(no subject)
Finally!
Title: Please Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys.
Author: bitchandjerk
Characters: Sam/Dean,John/Mary/OFC OMCs OFCs Jared/Jensen,
Rating :R
Words10,000/3,538,900
Warnings: Wincest
Summary: Sam and Dean take Buster in for his two month checkup .
Notes:: AU, rest are here.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.
Feedback: Makes me hard
Because Buster had been born so early Sam had prepared himself for the possibility of a lifetime of complications, setbacks, and unbelievable stress. He thought that Buster would most likely be blind and deaf, he might have some developmental delays, and that he might never be like the rest of the kids. As it turned out Sam was only right on one count because his sweet browned eyed baby boy was completely unique, absolutely individual, and couldn't have been more different from his assorted siblings.
On Wednesday morning Sam was sitting on a fire truck with Buster in this arms while Dean paced and picked at his nails with his teeth. Sam had broken him of his nasty nail biting habit, but Dean still picked with his teeth, a habit that was apparently unbreakable. It went hand in hand with the pacing, which was driving Sam absolutely crazy. He thought about saying something or recommending that Dean take a seat, but he kept quiet and gently rocked Buster in his arms while they waited.
When the door finally opened it was like someone had injected a pot of extra strength coffee directly into Dean's blood stream. He was rattling off about a noise Buster was making, which Sam thought was digestion, Dean was concerned about a spot he saw, which was obviously a very tiny patch of diaper rash, and of course there was the major issue. Dean was absolutely positive that Buster was sick with some mysterious illness that had absolutely no symptoms or side effects, but it was most certainly fatal if not treated promptly, which Sam wasn't even entertaining.
"What do you mean?" Nick asked. "Does he have a fever?"
"No."
"Is he eating?"
"A lot."
"Change in bowel movements?"
"Not exactly." Dean said. "I just…"
"Nothing's wrong with him, Nick. Nothing."
"It's Dr. Hudson." Nick said as he lowered his glasses. "Let me take a look at him and…Oh, God!"
"What!" Dean yelled. "What is it! Is he dying!"
"No, he just misses his uncle Nick! Come here, cutie! How are you two months old already!"
Dean grabbed at his chest and dramatically fell into the wall while gasping for air. Nick, the only medical doctor in the room, completely ignored him and Sam did the same. Buster's two month checkup was scheduled for about three weeks and the closer it got the crazier Dean got. He was worried about bumps and mumps, measles and attacks by weasels as well of political strife at home and abroad. Sam wasn't worried about much except for the vaccinations because he didn't want his sweet baby to get poked in the equally sweet butt.
Buster's exam started off like everyone else's had. He was exactly nineteen inches long and weighed in at a hefty twelve pounds and change which seemed to make Nick very happy. Dean promptly began to hyperventilate again, but Sam was pretty sure he wasn't even paying any real attention to what Nick was doing to Buster. He didn't have a fever, he wasn't developing a flat spot, and he had no visible health concerns. Sam already knew all of that so he wasn't surprised, what he didn't know, and wasn't really worried about was whether Buster could see and hear.
Dean, for no other reason than needing something to worry about, had become very concerned with Buster's vision and hearing. Just last night Dean kept clapping at him until Buster began to cry and once he calmed down daddy brought out his special friend Mr. Flashlight, which also caused a bout of crying. Buster recognized loud noises, they woke him up sometimes and he certainly knew when someone was talking to him. When confronted with toys he followed them, he was a bit slow at following them, but Sam was pretty sure that had more to do with him being two months old and not with any vision problems.
"How's he sleeping?"
"Less during the day." Sam said. "Then when he goes to bed at night we get about six hours before he wakes up for a snack and a diaper change and then another four hours."
"That's pretty good. How's tummy time?"
"He's pushing up some." Dean nodded. "On his forearms, but then he gets scared because that's so high up for him. We come from a long line of short yet distinguished gentlemen."
"Does he seem alert when you're talking to him? Does he follow your voice?"
"Yes."
"But he's not really quick about it."
"Dean." Sam sighed. "You yelled at him and then threw a football across the room. That's too fast for him."
"He's blind isn't he?"
"No." Nick laughed. "He's a baby. A baby that's doing remarkable well considering he's still five weeks away from his due date. Honestly, when he was born I thought he'd still be in the hospital by this time. Can you take a couple of big boy breaths for me? No? Well, just breathe then. That's a good boy."
While Nick listened to Buster's healthy Winchester lungs Dean shot Sam a nervous glance. Nick knew nothing of demons, angels, or Gods and that was how Sam thought they should keep it. As a doctor he was incredibly skeptical about any miracle that had happened. Bruce was as well and he had the whole story, but he was remaining very cautious and had chosen blissful ignorance. Unfortunately Nick apparently wasn't going to be as accommodating.
"How are his lungs?" Dean asked. "Can he blow a house down?"
"His lungs sound perfect."
"Did you hear that, baby! You're perfect!"
"He is." Nick smiled. "He's a little short, but that's to be expected."
"Because he was premature?"
"Yeah." Nick said quickly. "Let's go with that. Anyway, he's doing extremely well."
"Good." Sam said. "He's such a good baby too."
"He seems like it." Nick said as he began to undress Buster. "He shouldn't be doing this well though. Trust me, I'm overjoyed he is, but he shouldn't be."
"Why not?" Dean asked. "He's taken very good care of."
"It's not that, Dean. He's meeting his milestones like he was born full term. Normally we don't expect premature babies to make much progress at all until their due date. He's way ahead of schedule."
"I read to him a lot and we did a lot of therapy."
"Uh…" Sam said before attempting to change the subject. "What are we doing today?"
"Six vaccinations and we'll draw a little blood. I promise it won't hurt, handsome!"
"Blood?"
"Mmhmm. Let's make sure there's nothing else going on."
Buster was down to his diaper which Nick removed and then tossed in the trash since their was a little bit of tinkle in it. While Dean cleaned him up Nick checked every inch of Buster's skin, made sure his butt was extra bubbly, and after taking a friendly suggestion he poked him in the acorns, or rather where the acorns would eventually be. Sam watched everything and Nick did exactly what he had done to Milo two years ago, with the exception of drawing blood. Sam wanted to say something but he wasn't sure what to say and luckily for him a knock came at the door before Nick could do anything besides poke Buster in the raisins.
"How's our second favorite patient ever?"
"Second?" Dean asked. "He's clearly superior to every other baby in the world, just look at his cinnamon swirl hair!"
"My son begs to differ." Bruce said as he picked up a clipboard. "How's he doing?"
"Fine." Nick said. "I can handle it, I…"
"Why are you drawing blood?"
"I just want to be extra cautious with him because he was so early."
"I think a finger prick might suffice." Bruce suggested. "What are you worried about?"
"Infection."
"Is he sick?"
"No." Sam said. "He's fine."
"Better safe than sorry. Who's going to hold the little guy?"
"Uh…"
"Oh….uh…"
"Come here baby." Bruce said as he picked him up. "It'll be over before you know it. Don't pee on me. This shirt is Prada. Uncle Anthony is a movie star!"
While Bruce held Buster close and stroked his hair Nick went from chubby cheek to chubby cheat administering the vaccinations. Dean had his fingers in his ears while he hid in a corner, but Sam stayed close and whispered to Buster to make sure he stayed calm. When the first needle went in his eyes went wide and he began to gum his bottom lip. The second needle made his big brown eyes water, and the third pushed him over the edge. He began to sob and wail, but Nick was fast and just thirty seconds later Buster was back in Sam's arms crying directly in his ear which was the saddest and cutest sound in the world.
"You did so good, buddy." Bruce said. "He'll be a little sore."
"Shh, it's okay, baby. You are a brave little toaster-man."
"Is he done!" Dean yelled from the corner. "He's crying!"
"Almost."
