , she might actually be able to get on with her life, such as it was.
Unfortunately, when it came to Damon, getting over him would probably be as difficult as everything else had been in their relationship.
God, she hated Katherine Pierce. Especially since she couldn't really hate her, not after seeing and hearing what she'd seen tonight.
Katherine really loved Damon, it had been Damon all along and every misery in her doppelgangers life all came down to how she felt about him.
Well Damn! she could so relate to that.
What a little idiot I've been; how did I not see that Stefan wasn't the one anymore.
And speaking of Stefan. Tonight had been an eye opener in more ways than one.
She sighed as she headed towards the parlour and Damon's well stocked bar.
She could practically feel Stefan breathing down her neck and she knew he was most likely organizing his thoughts, undoubtedly lining them up so he could confront her in a calm and rational manner. Stefan didn't do impulsive and passionate, that had always been Damon's shtick.
Christ, how had she never noticed how different they were. She was more like Damon in that. She sighed and poured herself a drink, she had a feeling she was going to need it... and more.
"Okay Stefan, just spit it out. Say whatever's on your mind, so I can get the hell out of here before they decide to come down stairs."
She turned to face him and waited. He didn't disappoint.
Both his expression and tone were contrite as he met her gaze.
"I'm sorry about what I said upstairs, I honestly didn't mean to upset you Elena. Damon just makes me crazy and Katherine... well, Katherine I just want to kill. I know how it probably looked" he offered, his eyes darting away nervously, before coming back to rest on her face. "But you know how Katherine just get's to me. Her and her games, they make me so mad and I don't stop to think, I just react. You know that I love you. That I want to be with you, not Katherine." he smiled tenderly and reached for her hand.
Elena sighed, shook her head and pulled her hand away.
She swallowed the contents of her glass in one gulp and then busied her hands pouring herself a second very large drink, before replying.
"Okay... I'm gonna take a leaf out of Damon's playbook and just call bullshit. So, bullshit Stefan. You were jealous and pissed off, because Katherine did to you, what you were quite happy for her to do to your brother. Nothing in that room tonight; was about me, it was all about Katherine. The only thing I can't quite work out, is whether it's because you really never got over her, or if it's because you can't stand to see someone choose Damon over you. Either way Stefan, regardless of what you say you feel for me, we are finished."
Taking a small sip of her drink, she studied the frown on his face as she thought over the events of the past hour and what they meant in the grand scheme of things.
She should just go, wait until she wasn't so emotional to have this conversation. But the bewilderment in her former boyfriends eyes decided her. He really didn't get what had just happened, what he'd tried to do to Damon. So she decided to tell him.
"You know Stefan, It may have taken me a while and it's way too late, but I realized something tonight. Damon is a way better brother to you... than you've ever been to him."
Holding her glass loosely in one hand, her eyes closed as she reached up with the other and rubbed at her forehead. God, why did this have to be so freaking hard.
Less than an hour ago, she'd been dodging Damon and worrying about what she was going to say the next time she saw him. Now, here she was with Stefan and all she could think about was how angry she was that he'd put her in this position. It was so obvious that he didn't love her, not in the way she'd believed, so why hadn't she seen it?
All the time and tears she'd spent on being his girlfriend and he'd never even loved the real her. She didn't know what Stefan saw when he looked at her, but tonight she'd seen exactly how he felt about Katherine.
Her face softened as she thought of Damon and the way he'd looked at her in the past. The memory of what she'd now lost; dispelling the last of her reservations. She may as well tell Stefan the rest, after all, it was about time that he met the real Elena; the one only Damon had seen.
She took a breath and opened her eyes. Seeing the impatient look on Stefan's face didn't help, so she looked down at her glass instead.
"Okay, I didn't tell you before, because I didn't want you to get upset with me and angry at Damon. But here goes...Damon compelled me, twice. The first time, was the night my parents died... and before you say anything, he could have killed me outright with no repercussions, so don't even go there Stefan." she looked up and glared warningly.
