Chapter 3: This is Not a love story.

[bitcheesquared]

Post: S04E04 Katherine is back in town, and she's finally ready to tell the real truth. She's come to claim what is hers and no stupid little vampire doppelganger is going to get in the way.


Elena froze and clutched Stefan's arm. Her heart stuttered in her chest, as she took in the tender look on Damon's face. Tenderness that for once , was not for her.

Of course, the look changed rapidly as he met her eyes.

Her heart froze, as he seemed to dismiss her presence without even a flicker of emotion before turning his gaze back to his brother.

"Jesus Stefan, why don't you sell tickets. It's like grand central station in here. Are Blondie and Judgy gonna come bursting in too, or is this some new couple bonding thing you two have going?"

Katherine snickered and Damon couldn't help giving her an affectionate little squeeze. He didn't know what the fuck was going on in her head, but at the moment, he was just grateful that she appeared to be on his side.

Stefan remained oblivious to his girlfriends presence, he hadn't taken his eyes off Katherine and Damon since they had ended their kiss.

He felt like he'd been dropped into some weird alternate reality.

What the hell was going on, why was Katherine acting like this? She'd told him that she loved him; that it was him that she'd always wanted, so what sort of game was she playing with Damon and why.

"Okay Katherine you've had your fun. How about we all go downstairs and talk. You can tell me why you really came back and maybe Damon and I can help." He met her gaze expectantly; sure that at any moment, she'd toss Damon one of her pitying looks and confess her real reasons for being here.

Stefan was about to be very disappointed.

"God Stefan! Were you always this much of an asshole, or have you just had a lot of practice while I was gone." Her voice was sweet, but her expression was openly contemptuous , as she met her former lovers eyes.

Reaching down she found Damon's hand and clasped it in her own.

Okay Kat, time to finally tell the truth and nothing but the truth, she thought, with a grimace.

Determination settled on her features, even as she tried to rein in her worry about everyone's reactions to what she was about to reveal, especially Damon's.

Stefan meanwhile, felt his jaw tick in reaction to her words, but before he could say anything in his defense, Katherine started speaking again.

"First up, just let me say... I can't believe you two fell for the bull I fed you the last time I was in town. Even Elena realized that Damon meant more to me than I let on, and she was a fucking human." she rolled her eyes at Elena's snarl.

"Settle down there little girl, I'm a pretty comfortable at the moment, but that won't stop me from snapping your neck and leaving you in the tub while the grownups talk. I have some things to say and you're all going to hear them, though I had planned on getting a lot more reacquainted with my man, before I saw you two."

She flashed Damon a smirk, and put her fingers over his mouth before he had the chance to react to her words.

"Okay, Damon, here it is..." She took a deep breath.

"First, I want to apologize to you for lying to you. I told you it was Stefan that I loved ,not you and it wasn't true. I love you Damon, it was always you." She didn't even bother to look in Stefan's direction as she spoke, and not even Elena's sharp gasp pulled her eyes away from Damon's.

"The truth is...The only reason, your brother even had vampire blood in his system when he died, was that I knew how much you cared about him and I knew you were going to need those ties after I left . And before you start rolling your eyes and scoffing, just let me explain."

When he frowned in annoyance at her words, she waited a beat before continuing. She needed him to listen. Their whole future depended on it.

"When I first came to Mystic Falls in 1864, I was on the run from Klaus, which you now know. What you don't know, is that Elijah had people watching me constantly and that he had decided, that it was a far more fitting punishment for me to never have, what he couldn't have from me. I did care about him in my own way, but I didn't love him and he never forgave me for that. Anyway, after I betrayed Klaus and got myself turned, Elijah couldn't bring himself to kill me, or turn me over to Klaus. Unfortunately, he also decided that if he couldn't have my heart, then no one else would."

Katherine bowed her head for a moment before continuing.

"Before I came to Mystic Falls, he had already killed at least three of my lovers." she looked up and met Damon's eyes again. "So when I met you I knew that feeling anything for you, would mean signing your death warrant." She sighed and turned to face the other two vampires.

Stefan looked stunned and Elena looked equal parts horrified and upset.