Before Sam or Bruce could say anything Nick pricked Buster's finger and got a few drops in a little glass vial. Buster whimpered some, but then he immediately calmed down when Sam told him they were done bothering him. He was still sort of sniffling when Dean came over to check on him and give him lots of kisses for being brave. While Sam rubbed Buster's cute little butt he kept an eagle eye on Nick who made a few notes and then slipped the vial of blood into his pocket, which was about the most suspicious thing he could have done.
"So, what's the blood for?"
"I just think it's smart to screen it. Don't you agree Bruce?"
"Couldn't hurt."
"It hurt Buster." Sam said. "He wasn't crying for the hell of it, I…"
"I got it." Dean said as he reached in Sam's pocket. "It's Jared. He can wait."
Nick used the ringing phone as a diversion. He kissed Buster on the back of the ear and then rushed out of the room leaving Bruce in charge. There was nothing else to do, but Sam was still glad Bruce was there. He was thinking about drilling him for information while Dean got Buster dressed, but then his phone rang again and he thought it was rude to ignore two calls in a row.
"Jared?" Sam said as he answered the phone. "Is everything okay?"
"We need you."
"Me?"
"You and Dean. Janie called us, she's on her way to the hospital. The baby's coming."
"Oh, shit."
"What is it?" Dean asked. "What happened?"
"Jared, it's going to be okay just get a cab and meet her at the hospital."
"And you'll meet us?"
"Absolutely. We'll drop Buster off with dad and meet you there."
"Sam, our parents really wanted to…"
"Say no more." Sam smiled. "They'll be there as soon as possible. I'll see you in a little bit, okay?"
"Thank you."
"No problem." Sam said as he closed his phone. "Baby Acklecki!"
"No!" Dean gasped. "She's early!"
"She's almost thirty-seven weeks." Sam said as he grabbed the baby bag. "Dean, meet me in the car. I've gotta make some calls."
"Go, go! We're right behind you! I'm going to be an uncle!"
"Dude!" Bruce said. "I'm standing right here!"
"Yes, you are!"
While Bruce pleaded his very convincing case that Dean was in fact already an uncle Sam rushed out of the exam room, down the hall, through the lobby, and out to the car. By the time he sitting in the passenger's side of Dean's car he had already sent a text message and looked up a number. Getting people from Texas to New York in the next couple of hours was a mighty big order to fill, but Sam made the big bucks for a reason and that was so that he'd be able to boss people around and get shit done.
Getting from Texas to New York wasn't that impossible of a proposition, the problem Sam ran into was that Jensen's family and Jared's family lived nearly five hours apart. It made sense for them to all arrive on the same plane so Sam just had to get them all in one place, like Dallas, the city with the bigger airport. Even if a helicopter got to Dallas quickly and then a plane took off for New York it was still going to take at least five or six hours and Sam hoped Janie could hold on that long.
"What happened!" Dean yelled as he opened the back door. "How's my Bunny?"
"I'm not sure, it was Jared calling for a help."
"What does he need?"
"Us at the hospital, obviously, but their parents weren't coming in for another two weeks, so I'm getting a helicopter for Jared's family to get to Dallas where I'm chartering a flight to take them to JFK which is within twenty minutes of the hospital."
"You're doing all of that from your cellphone?"
"Baby, I can rule the world with this thing."
"Okay!" Dean whispered. "You're all strapped in and safe and…mwah! That's for the ride home. You can spend the day with grandpa!"
"There's someone who charters helicopters all over Texas like twenty miles from their house."
"Hold on!" Dean said before he ran around the car. "How do you know where they live?"
"I had their address from the wedding and my Christmas card list. I should be able to get them to Dallas pretty quickly and…Hello, is this Mr. Douglas Bastoe? I need to get some people to Dallas as soon as possible. No, no, I can give you my credit card number right now and pay you double if you're quick about it."
The man on the other end of the phone sounded very confused, but his confusion cleared right up after Sam gave him his credit card number and more importantly his name. He promised to be ready and waiting when Jared's family arrived and he said they'd get to Dallas very quickly and safely which put Sam's mind at ease about the rush job. Once the ride to Dallas was secured Sam sent another text message to Jared so he could tell his parents to hit the road. The only other thing Sam had to do was make sure there was a plane waiting when everyone arrived at the airport, which he knew wasn't going to be easy and would require a little bit of research before he made any calls.
"You know Nick never took blood for any of the other kids at their two month checkup."
"Neither did the other doctors we went to before him." Sam said. "He's suspicious."
"Seems that way."
"He pocketed the blood. I saw him put it in his coat."
"You think Bruce told him about your blood?"
"No, he wouldn't do that. He just knows something happened to Buster."
"He got bit by the cuteness monster!"
"You don't think Jared and Jensen's baby will be as cute as Buster, do you?"
"It'll be cute, but it won't be as cute as our baby."
"He is…" Sam said as he leaned over the seat. "Out like a light.
"He's a sweet baby!" Dean whispered. "Much sweeter than Milo."
"Agreed." Sam nodded. "Yes, this is Sam Winchester. Yes, sir, I am. I need to charter a direct flight from your airport to JFK. It's a family emergency and I'm well aware of the cost."
"You are so sexy right now." Dean said as he rubbed Sam's thigh. "Work, daddy."
Supernatural was currently the biggest movie in the world, by the time it was at the theatres for a few weeks Sam was sure it would become the highest grossing movie of all time. He took a lot of credit for that, but Jensen and Jared were also maybe a little responsible. At least forty or so million had come from their fans seeing the movie multiple times just for the sex scenes so Sam had no problem with agreeing to pay over three hundred thousand dollars to make sure a plane and pilot were gassed up and ready to go.
By the time they got to the house Jared's family was already on the way to meet the helicopter and Jensen's family was on their way to the airport. Sam felt really good about helping out, but he couldn't help but realize that a few weeks ago things would have been a lot easier. He could have had everyone where they needed to be in a matter of seconds and then simply whitewashed how they got there. It made Sam miss who he used to be, but he was still sure he made the right decision by giving up his powers.
John was already waiting at the front door doing what Sam was pretty sure he called the Yiddish Happy Dance. It reminded Sam of a giddy prospector character in one of the cartoons he used to watch as a child. John was sort of square dancing all by himself, something he only did when he was especially happy. He was probably a little happy for Jared and Jensen, but he mostly ecstatic because he'd get to spend lots of time alone with Buster before the rest of the kids came home.
"Where's my pudding pie!"
"Shh." Dean whispered. "He's sleeping. You need to gently massage his butt later."
"I do that anyway."
"Maybe you can give him a bath." Sam suggested. "He likes his baths."
"Oooh." John said seriously. "We both do. What's going on with the Janie?"
"Jared just said she was in labor when he called. We're going to leave Dean's car since the seats for Ollie and the babies are inside. They get off at three."
"I already told Jeremy he'd have to get them so I don't have to leave with Buster."
"Good plan." Dean nodded. "Lemme grab the bag and we can go."
"What bag?" Sam asked. "We're not staying there."
"It's a bag full of candy in case of emergencies. See? I wrote Jared's name on it with sparkle glue."
Dean presented the brown paper grocery bag with great pride. Jared's name was written in big blue glittery letters, which Sam was sure Dean had done to encourage Janie to have a boy. The bag weighed about ten pounds and was filled with a disgusting array of chemicals, sugar, and a few candy bars for good measure. Sam even spotted a whole cluster of Baby Ruth's which he planned on quality testing once they were in the road.
"I guess we should take my car. It's easier to park."
"Oh, no!" Dean laughed. "No kids, we gotta get there fast, we're taking my baby."
"Oh…" Sam whispered. "Long drive back too."
"Mmhmm."
"Daddy's going to blow daddy on the ride back." John told Buster. "Which is sinful."
"Dad!"
"Oh, come on." John said as he rolled his eyes. "You weren't the first one to get head while driving that car."
"Dad!" Sam groaned. "Don't be so sexy."
"I can't make any promises. You two get moving and be careful. I'll make my special dinner for the kids."
"Frozen pizza?"
"Exactly!"