"Instead, he told me he wanted me to get everything I wanted and then had me forget ever meeting him."
She looked back down at her drink. "
"I realize in hindsight, that his behavior that night was because he must have known you had an interest in me. And yes at first, it did seem like he thought I was Katherine. But he was so quick to except that I wasn't, that he must have already known she had a doppelganger in town. Damon would have made it a priority to find out as much as he could about me, as soon as he knew of my existence. And I'd bet anything you like that he knew all about you watching me as well."
She looked up at his disbelieving murmur and stared pointedly, silently daring him to comment aloud.
"Anyway the second time, was the night after you both came and rescued me from Rose and Elijah. He came by to return my necklace and he did return it, but not before telling me he loved me and that he didn't deserve me, but that you did. Don't you see Stefan, a big part of the reason he compelled me to forget his confession was because he loved you, he didn't want to cause you pain. He..."
"He what Elena?" Stefan cut in, finally unable to stay silent.
"Are you going to tell me he was being noble... how... in what way? You weren't his to give up, you were mine," he scoffed heatedly. "He was just being his usual dramatic self, because he couldn't stand the thought that he'd lost another woman to me. It wasn't because he cared about me, it was because he knew he didn't have a hope in hell with you. And you know that."
He crossed his arms and stared at her, as though daring her to contradict him.
She shrugged and made a rude noise. Wow talk about being arrogant, who the hell did he think he was. She crossed her arms and met his glare with her coldest look.
"Okay Stefan, what you said just then, it was way beyond wrong," she stated, her tone glacial. "Firstly, I am not a piece of property, so you can get that 'mine' stuff right out of your head. Secondly, your brother is a gorgeous guy that had already proved that he cared about me. For pete's sake Stefan, he came with you to rescue me and risked his life to do it. And in case you've forgotten, he was the one that actually staked Elijah with that coat rack." She shook her head in disgust.
"I know you don't want to hear this, but I was attracted to him from the moment we met and I'll let you in on a little secret, though I'd bet anything you like, that Damon already knows it."
She smiled tiredly as she thought of how smug Damon would be, if he could hear her right now.
"If Damon had been even the tiniest bit less of a dick... I might not have found it quite so easy to convince myself that it was you I wanted. Seriously Stefan, I know he's your brother, but even you have to admit he's ridiculously hot and can be extremely charming when he wants' to be. I might have been in love with you, but I wasn't blind. And I can admit it now, because it doesn't matter anymore.... I was very tempted, way more than even Damon knew. Fortunately for you, he kept doing asshole things that allowed me to rein it in."
She smirked, an expression that Stefan found eerily familiar.
"Anyway all this is water under the bridge. I've blown it with Damon and I'm going to have to live with that, just like you're going to have to accept that you and I are finished."
Her smile turned wistful as she studied Stefan's face.
"I'm a vampire now and I have eternity, so eventually we can probably salvage a friendship out of this, but at the moment, after your performance upstairs..." She brought her glass to her mouth, pausing, a considering expression on her face as she spoke.
"Well, to be honest, I really don't want to see you any time soon. I'm too mad with myself for wasting my time and my feelings on someone that never really got me. Vampire or human. So I'm going to finish," she waggled her drink, "this glass of Damon's favourite, very very expensive bourbon and then I'm going home to cry into my pillow."
She shot him a determined look.
"And Stefan, don't even bother trying to change my mind. It's not going to happen. And while we're on the subject of changing minds... Leave your brother and Katherine alone. let him be happy for once and be the man I know you want to be, not the one I saw upstairs."
With those last words she downed the rest of her drink, pecked him on the cheek and left the house with vampire speed.
By the time Stefan's brain caught up with everything she'd said, she was long gone, and even Stefan knew when to admit defeat. At least for now.
Pouring a drink of his own, he turned drink in hand and headed up to his room to do some thinking of his own.
Damon was oddly quiet after Stefan and Elena left the bedroom. Katherine knew that everything she'd said had to have come as a shock, but she was crawling out of her skin waiting for him to give her an answer.