"Damon doesn't know this, but the first time I laid eyes on him, I knew he was the one I wanted to spend my eternity with. And yes, I had already met Stefan, but honestly... he was a child compared to Damon. Sleeping with Stefan was wrong, but it was also the only way I could have Damon".

She glared at Stefan as he snorted his disbelief. Squeezing Damon's hand in warning, she shot him a pleading look before continuing.

"You see, I knew from experience that Elijah would assume I was only toying with them if I seemed to be playing with both. He'd never minded me taking my pleasure where I could... it was only my emotional attachments that he objected to."

Her chuckle was bitter and her eyes were sad as she remembered.

"In any case, by the time I moved to mystic Falls, I'd learned to either avoid, or at least mask any true emotion I might have for my bed partners. And the best way to do that, was to have more than one". She reached up and stroked Damon's cheek.

"God Damon, if you had known just how terrified I was that Elijah would find out that I loved you... you would have run a mile. I had to put on the act of my life to keep it from him, not even Emily knew the truth; though I think she may have suspected, just before the end. Anyhow... after I faked my death and disappeared, I spent the next Seventy six years trying to find a way for us to be together. But every lead I ran down, every scenario I tried, all would have ended up with you dead. And there was also the little fact that I was still hiding from Klaus. Of course I realized eventually, that Elijah must have been keeping track of me through my witches, but that wasn't until years after Emily's death.

Her eyes were lost in the past, thinking of all the times she'd thought she was safe, when really, Elijah had been only a step away.

"I hated what I did to you, back then. Letting you think that I had been playing with you both was horrible and not being able to tell you I was alive was worse. And then the comet came and Emily's stupid spell pulled you back to Mystic Falls and I knew it was only a matter of time before you found out I was alive."

Damon was glad he was lying down. If he hadn't been, it could have gotten embarrassing. Katherine's out of the blue confessions had left him speechless and confused. And judging by the look on his brothers face; just as stunned as Stefan. Strangely, Elena looked upset; which he'd ponder later, when he wasn't on the verge of either laughing his ass off, or crying like a big girl.

Stefan pulled his arm from Elena's grasp and advanced on the couple in the bed.

"Okay then, If you love Damon so much, then why the fuck tell me it was all about me. Why push him away and tell him you loved me, why try to get me to sleep with you every chance you got, and what was all that in the tomb?"

His lip curled back in a sneer.

"C'mon Katherine, explain to me why you didn't tell him the dagger would kill him if he staked Elijah. Why fuck with his head so publicly and so cruelly if he was the one you really loved. You could have just blown into town and swept him off his feet. it's not like he wouldn't have forgiven you. He's Damon after all. He was always your sad pathetic puppy dog, I'm sure it wouldn't have taken much on your part to convince him."

Damon cringed internally and waited for her reply, as curious to hear her explanation as Stefan, but determined not to let anything show.

Unexpectedly it was Elena that spoke up.

"Stefan! Stop it, how could you talk about your brother like that. Katherine's right, you're being an asshole. Damon wouldn't have done that, he loves you and he wouldn't have left you to deal with the shit that was going on, not just to get back together with Katherine. How could you even think that?"

It was a toss up who was more shocked by Elena's defense, Stefan or Damon. Katherine was the only one not at all surprised. After all, she knew intimately how hard it was not to care about Damon Salvatore, never mind loving him. And Elena Gilbert might be the champion of the world when it came to denial, but even Katherine could admit that when it came to loyalty and honesty where her family and loved ones were concerned, Elena didn't pull any punches.

She chuckled and nodded approvingly at her doppelganger.

"She's right, not that I owe you any explanation Stefan; because I believe I made it crystal clear that this is definitely Not about you. But I do owe your brother one."

She turned to face Damon, regret clear in her gaze.

"I acted the way I did for two reasons. The most obvious being; that as long as Elijah thought I was pinning for your brother and dismissive of you he would leave you alive. So that meant everyone had to believe it was Stefan that I wanted and that meant selling it to you both. If Elijah had doubted for even a moment, he would have compelled the truth from one or both of you, so it had to be convincing. Everything I said, all the crap I fed Stefan when we were locked in the tomb, all of it was to make sure you would be safe."