Sam kissed on Buster, pulled Dean away from kissing him too much and then they both made their way to the garage. The Impala had a place of honor in the center stall of the garage. It was covered up, but Dean took care of that with one firm yank. The cover went flying and old faithful was gleaming like a giant black diamond. Dean opened the passenger door to let Sam in and then slid behind the wheel looking sexier than ever. The ride to New York usually took about an hour and Sam decided to spend that time face down in Dean's lap which was much tastier and sweeter than a Baby Ruth.
Dean drove to the hospital as fast as he could without breaking too many laws. He did go over the speed limit a couple of times, but that was really Sam's fault since he was being so flirtatious and bitey. By the time Dean finally got to the hospital his knees were weak, he wanted to take a nap, and was looking forward to making Sam drive home. Sam was as satisfied as ever even though he didn't get off he did get what he wanted which made both of them very happy.
After parking the car and rushing around like a chicken with it's head cut off Dean finally stopped and asked for directions to the maternity ward. A very nice woman, who seemed like she was a volunteer pointed them in the direction of the third floor, but warned that security was very tight. She knew they wouldn't have any problems getting through considering Sam owned controlling stock of the entire world, but she told them anyway and then winked which Dean thought was a little curious.
When they made it to the third floor Dean got what the wink was for. Before they even had a chance to step out of the elevator two cops stopped them. They were both big as houses and only let them pass once their names were located on a clipboard the older one was holding. At the reception desk there was another cop, who gave them a thorough inspection with his eyes and then another that wanted to look inside Dean's bag of candy.
Sam was losing his patience, but then yet another much friendlier cop showed up and led them down three separate hallways. If the cop hadn't been so nice Dean would have been terrified he was about to get ass raped, but it was obvious that Jared, or more likely Jensen, was very concerned about the safety and privacy of his new little family. Amy and Jenny didn't have any muscle at all let alone the veritable army that stood between any photographers and Janie.
The cop made one more left turn and then pushed and held open a set of double doors. Sam walked through first, but Dean was right behind him. He was sort of rushing and trying to get to Janie, Jared, and Jensen quickly, but Sam had stalled in the middle of the hallway and Dean ran right into him nearly knocking himself over in the process. He was tempted to shove Sam out of the way, but then he saw what had caused the holdup.
At the end of the long hall, next to what was clearly a very private room, Jared was standing with his back to them. He was probably thirty feet away and facing a window while pointing and talking very quietly. When Sam took a few steps forward Dean did the same and then cleared his throat causing Jared to very slowly turn around so he could point and whisper again.
"That's who I was telling you about." Jared whispered. "They're the reason I met daddy."
"Oh, my God." Sam said quietly. "Oh, Jared."
"I know, right?"
"Wow." Dean whispered. "Who's this?"
"This?" Jared asked. "This is my…baby."
Dean felt like screaming because he already knew who Jared was holding, but the baby must have been mere minutes old and like most wrapped up babies the sex was unclear. Whatever it was, it was cute as hell. The baby had a fine layer of dark fuzz over it's head, a cute little nose, and what looked like a foot and a half of forehead, but no clear signs of it's gender. Dean was getting awfully antsy and then it just got worse when Jared gave the baby to Sam first.
"Hello, beautiful!"
"Name?" Dean asked. "What's the name?"
"Dallas Michael Ackles-Padalecki."
"A boy!" Dean yelled. "He's perfect and named after my Mifoo!"
"Jensen insisted."
"Where is he?" Sam asked. "He okay?"
"Uh…" Jared said before he paused. "He will be. He's with Janie."
"Here Dean." Sam smiled. "Try this one on for size."
Dean felt like a kid on Christmas morning when Sam handed Dallas to him. It was an absolutely perfect name for an absolutely perfect baby. Because he was early he was a little on the small side, but Dean thought he was at least close to six pounds. When Dean kissed him on his forehead he opened his eyes for a second and then smacked his lips and closed them again. It was absolutely adorable and Dean just knew the baby was going to be so much cuter when Jensen was holding him.
When they got to the private room Janie was in bed looking exhausted but happy and beautiful. The room was very large with a little table some chairs, and even a rocking chair in the corner. Dean didn't see Jensen at all until he noticed the sofa that was sort of tucked away in a little alcove. The room was very softly lit and it took Dean a second to realize why Jared had said Jensen would be okay eventually.
"Oh, shit." Sam said. "Uh…"
"Dude." Dean whispered. "Awesome."
"Hey guys." Jensen said as he stood up. "This is Dallas' little brother."
"Look at his little ears!" Dean squealed. "What's his name!"
"Austin."
"Because San Antonio is a terrible name for a baby." Jared grumbled. "Apparently."
"Someone back me up."
"I would." Janie said weakly. "But I can't feel feelings."
"Oh, how are you?" Sam asked as he walked over. "What happened?"
Dean heard something about a c-section but then he completely tuned Janie out so he could scope out Austin. Dallas went back to Jared and Dean accepted Austin with open arms. He had a full head of pointy light brown hair, big gray eyes, a very defined cupid's bow and Mr. Potato Head ears. When Dean kissed him on the forehead his whole face scrunched up and then he immediately relaxed again. Both babies were beyond beautiful and as Dean suspected they looked even better in the arms of their very hunky daddies.
"Austin Michael." Jensen said. "I'm freaking out."
"No." Dean laughed. "You're not."
"I'm going to!"
"Don't. You're going to be great at this."
"I agree." Sam said as he walked back over to check out Austin. "Janie's out. What happened?"
"Dr. Baxter had already told her she was probably going to have a c-section. We didn't know anything about it until we got here."
"But everything went fine." Jared added. "We got to see her uterus. It's like a basketball made out of meat with babies inside. Now I think all basketballs are filled with babies."
"Right!" Sam laughed. "Oh, guys. They're both so beautiful. Your parents should be here in a few hours. I tried my best."
"We appreciate it, Sam." Jensen smiled. "I think Dallas looks a lot like me."
"And look at Austin. See this little mole?"
Austin's 'mole' looked more like a little blotch in his skin and Dean was pretty sure his lips, along with Dallas' forehead were at least as accurate as any DNA test. It was totally obvious that Austin was Jensen's and Dallas was Jared's and either they were totally blinded by love, completely dense, or they were just joking around. Unfortunately Dean, and apparently Sam as well, couldn't tell which it was so they both just sort of smiled and nodded. Either way it didn't matter which baby had come from which gravy because both babies were undeniably theirs.
"Excuse me." A nurse whispered as she walked into the room. "Time for the boys to head to the nursery for a while."
"They need to eat." Jared said defensively. "Austin is clearly starving. Look at him. He'll have the cheeseburger. Dallas will have the side salad and a steak. Medium rare."
"Yeah, we need to feed them. Where's the baby menu?"
"They'll be…"
"I'd like to speak to your supervisor." Jensen said as he stepped in front of Jared. "Babies need to eat."
"Okay." Sam said before he fought a chuckle. "Let's all calm down."
"He's starving!"
"Jared, he's like ten minutes old." Dean said. "They both are, and the restaurant is currently closed."
"Sam, go wake her up. Slap her."
"She needs to sleep, they need to sleep, and in a few hours everyone will be ready for something to eat. Right, nurse?"
"Yes, sir, Mr. Winchester. Mr. Ackles, Mr. Padalecki, they've just spent the past few months eating every time their mother did."
"She's our surrogate." Jared whispered. "There's no mommy."
"Two daddies." Jensen added. "We're going to keep them in here if you don't mind. That will be all."
The poor nurse looked over at Dean with the most helpless look on her face. She was absolutely right and the babies probably had no interest in nursing. Ollie waited a whole day before he took a bottle and Ethan and Evan went almost twice as long. There was nothing wrong with Jared and Jensen keeping the babies in the room, but the nurses probably had some things they needed to do, things that would be a lot easier to do in the nursery. Jared and Jensen didn't seem to get that and as the tension in the room grew they started looking more and more defensive.
"Dean." Sam whispered. "I think this is why you're here…"
"Oh, right. Guys, let the nurse take the babies so they can get some sleep or else they won't be strong enough to eat."