Truthfully, he was both confused and angry. He was also shocked and resentful and really really tired. He'd had a very long and emotionally exhausting day and that was before Katherine had turned up.
He knew Katherine was waiting for him to answer her earlier question, but every time he tried to gather his thought's and formulate some semblance of a reply, the unreality of the whole situation kept hitting him.
Less than two hours ago; was it really only two hours? He'd been resigned to the fact that he'd probably be better off if he left Mystic Fall's. He'd known without a doubt in his mind, that Elena would never love him the way he wanted and that staying in town would mean watching her slowly destroy herself, while he stood by helpless to fix things. Unwanted by yet another woman, for anything other than the occasional use of extra muscle; Damon had been on the verge of finally calling the town, his brother and Elena quits.
Katherine's appearance had thrown him for an unexpected loop. His decision to sleep with her; at first, just another symptom of the rapidly growing self destructive streak, that he' seemingly acquired since returning home to the town of his birth.
He'd known from the first moment that he'd given in to his desire, that sleeping with Katherine would only hurt him in the long run and quite possibly even sooner. But she had looked so much like Elena and acted so unlike the Katherine he'd come to hate, that he'd found he didn't have the will to resist. And yeah, maybe a small part of him had needed to just feel wanted; even if it was only for his body. In that moment he could pretend; to himself at least, that Katherine was with him because she really wanted to be.
And now his whole world view had been set on its ass.
The inescapable truth of Damon's existence had and always would be, that he would always come in second to his brother. Desired but never loved, needed but never wanted; that had been his life ever since he realized that Katherine had never been in the tomb. Loving Elena had been just another cross to bear; one that he'd taken up gladly, but without any real hope of her ever being his.
Then Stefan had gone to ask Klaus for that damn cure and it had changed everything.
Suddenly, being around Elena became a necessity that he couldn't avoid and it had only intensified the feelings, ones that he'd been trying; on the whole, to ignore. They had grown closer while looking for Stefan and Elena's black and white view of the world had changed, as had her feelings for Damon.
They'd both done their best to ignore them, but inside of Damon something had shifted and he'd found himself cursed with sudden hope. Then after months of uncertainty, frustration and the see saw of; will she won't she, Elena had chosen his brother yet again. And of course, it only made sense in his fucked up existence, that having made the decision she'd go and get herself turned into a vampire and complicate his life all over again.
In his mind he'd been packed and ready; waiting for the inevitable and determined to honour he and his brothers agreement. He should have known that her becoming a vampire would screw it all up. She had needed him, but nothing had really changed, it was still all about Stefan.
Now out of the blue, everything he knew to be fact had turned out to be the complete opposite. Katherine Pierce loved him, she was in love with Him; he was the only one she wanted and she had told his brother as much. And right to his self righteous bunny eating face, at that.
He tried the words out in his head just to see how they'd feel.
Katherine is in love with me, she doesn't want Stefan, she never loved Stefan.
Yeah...well, that's not getting any less weird anyway I look at it.
And then, just to confuse matters even more, Elena had picked tonight to have some sort of epiphany. Though what the fuck that was all about, he hadn't quite worked out yet.
He sighed and closed his eyes wearily.
They opened seconds later when he felt Katherine's tiny hand stroke his chest. Glancing down at the woman that was still nestled in to his side, he was struck by the change in her face. The hard look that she'd always carried was gone, replaced by a look of concern and more than a little trepidation. Then there was the love.
Katherine's eyes shone with it. She was looking at him with an expression he'd only ever seen on Elena's face and then only directed towards his brother. To be honest, it was so unexpected that Damon didn't know what to do with it.
So he leaned down and kissed her.
Notes:
This fic is part of my cathartic need to vent after the events of episode 4.4. The out come will depend entirely on reviews.
I have two more chapters to post and the fourth chapter will be written when and if I get enough responses, enabling me to decide the readers preferred ending.
So review and let me know... I'm curious to see where this fic is going to end up.