Her expression was pleading as she continued to speak.

"Don't you see Damon, Elijah was fine with me loving Stefan, it was just another form of punishment for not being able to love him. He knew Stefan didn't want me, that as long as he had Elena he would never admit to loving me. And that kept Stefan safe. My loving you had to be unthinkable to ensure your survival." She shot a glance at Elena. "It's ironic, that the only person who came close to seeing the truth, was both my doppelganger and my rival."

Her eyes were harder as she met his again.

"And that fact relates directly to the second if I'm being honest. I was a complete bitch to you, probably more than was needed because I was hurt and jealous." she scowled at him fiercely her eyes flashing with anger as she spoke.

"I was back in town for barely a minute and the man I loved was kissing me because he thought I was someone else. I'd planned and plotted and suffered a hundred and forty five years; dreaming of the day when I'd be free of Klaus and Elijah so I could be with him and he'd fallen in love with my fucking doppelganger. I'm a vampire Damon, and a selfish one at that, I was fucking pissed and wanted to hurt you, okay."

She turned her head away, the emotion of her confession overwhelming her. When she looked back up her eyes were blood filled, the telltale veins around her eyes prominent.

"I knew, as soon as you kissed me that night, that I'd lost you. I knew that nothing I could say or do would make any difference. I'd waited too long, been to cautious, hurt you too much. You loved Elena and I was probably going to watch you get killed, trying, to protect her. And It didn't help that I had Isobel saying I told you so, either."

She visibly tried to get control of her anger, as she looked away from the man who was still holding her.

"As for the dagger, I made a stupid mistake. I didn't think Damon would be the one to use it. Especially not after I was the one who told him about it. I thought it would be one of the humans, or even Stefan. I never expected Damon to do it. I figured he be suspicious of my motives and that he'd know Elijah would be on his guard around him of all people. I'll admit I screwed up, but to be fair, I was still pretty fucking mad over the whole Elena thing."

She looked at Damon apologetically her expression softening.

"I really didn't want you to die. And that stuff I said to you that night at the house, when you offered to just up and leave if I said I loved you... Well Elena knows you better than you think. You might have convinced yourself that you could go, just pick up where we left off, but I knew differently Damon. You loved both of them too much to do that to them and if you had come with me, you would have ended up hating me for it. So I lied to your face, because I was hurt and because I still wasn't free to be with you. I convinced myself that it didn't matter, that the only important thing was getting the moonstone and handing it over so I could be free."

Her eyes shone with tears and emotion as she stared up into his face.

"I'd loved you so much and everything I'd done up to that point had been about having a life with you. But I didn't want to be your second choice, so I convinced myself that it was best for all of us, if I stuck to the plan and let you go on thinking that I didn't care."

She blinked away the tears that had formed in her eyes. The emotions stirred up by her confession threatening to overwhelm her again.

"I've spent so many years wearing the mask, that sometimes I forget the reasons I put it on in the first place; sometimes even I give in and switch it all off. I've had to, to survive as long as I have. But right here and right now I'm throwing all the masks away and begging you Damon. Please please forgive me. I love you, it's always been you from that first moment, and it will probably be you until the day someone stakes me." She reached up and cupped his cheek with one hand, her thumb stroking his cheekbone caressingly.

"I'm not asking for you to love me again, not right now, I'm just asking for you to give this thing between us a chance. I've spoken to Elijah and he's changed Damon. What Klaus did to him and his siblings has made him see things differently. He knows I love you and he's agreed to leave us alone." she smiled at him, hope and love clear in her eyes.

"Even if he hadn't, I think I still would have risked it. I've been alone so long and missed you so much and after seeing you again with Elena and seeing what you do for those you love, I knew I couldn't wait any more. I had to tell you, you had to know... even if it is too late. Please, I have to know, can we try again, is it really too late for us?"

Before Damon could even form a response to Katherine's bombshell; not that he had any idea how to respond, he was interrupted by Stefan's mocking laughter.

"Unfuckingbelievable. So everything you said to me was a lie? All of this was for Damon. Yeah right, Katherine. How fucking stupid do you think we are. I don' t know what you're up to, or what you really want but I don't believe a word of it. You're just tryi..."