"But they're like angels! They taste like pudding!"
"Dude." Jared said. "You tasted Austin while I was showing Dallas the big city?"
"Of course I…didn't." Jensen said as his eyes darted around the room. "No."
"Hmmm."
"Jared." Sam said. "Take the baby out of your mouth."
"Come on, guys. Let us buy you some lunch and before you know it they'll be ready for something to eat."
"He dof kinda tafe like puddin'."
"Are you chewing?" Jensen shrieked. "Don't chew on him!"
"Uh… nop."
Jared opened his mouth and let Austin have back his hand before he put him in the little cart the nurse had wheeled in with her. Jensen stayed perfectly still and seemed to be looking for the quickest escape route, but eventually, after what Dean thought had to be five minutes, he carefully set Dallas down and then kissed both babies. After Jared did the same the very understanding nurse exited the room quietly and quickly. The very second she was gone Jensen began to actually blubber and Jared's face turned crimson.
"Who does she think she is!"
"They taste like pudding and smell like clouds in heaven!"
"I'm Jared fucking Padalecki with a ten inch cock! I could buy and sell this place!"
"Their little hands with the little fingers? They're like little candies!"
"I'm going to punch her."
"Their butts look like two little pillows! They have little cashew penises!"
"That's it! I'm punching her right in the cooze!"
"Say something, Sam." Dean whispered. "They're both crazy."
"I want to taste the babies!" Sam wailed. "And look at their butts!"
Dean elbowed Sam in the ribs, but it did absolutely no good. He practically flung himself into Jensen's open arms and they wailed together about pillow butts, pudding fingers, and fat little empty tummies. Since the menstruation nation didn't seem too dangerous Dean let them sob together while he did his best to calm Jared down. He wanted to punch the nurse in the cooze, then the face, and then he settled on the boobs. Dean managed to talk him down to giving her a nasty look but Jared was still drafting an angry letter in his head.
Once Sam snapped out of his temporary lapse into complete and utter uselessness he took Jensen's hand and led him out of the room. Dean did the same with Jared and together the four of them made it all the way to the cafeteria which was actually really nice for a hospital. Dean bought a couple of sandwiches, Sam got a few cups of coffee and a smoothie and then everyone sat at a quiet secluded table in the back. Dean wanted to stay there for at least a half hour, but judging by how twitchy the new daddies were he thought he'd be lucky to get five minutes.
"I miss our babies."
"We have babies." Jared whispered. "We made them."
"They're made of gumdrops."
"Which one do you like better?"
"I…I don't know." Jensen frowned. "Dean, do you like Mary or Milo better?"
"Mary."
"Dean!"
"Oh, come on." Dean said. "I love them both but everyone knows there's always one evil twin, Jeremy, Ethan, Milo."
"I don't think I can pick one I like better."
"Jared." Sam said. "You don't have to."
"That's a relief because they're both perfect!"
Just for the hell of it Dean tried very hard to figure out who he really liked better. Evan was the sweetest child a parent could ask for, but Dean loved that Ethan was such a badass sometimes. Mary obviously was daddy's princess, but Milo was so funny and loving when he wanted to be. It was really impossible to choose and given enough time both Jared and Jensen would come to realize that each baby was their absolutely favorite in every possible way, but for the record, based on first impressions, Dean was pretty sure Dallas was the evil one.
"What do you two need?" Sam asked. "We can pick it up and bring it to the house so everything's ready when you get home."
"We need a ride back home with two car seats." Jensen said. "Dean?"
"No problem. I will gladly chauffeur."
"And we need double the baby necessities." Jared added. "From Pottery Barn. You know, the baby sleeper. Sam, will you see if the room is big enough for another crib?"
"Absolutely. Jensen, maybe you should call Maria. Wasn't she coming in next week?"
"Oh, Maria! Can you change her ticket for me?"
"No problem. Anything else?"
"We're gonna be okay, right?" Jensen asked. "With two of them?"
"Of course you are."
Two babies wasn't exactly easy, but Dean was beyond confident in Jared and Jensen's ability to be amazing parents. If two girls had come out he might have been concerned, but that was only because Jensen had somehow convinced himself that baby girls and baby boys were completely different in every possible way. Dean actually thought that Mary had maybe been a little easier than the boys because she couldn't projectile pee and as she got older she was a lot less interested in her private parts than the boys were. Dean wasn't exactly sure how they were going to handle puberty with her, but him and Sam could get through it because they were good parents.
The same went for Jared and Jensen. Even though they had only been parents for an hour or so Dean knew they'd be okay because they were just great with kids. Evan thought the world of both of them, and while Ollie was still traumatized by his big city bath he still thought they were pretty cool. Mary loved hanging out with them, and Ethan thought they were pretty okay. Buster seemed to like them well enough and Milo didn't count because he was a punk. Mikey had grown sort of tired of explaining things to Jared, but he still got excited when he knew they were coming over. That was a bunch of good endorsements from a very discerning crowd so it seemed very unlikely that Jared and Jensen were going to do something horribly wrong. They'd stumble, sure, but Dallas and Austin were in very good hands.
"He's right." Sam smiled. "You'll be fine. Just remember to ask for help, let Maria do her job, and remember we're only an hour away and Sean and Dan are right down the street."
"They are good parents." Jared shrugged. "If you overlook the bareback sex parties."
"Porter's close too." Dean added. "You've got a lot of support."
"Thanks, guys." Jensen said quietly. "I feel a little better."
"Good!"
"And we've actually got some other new too."
"Oh?"
"You tell them, Jared."
"Well." Jared started. "When we were in Los Angeles for the premiere…we did some other business."
"For the movie?"
"No, we sold the house. We're officially permanent residents of New York."
"Ooh!" Dean gasped. "That means you have nowhere else to go! You'll never leave me!"
"That's exactly what it means!"
"Don't you two have a huge house in Dallas too?"
"Shut up, Sam!"
"Yeah! Shut up, Sam."
"Don't you tell me to shut up!"
Jared and Jensen hadn't actually lived in the house in California for quite some time, but Dean always had a secret dread that they'd just up and move back one day. Without a best friend he'd have to go crawling back to Bruce or Alex to fill his gaping void and he didn't want to do that. Having the house gone meant that Jared and Jensen were committed to a life on the East coast and whenever Dean wanted to hang out with his buddy he'd be able to. Sam was also going to get to see Jared whenever he wanted, but it was hard to get too excited about that.
"We should celebrate." Dean suggested. "By eating a sandwich, drinking some coffee, and then going to check on the babies."
"We have babies! Kiss on me!"
Dean leaned across the table to kiss Jensen, but Jared pushed him out of the way while Sam rolled his eyes. After the kiss and a little something to eat the four of them made their way back upstairs. Janie was still out cold, but the nurse, who didn't get punched in the face let Jared and Jensen through into the little private nursery. Dean really wanted to go hold the babies again but he hung out with Sam and just watched. Jared picked up Austin and Jensen scooped up Dallas and together they brought them to the window that faced the hallway.
Hot guys were always going to be hot, but Dean had never seen Jared and Jensen look so incredibly handsome and bursting with happiness. They had big smiles on their faces that Dean captured with the camera on his phone so he could tell everyone back home about the newest additions to the extended family. The picture and text message went right through and exactly six seconds later Michael was screaming in Dean's ear about blowing off his afternoon class to come see the babies that were named after him.
Babies affected people in many different ways. When Mary saw new babies she immediately went through her vast collection of doll clothes to pick what she thought would be most appropriate which would explain why Sam had a picture on his desk of Buster in a very frilly and very pink dress. Mikey always wanted to know measurements to see how new babies stacked up against the size of other babies including himself when he was born. Ethan always wanted to do something horrible like getting a bunch of balloons and some string, while Evan without fail would beg and plead to hold a baby and smell it. Ollie was mostly into checking out any potential competition in the pageant circuit and Milo would of course have to spend at least two hours reminding everyone that he was Sam's baby.
When Sam saw babies all he wanted to do was have at least a dozen more with Dean. He took one look at Dallas and Austin and immediately decided that as soon as Amy popped they were going to steal her eggs in the night and stick them in whoever was willing and able. A few weeks ago Dean would have been on board, but now he was perfectly content with the babies he had and the sweet baby at home who was always going to be their last baby. Sam still wanted a dozen more, but if they were done he thought that Buster was the best possible baby to stop with.
The other thing babies did for both Sam and Dean was put them in the mood for loving. Sam had been fighting it all day and he actually had to turn Dean down when they happened to be in the restroom at the hospital. They fooled around a little, or a lot, on the ride back to the house, but blowjobs were for teenage boys, not big men who needed to be inside of each other, possibly at the same time with the aid of a marital aid aptly named "ole double dicky" Unfortunately that couldn't happen right away since they made it home in the middle of dinner and the kids wanted to hear about the babies and Dean wanted to rub Buster's butt for him.
"They are so cute!" Sam said as he took a piece of pizza. "Daddy and I have decided to have fifteen more!"
"Absolutely not!" Ethan said as he hit the table with his fist. "Mikey is cute."
"Thank you." Mikey said. "Pretty sure this is going to be a backhanded compliment though."
"Evan and me are ten thousand times cuter."
"There it is!"
"Then Ollie came out and he's as fat as a pig."
"Ethan! A so sweet!"
"Then those two with the hair." Ethan said as he pointed at the babies. "And those little dresses. Now there's Buster who makes Mikey looks like a pile of garbage that a homo puked on and then set on fire."
"I am so going to kick your ass one day." Mikey whispered. "The day you turn thirteen. Kickassmas!"
"Kick it!" Milo yelled. "Kick 'em!"
"Ethan." Evan sighed. "The word is hobo not homo and I told you that's not very nice."
"If they have another baby we're going to be ugly, look at Buster's butt! It's spectacular!"
Sam laughed a little and then looked over at the butt in question which was undeniably perfect in everyway. It was also exposed at the dinner table since Dean had Buster against his chest while he massaged his little white buns. John said Buster had been napping most of the day but he ate, they had a bath, and there were of course several butt massages. Dean did it the best though, which Sam knew from personal experience, he was just hoping Buster didn't grace them with any surprises which would plop right out on the dinner table.
"We're not having any more babies." Dean told the kids. "We can't risk it."
"Risk what, daddy?"
"Well, Mikey…There's a chance we could end up with another ginger. Obviously I don't carry that genetic defect, but daddy does."
"But he puts a lot of his baby stuff in you." Ethan frowned. "I don't know if I could handle another ginger baby. They're so gross and creepy."
"Whuh!" Milo yelled. "Mifoo! Where my Mifoo?"
"Well, baby." Sam said. "He's at the hospital making stinky in his pants every ten minutes because the tiny Texans are named after him."
"Stinky?" Milo asked. "My Mifoo?"
Sam nodded very seriously and Milo just shook his head before making a rat face. Michael hadn't actually shit himself, but he was close at least twice. He was also under the impression that Austin and Dallas were both named Michael, even though Jared and Jensen were both clear on their first and middle names. All Michael heard was his own name and he yelled, he cried, and he insisted on seeing the babies that were named in his prestigious honor. Once he got a hold of Dallas and Austin he yelled some more, cried some more, and then agreed that they both tasted like pudding and had little pillow butts. As far as Sam knew he was still at the hospital because "He ain't had nothin' else to be doin'" like spending time with Alex, getting notes on what he had missed in school from Ryan, or just plain studying.
"Was a baby pretty?" Mary asked. "They have two like Whoa?"
"They were both very pretty!" Dean nodded. "And just like you and Milo except two boys."
"Look the same?"
"Those are the best kinds of twins." Ethan said before he scoffed. "Only kind if you ask me."
"They don't look the same, not like Ethan and Evan."
"We." Ethan said as he touched Mary's hand. "Used to be the same person."
"What happen?"
"Daddy's sperm split us in two like the damn mighty hammer of Thor."
"Wow!"
"I know, right?"
"Right." Mary whispered. "Daddy sperm?"
"Mary." Sam said. "I am a very powerful man. That's why I'm the daddy and daddy's the mommy. Also why he sometimes wears lovely dresses. I buy them for him."
"He a daddy!"
"No!" Milo yelled. "He mommy. Mommy, more rooms."
"Am I a lady?" Dean asked. "Hmm?"
"Yes. A pretty lady."
"Eh, I'll take it."
Dean grabbed another slice of pizza and then placed it on Milo's plate so he could deconstruct it. First he pulled off all the mushrooms, his favorites, and placed them in a neat little pile. Then he removed the ham and did the same. Once all the toppings were gone he proceeded to eat the slice and then later he'd work on the ham and mushrooms one at a time. Sam wasn't entirely sure why he ate that way, but he sure did like it since Milo would make at least ten rat faces during the whole process which typically took him about fifteen minutes.
"How's that baby butt?"
"He's so sleepy." Dean said before he paused. "Maybe we should go upstairs and put him down."
"Both of us?"
"Well…he likes when we both tuck him in…and read him a story."
"Why don't you eat first, you must be starving."
"Oh, I am starving, Sammy."
"I'm nine." Mikey sighed. "Pretty sure you can't pretend you're going to put Buster down and read him an hour long story."
"Wha you gonna do, daddy?"
"We have to do our taxes. We'll be back in an hour or…"
"We'll be back eventually." Sam smiled. "Dad, can you continue watching the kids?"
"Don't you have a guy to do your taxes?" John asked. "And it's November."
"Oh, grandpa." Mikey said as he shook his head. "It's a good thing you're so handsome."
"Now wait a hot damn minute!" Ollie said. "You don even know!"
"What is it, baby?"
"A sparkle baby gwand winter festival is in a week. A need to pwactice, work on a moves, get a curls cut, spway tan, flippah, lots of diamonds…"
"Dad?" Sam sighed. "Did you let him watch television today?"
"Ollie, tell him what you told me."
"There is a lot of hot tail on the show and I like it."
"That's why Supernatural is so popular." Dean said before he sat back down. "How many episodes did he watch?"
"Like half of one."
"Daddy." Evan whispered. "It was a six hour marathon. Ollie wants fake teeth and a boob job."
Sam pinched the bridge of his nose and then sat back down as well since fooling around with Dean was going to have to wait. Ollie was staring at both of them and not eating which meant too much attention was being paid to new babies and not his big time debut in the sparkle hooker baby winter festival. It was getting closer and closer and he was getting more and more excited which was fine, but whenever he watched Toddlers and Tiaras, which Sam was pretty sure he had banned, Ollie's demands became even more outrageous. It was a problem especially because Ollie thought there was nothing wrong with a four year old getting a spray tan which Sam was never in a million years going to allow.
"I will take you to New Jersey this weekend to get your spray tan."
"Yay!"
"Dean!"
"Or we could use that special kit." Dean said seriously. "But it's so expensive…it is the best though. It's what all the really great hooker babies use."
"Wha?" Ollie said with wide eyes. "I want it!"
"What do you think, Sammy?"
Sam wasn't sure he had ever heard of a special spray tanning kit, but then he saw that little mischievous glint in Dean's eye, which was part of the reason he loved him so damn much. Ollie wanted something completely inappropriate for a child, but he had seen other children get it done. If they told him no he'd be upset for at least a week, but if they faked it he'd be happy as a pig and if Dean told him how tanned he looked he'd believe it. Dean was obviously going to buy some kind of body spray or maybe they could just fill up a squirt bottle with water and get Ollie to strip down so he could get his 'tan' on. It was amazing that Dean was able to come up with such an idea on the fly and even more amazing that Sam knew exactly what he was thinking.
"I don't think so!"
"Please daddy Sammy!"
"Do you promise to never watch that terrible television show again?"
"Gasp! Ultomato!"
"Exactly. Do we have a deal?"