"SHUT UP." Elena yelled rushing forward and grabbing her boyfriends arm. Yanking him around to face her she shoved him with both hands. He flew back into the wall and barely managed to stay standing.

"Stop Stefan, just stop! I believe every word she said. Katherine is telling you the truth and you really are a freaking idiot if you can't see it. I can see how much she loves him. Just look in her eyes... a blind man could see it."

Her eyes met Katherine's in total understanding before focusing again on Stefan.

"She's being honest for the first time ever and you will not take this away from your brother. This is about him, not you. Look at her, really look at her. " "My God, she's just like him."Elena gasped, trying not to give in to her own despair

"She's been and done what she needed to be, to protect what she loves, and you really can't stand that Damon is the one she's done it for, can you?"she spat out.

Her fists were clenched at her sides and her eyes were black with anger as she met Stefan's shocked expression.

"I love you Stefan but sometimes I really don't like you very much. And-and you know what." her eyes darted to Katherine's, before returning to his.

"Since it seems to be the day for clearing the air and being honest, I'm gonna get with the program. She took a deep breath.

"I do love you, but after seeing Katherine and hearing what she had to say, it made me face things I didn't want to face. I may still love you, but I am not in love with you... not anymore, and I'm pretty sure you aren't in love with me, either."

She held her hand up as he looked like speaking . "No, I'm not finished talking, just shut up for once and actually listen to me." she ordered.

"You wanna know why I believe Katherine, how I know she's telling the truth Stefan? I believe her, because I recognize that look in her eyes, it's the same look I have, whenever I look in the mirror after I've been with Damon." She shot out a short bitter laugh and shook her head.

"And the final fucking irony of this whole thing is, that it took seeing it on her face, for me to finally recognize what I've been too afraid to admit, because I'm a fucking stupid coward. I've messed everything up and you know what." she shook her head wonderingly.

"Ultimately, It doesn't matter. I Love Damon and it's because I love him, that I can't be selfish, I don't deserve him... but Katherine does, and that's the simple truth." She bit her lip and forced back the tears, determined to get through this without breaking down in front of them all.

" Now, you and I," her fingers circled his wrist and squeezed warningly " are going to leave these two alone to work out things out, because both of us, have hurt him way too much and we owe it to him to respect his space and his decisions. And you will not interfere, in any way. Do you understand me Stefan? "

She stared hard at him, before turning and facing Damon's stunned expression; knowing that he would have recognized the echo of his own words in hers.

"I'm so sorry Damon, you really do deserve everything you ever wanted, and I'm so happy that you are finally going to get it. Stefan loves you and after he's done being an enormous ass, I'm sure he'll come and apologize, so don't be too mad at him. You and I have spent so much time making it about him, protecting him from himself and then from the way I felt about you, that it's gonna take him a little adjustment. He'll get used to it, because you're his brother and you deserve to be happy, and no matter what he thinks he wants right now, deep down where it counts he loves you."

She raised her chin, squared her shoulders and did the only thing she could do... with her next words she let Damon go.

"So we're gonna go now and I'll see you in a few days, or I won't, I'll leave that up to you. And if you do decide to leave without saying goodbye. I'll understand. As long as you are safe and happy, that's all that counts, okay."

She turned to Katherine and locked eyes with her.

"Look after him for us, will you. And try to resist the temptation to kill him. I'd hate to have to track you down and stake you because you offed him in a moment of temper." She smiled wistfully. "Just be good to each other and promise me you'll bring him back to visit sometime. I'm glad you love him Katherine... I'm glad he has someone who loves him that much. Don't let him screw it up." she said fiercely.

"Come on Stefan." she ordered, opening the door. "Let's leave the two of them alone."

Glancing back once more as she left the room, Elena did her best not to burst into tears.

"Goodbye Damon... I'll see you... sometime." and with those words she closed the bedroom door behind her and her boyfriend? leaving Damon alone with the only woman, who really deserved his forgiveness.

So!... Katherine or Elena? What did you think of Kat's confession? And who want's more smut?

Review review review...