"Well." Ollie said before he sighed. "Wha about a teeth?"
"Once I'm dead in the ground."
"Deal!"
Sam shook Ollie's hand and then stood up to exit the room before he could make anymore demands. Dean pretty much ran out of the room as well because it was obvious that Ollie was thinking. If the whole pageant thing made him happy Sam was going to be as supportive as possible, but he absolutely refused to let anyone spray paint his kids and like everyone else in the family he had nice, straight, white teeth. Sam had caved on allowing Billy to do hair and makeup, but that wasn't really an extravagance even though it was costing them more than the entrance fee.
Once they were upstairs Dean set Buster down for bed and shoved Sam backwards all in the same motion. Sam hit the bed sideways and nearly fell off and before he could even straighten himself up Dean was pulling at his belt, trying to get off his jeans, and push his legs into the air at the same time. Sam knew exactly what he was trying to get at and that was fine, but before they fooled around they needed to talk.
"Baby."
"Shh." Dean whispered. "Tell me you want me to tear it up."
"I do." Sam said as he struggled to keep his underwear on. "But…"
"Yeah, leave 'em on. I'll eat my way through to that sweet pus…"
"Dean!"
"Come on!" Dean yelled as he pointed at his crotch. "Look at that!"
"It's the most delightful tent I've ever seen, but I need to talk to you about Ollie."
"It's taken care of. We'll slap a fake label on that spray Evian crap Billy is always telling you to use. Give up that ass, sweet cheeks!"
"Five minutes."
"Might as well be a million years!" Dean said as he collapsed in the bed next to Sam. "I get to break out the toy box and use whatever I want."
"Fine."
"Maybe then you can use two toys with me."
"You sick bastard. Our baby is sleeping not ten feet away."
"He's fine!"
Sam was all for doing whatever Dean wanted and he wasn't concerned about a sleeping and sheltered infant napping a good distance away from the bed. He didn't even care much about Dean's obsessive need to have ever sex toy they had in his ass at the same time. What did concern Sam was the pageant. He knew Ollie would do his best because he was charming, obscenely adorable, and he had everything he needed. Ollie didn't really worry Sam because he'd be happy just competing and maybe getting a little trophy.
The problem was Dean who always wanted to make his children happy. He'd listen to Mikey practice piano for hours. He had his own pair of ballet socks so he could let the twins coach him, and he'd have endless tea parties with Mary and never correct Milo when he called him 'Mommy." There was a very good chance, at least somewhere in the 95% range that Dean would see Ollie in his first real pageant and become the most horrible thing Sam could ever imagine.
"Promise me you won't become a pageant dad."
"I'm not sure what you mean, but I don't see why you can't talk while I'm making out with your butt."
"You know exactly what I mean. I saw you mimicking his western wear routine the other day."
"We were practicing!"
"You told him he needed to be sassier."
"He was sassier, wasn't he!"
"Yes, absolutely. Just promise me you won't be the creepy dad dancing along in the audience."
"Sammy." Dean laughed. "I won't be doing that until Mary starts competing. Now grab your ankles and shut the hell up."
"Mary won't be…hey!"
"I said shut up." Dean said as he yanked off Sam's underwear. "And get your legs in the air."
Sam tried to resist, he really did, but not having sex with Dean was unnatural, an almost criminal act. Instead of fighting it Sam just gave in and within thirty seconds his head was turned sideways so he could bite down on the pillow to stop himself from shouting out loud enough for the entire house to hear. It was a good thing Sam did give in because Dean was practically animalistic and there was no telling what waiting a few more minutes might have done to him.
For a while Dean practiced his favorite art form and then crawled on top of Sam while he unbuckled his own belt and unbuttoned his jeans. On occasion they did break out the box of toys and they definitely had a whole lot of fun, but Sam knew he was going to have Dean all to himself without the aid of anything. It was pretty damn spectacular, but Sam noticed something off almost immediately. It wasn't Dean's style or the fantastic rhythm he was keeping. That was all normal, run of the mill even, but Dean was whispering his naughty pleasantries and nothing else.
Normally when someone had a baby they'd both get pretty frisky and come home to celebrate in the only way Sam thought two brothers should celebrate. They'd make love and it would be perfect because it always was, but usually it was a little more perfect because Dean would be telling Sam about having kids. When Jenny was pregnant with Buster all Sam heard about after Henry was born was their new perfect baby that was on the way. They didn't have any babies on the way and they wouldn't have any babies on the way again so Dean didn't mention them and Sam missed it. He missed it so much that his own orgasm kind of snuck up on his causing him to cry out in ecstatic surprise.
"Shh." Dean whispered. "You like that?"
"Yeah." Sam shuddered. "Yeah, I like when you do that."
"You made a mess."
"Look who's talking."
"I'll take care of it."
"Don't you always?"
Dean grinned and then kissed Sam's neck, across his chest, and then down his stomach. Sam was shuddering again within moments but he managed to silence the noise by gripping the back of Dean's head. They could have easily gone another round, but Dean had been so thorough that Sam was exhausted. He just wanted to roll over and call it a night even though it was barely past seven and the kids all needed baths before they went to sleep.
"Outstanding." Dean said as he laid back. "Hand me my phone?"
"Why?"
"So I can text message dad and tell him to take the kids to his house."
"You are brilliant."
"It's been said. You okay?"
"Of course." Sam smiled. "I'm great."
"Put your head on my mighty chest and tell me your problems."
"It's nothing." Sam said as he moved over. "I just realized we're really done having kids."
"Those two were cuties today, huh?"
"Yeah, they were."
"I thought you were okay with not having anymore."
"I am. I just…I hate that it's not on our terms."
"Me too, Sammy."
Sam having more kids just wasn't an option. He kept hearing from several sources that he was absolutely run of the mill human and normal, but there really was no telling what might have been lurking in his blood. He couldn't risk what that might do to a child so he was out. Dean would have been an option, but after what he went through with Buster there was no way he'd father another child. He understood that the premature birth wasn't his fault or Jenny's and that Buster's birth was a pawn for God to manipulate all of them, but another pregnancy just wasn't something he could deal with especially if he was the baby daddy. They were also out of surrogates and fine with eight kids, but Sam still hated that he didn't have the option.
"You didn't even think about it when you were holding Austin and Dallas?"
"Of course I did." Dean laughed. "But I think you and I are done, Sammy. This summer we're getting a new baby and you know Alex and Michael aren't going to stop until that house is busting at the seams."
"Good point."
"And…"
"What?"
"And…" Dean said before he sighed. "If there comes a day when the kids are getting older and doing their own thing and we want more…there are so many kids out there who need homes. So many kids that need parents like us."
"You want to adopt one day?"
"Maybe." Dean shrugged. "If…if things were different, Charlie would still be in a home with a bunch of other kids that no one wants."
"Oh, Dean, I'm not sure we could…"
"I'm not saying we'd adopt someone who needed the level of care he did, but I think I would want to adopt a kid who might not find a family otherwise."
"I love you, you know that, right?"
"Yeah, Sammy, I do."
Sam wasn't really sure what the future held for them, another little perk of being all normal and human, but he knew he was always going to be surrounded by the people he loved the most, his family. The option to have more kids would have been spectacular, but Sam couldn't help but feel he was already pretty damn lucky when it came to being a daddy. The kids he had with Dean were all perfect, Michael was turning out to be one hell of a man, and maybe in the future they'd get the chance to welcome someone else into the family, someone who would need big brothers and a big sister, someone who needed loving and caring parents, and grandparents who threw the best slumber parties ever.
That night Sam fell asleep with his head on Dean's chest and dreamed about the son or daughter they might have one day. The child probably wasn't going to look like the rest of the kids or act like them but they'd accept him or her anyway and be the best brothers and sister any kid could hope for and Dean would continue to be the very best father in the world.
Title: Please Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys.
Author: bitchandjerk
Characters: Sam/Dean,John/Mary/OFC OMCs OFCs Jared/Jensen,
Rating :R
Words10,000/3,538,900
Warnings: Wincest
Summary: Sam and Dean take Buster in for his two month checkup .
Notes:: AU, rest are here.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.
Feedback: Makes me hard
Because Buster had been born so early Sam had prepared himself for the possibility of a lifetime of complications, setbacks, and unbelievable stress. He thought that Buster would most likely be blind and deaf, he might have some developmental delays, and that he might never be like the rest of the kids. As it turned out Sam was only right on one count because his sweet browned eyed baby boy was completely unique, absolutely individual, and couldn't have been more different from his assorted siblings.
On Wednesday morning Sam was sitting on a fire truck with Buster in this arms while Dean paced and picked at his nails with his teeth. Sam had broken him of his nasty nail biting habit, but Dean still picked with his teeth, a habit that was apparently unbreakable. It went hand in hand with the pacing, which was driving Sam absolutely crazy. He thought about saying something or recommending that Dean take a seat, but he kept quiet and gently rocked Buster in his arms while they waited.
When the door finally opened it was like someone had injected a pot of extra strength coffee directly into Dean's blood stream. He was rattling off about a noise Buster was making, which Sam thought was digestion, Dean was concerned about a spot he saw, which was obviously a very tiny patch of diaper rash, and of course there was the major issue. Dean was absolutely positive that Buster was sick with some mysterious illness that had absolutely no symptoms or side effects, but it was most certainly fatal if not treated promptly, which Sam wasn't even entertaining.
"What do you mean?" Nick asked. "Does he have a fever?"
"No."
"Is he eating?"
"A lot."
"Change in bowel movements?"
"Not exactly." Dean said. "I just…"
"Nothing's wrong with him, Nick. Nothing."
"It's Dr. Hudson." Nick said as he lowered his glasses. "Let me take a look at him and…Oh, God!"
"What!" Dean yelled. "What is it! Is he dying!"
"No, he just misses his uncle Nick! Come here, cutie! How are you two months old already!"
Dean grabbed at his chest and dramatically fell into the wall while gasping for air. Nick, the only medical doctor in the room, completely ignored him and Sam did the same. Buster's two month checkup was scheduled for about three weeks and the closer it got the crazier Dean got. He was worried about bumps and mumps, measles and attacks by weasels as well of political strife at home and abroad. Sam wasn't worried about much except for the vaccinations because he didn't want his sweet baby to get poked in the equally sweet butt.
Buster's exam started off like everyone else's had. He was exactly nineteen inches long and weighed in at a hefty twelve pounds and change which seemed to make Nick very happy. Dean promptly began to hyperventilate again, but Sam was pretty sure he wasn't even paying any real attention to what Nick was doing to Buster. He didn't have a fever, he wasn't developing a flat spot, and he had no visible health concerns. Sam already knew all of that so he wasn't surprised, what he didn't know, and wasn't really worried about was whether Buster could see and hear.
Dean, for no other reason than needing something to worry about, had become very concerned with Buster's vision and hearing. Just last night Dean kept clapping at him until Buster began to cry and once he calmed down daddy brought out his special friend Mr. Flashlight, which also caused a bout of crying. Buster recognized loud noises, they woke him up sometimes and he certainly knew when someone was talking to him. When confronted with toys he followed them, he was a bit slow at following them, but Sam was pretty sure that had more to do with him being two months old and not with any vision problems.
"How's he sleeping?"
"Less during the day." Sam said. "Then when he goes to bed at night we get about six hours before he wakes up for a snack and a diaper change and then another four hours."
"That's pretty good. How's tummy time?"
"He's pushing up some." Dean nodded. "On his forearms, but then he gets scared because that's so high up for him. We come from a long line of short yet distinguished gentlemen."
"Does he seem alert when you're talking to him? Does he follow your voice?"
"Yes."
"But he's not really quick about it."
"Dean." Sam sighed. "You yelled at him and then threw a football across the room. That's too fast for him."
"He's blind isn't he?"
"No." Nick laughed. "He's a baby. A baby that's doing remarkable well considering he's still five weeks away from his due date. Honestly, when he was born I thought he'd still be in the hospital by this time. Can you take a couple of big boy breaths for me? No? Well, just breathe then. That's a good boy."
While Nick listened to Buster's healthy Winchester lungs Dean shot Sam a nervous glance. Nick knew nothing of demons, angels, or Gods and that was how Sam thought they should keep it. As a doctor he was incredibly skeptical about any miracle that had happened. Bruce was as well and he had the whole story, but he was remaining very cautious and had chosen blissful ignorance. Unfortunately Nick apparently wasn't going to be as accommodating.
"How are his lungs?" Dean asked. "Can he blow a house down?"
"His lungs sound perfect."
"Did you hear that, baby! You're perfect!"
"He is." Nick smiled. "He's a little short, but that's to be expected."
"Because he was premature?"
"Yeah." Nick said quickly. "Let's go with that. Anyway, he's doing extremely well."
"Good." Sam said. "He's such a good baby too."
"He seems like it." Nick said as he began to undress Buster. "He shouldn't be doing this well though. Trust me, I'm overjoyed he is, but he shouldn't be."
"Why not?" Dean asked. "He's taken very good care of."
"It's not that, Dean. He's meeting his milestones like he was born full term. Normally we don't expect premature babies to make much progress at all until their due date. He's way ahead of schedule."
"I read to him a lot and we did a lot of therapy."
"Uh…" Sam said before attempting to change the subject. "What are we doing today?"
"Six vaccinations and we'll draw a little blood. I promise it won't hurt, handsome!"
"Blood?"
"Mmhmm. Let's make sure there's nothing else going on."
Buster was down to his diaper which Nick removed and then tossed in the trash since their was a little bit of tinkle in it. While Dean cleaned him up Nick checked every inch of Buster's skin, made sure his butt was extra bubbly, and after taking a friendly suggestion he poked him in the acorns, or rather where the acorns would eventually be. Sam watched everything and Nick did exactly what he had done to Milo two years ago, with the exception of drawing blood. Sam wanted to say something but he wasn't sure what to say and luckily for him a knock came at the door before Nick could do anything besides poke Buster in the raisins.
"How's our second favorite patient ever?"
"Second?" Dean asked. "He's clearly superior to every other baby in the world, just look at his cinnamon swirl hair!"
"My son begs to differ." Bruce said as he picked up a clipboard. "How's he doing?"
"Fine." Nick said. "I can handle it, I…"
"Why are you drawing blood?"
"I just want to be extra cautious with him because he was so early."
"I think a finger prick might suffice." Bruce suggested. "What are you worried about?"
"Infection."
"Is he sick?"
"No." Sam said. "He's fine."
"Better safe than sorry. Who's going to hold the little guy?"
"Uh…"
"Oh….uh…"
"Come here baby." Bruce said as he picked him up. "It'll be over before you know it. Don't pee on me. This shirt is Prada. Uncle Anthony is a movie star!"
While Bruce held Buster close and stroked his hair Nick went from chubby cheek to chubby cheat administering the vaccinations. Dean had his fingers in his ears while he hid in a corner, but Sam stayed close and whispered to Buster to make sure he stayed calm. When the first needle went in his eyes went wide and he began to gum his bottom lip. The second needle made his big brown eyes water, and the third pushed him over the edge. He began to sob and wail, but Nick was fast and just thirty seconds later Buster was back in Sam's arms crying directly in his ear which was the saddest and cutest sound in the world.
"You did so good, buddy." Bruce said. "He'll be a little sore."
"Shh, it's okay, baby. You are a brave little toaster-man."
"Is he done!" Dean yelled from the corner. "He's crying!"
"Almost."
Before Sam or Bruce could say anything Nick pricked Buster's finger and got a few drops in a little glass vial. Buster whimpered some, but then he immediately calmed down when Sam told him they were done bothering him. He was still sort of sniffling when Dean came over to check on him and give him lots of kisses for being brave. While Sam rubbed Buster's cute little butt he kept an eagle eye on Nick who made a few notes and then slipped the vial of blood into his pocket, which was about the most suspicious thing he could have done.
"So, what's the blood for?"
"I just think it's smart to screen it. Don't you agree Bruce?"
"Couldn't hurt."
"It hurt Buster." Sam said. "He wasn't crying for the hell of it, I…"
"I got it." Dean said as he reached in Sam's pocket. "It's Jared. He can wait."
Nick used the ringing phone as a diversion. He kissed Buster on the back of the ear and then rushed out of the room leaving Bruce in charge. There was nothing else to do, but Sam was still glad Bruce was there. He was thinking about drilling him for information while Dean got Buster dressed, but then his phone rang again and he thought it was rude to ignore two calls in a row.
"Jared?" Sam said as he answered the phone. "Is everything okay?"
"We need you."
"Me?"
"You and Dean. Janie called us, she's on her way to the hospital. The baby's coming."
"Oh, shit."
"What is it?" Dean asked. "What happened?"
"Jared, it's going to be okay just get a cab and meet her at the hospital."
"And you'll meet us?"
"Absolutely. We'll drop Buster off with dad and meet you there."
"Sam, our parents really wanted to…"
"Say no more." Sam smiled. "They'll be there as soon as possible. I'll see you in a little bit, okay?"
"Thank you."
"No problem." Sam said as he closed his phone. "Baby Acklecki!"
"No!" Dean gasped. "She's early!"
"She's almost thirty-seven weeks." Sam said as he grabbed the baby bag. "Dean, meet me in the car. I've gotta make some calls."
"Go, go! We're right behind you! I'm going to be an uncle!"
"Dude!" Bruce said. "I'm standing right here!"
"Yes, you are!"
While Bruce pleaded his very convincing case that Dean was in fact already an uncle Sam rushed out of the exam room, down the hall, through the lobby, and out to the car. By the time he sitting in the passenger's side of Dean's car he had already sent a text message and looked up a number. Getting people from Texas to New York in the next couple of hours was a mighty big order to fill, but Sam made the big bucks for a reason and that was so that he'd be able to boss people around and get shit done.
Getting from Texas to New York wasn't that impossible of a proposition, the problem Sam ran into was that Jensen's family and Jared's family lived nearly five hours apart. It made sense for them to all arrive on the same plane so Sam just had to get them all in one place, like Dallas, the city with the bigger airport. Even if a helicopter got to Dallas quickly and then a plane took off for New York it was still going to take at least five or six hours and Sam hoped Janie could hold on that long.
"What happened!" Dean yelled as he opened the back door. "How's my Bunny?"
"I'm not sure, it was Jared calling for a help."
"What does he need?"
"Us at the hospital, obviously, but their parents weren't coming in for another two weeks, so I'm getting a helicopter for Jared's family to get to Dallas where I'm chartering a flight to take them to JFK which is within twenty minutes of the hospital."
"You're doing all of that from your cellphone?"
"Baby, I can rule the world with this thing."
"Okay!" Dean whispered. "You're all strapped in and safe and…mwah! That's for the ride home. You can spend the day with grandpa!"
"There's someone who charters helicopters all over Texas like twenty miles from their house."
"Hold on!" Dean said before he ran around the car. "How do you know where they live?"
"I had their address from the wedding and my Christmas card list. I should be able to get them to Dallas pretty quickly and…Hello, is this Mr. Douglas Bastoe? I need to get some people to Dallas as soon as possible. No, no, I can give you my credit card number right now and pay you double if you're quick about it."
The man on the other end of the phone sounded very confused, but his confusion cleared right up after Sam gave him his credit card number and more importantly his name. He promised to be ready and waiting when Jared's family arrived and he said they'd get to Dallas very quickly and safely which put Sam's mind at ease about the rush job. Once the ride to Dallas was secured Sam sent another text message to Jared so he could tell his parents to hit the road. The only other thing Sam had to do was make sure there was a plane waiting when everyone arrived at the airport, which he knew wasn't going to be easy and would require a little bit of research before he made any calls.
"You know Nick never took blood for any of the other kids at their two month checkup."
"Neither did the other doctors we went to before him." Sam said. "He's suspicious."
"Seems that way."
"He pocketed the blood. I saw him put it in his coat."
"You think Bruce told him about your blood?"
"No, he wouldn't do that. He just knows something happened to Buster."
"He got bit by the cuteness monster!"
"You don't think Jared and Jensen's baby will be as cute as Buster, do you?"
"It'll be cute, but it won't be as cute as our baby."
"He is…" Sam said as he leaned over the seat. "Out like a light.
"He's a sweet baby!" Dean whispered. "Much sweeter than Milo."
"Agreed." Sam nodded. "Yes, this is Sam Winchester. Yes, sir, I am. I need to charter a direct flight from your airport to JFK. It's a family emergency and I'm well aware of the cost."
"You are so sexy right now." Dean said as he rubbed Sam's thigh. "Work, daddy."
Supernatural was currently the biggest movie in the world, by the time it was at the theatres for a few weeks Sam was sure it would become the highest grossing movie of all time. He took a lot of credit for that, but Jensen and Jared were also maybe a little responsible. At least forty or so million had come from their fans seeing the movie multiple times just for the sex scenes so Sam had no problem with agreeing to pay over three hundred thousand dollars to make sure a plane and pilot were gassed up and ready to go.
By the time they got to the house Jared's family was already on the way to meet the helicopter and Jensen's family was on their way to the airport. Sam felt really good about helping out, but he couldn't help but realize that a few weeks ago things would have been a lot easier. He could have had everyone where they needed to be in a matter of seconds and then simply whitewashed how they got there. It made Sam miss who he used to be, but he was still sure he made the right decision by giving up his powers.
John was already waiting at the front door doing what Sam was pretty sure he called the Yiddish Happy Dance. It reminded Sam of a giddy prospector character in one of the cartoons he used to watch as a child. John was sort of square dancing all by himself, something he only did when he was especially happy. He was probably a little happy for Jared and Jensen, but he mostly ecstatic because he'd get to spend lots of time alone with Buster before the rest of the kids came home.
"Where's my pudding pie!"
"Shh." Dean whispered. "He's sleeping. You need to gently massage his butt later."
"I do that anyway."
"Maybe you can give him a bath." Sam suggested. "He likes his baths."
"Oooh." John said seriously. "We both do. What's going on with the Janie?"
"Jared just said she was in labor when he called. We're going to leave Dean's car since the seats for Ollie and the babies are inside. They get off at three."
"I already told Jeremy he'd have to get them so I don't have to leave with Buster."
"Good plan." Dean nodded. "Lemme grab the bag and we can go."
"What bag?" Sam asked. "We're not staying there."
"It's a bag full of candy in case of emergencies. See? I wrote Jared's name on it with sparkle glue."
Dean presented the brown paper grocery bag with great pride. Jared's name was written in big blue glittery letters, which Sam was sure Dean had done to encourage Janie to have a boy. The bag weighed about ten pounds and was filled with a disgusting array of chemicals, sugar, and a few candy bars for good measure. Sam even spotted a whole cluster of Baby Ruth's which he planned on quality testing once they were in the road.
"I guess we should take my car. It's easier to park."
"Oh, no!" Dean laughed. "No kids, we gotta get there fast, we're taking my baby."
"Oh…" Sam whispered. "Long drive back too."
"Mmhmm."
"Daddy's going to blow daddy on the ride back." John told Buster. "Which is sinful."
"Dad!"
"Oh, come on." John said as he rolled his eyes. "You weren't the first one to get head while driving that car."
"Dad!" Sam groaned. "Don't be so sexy."
"I can't make any promises. You two get moving and be careful. I'll make my special dinner for the kids."
"Frozen pizza?"
"Exactly!"
Sam kissed on Buster, pulled Dean away from kissing him too much and then they both made their way to the garage. The Impala had a place of honor in the center stall of the garage. It was covered up, but Dean took care of that with one firm yank. The cover went flying and old faithful was gleaming like a giant black diamond. Dean opened the passenger door to let Sam in and then slid behind the wheel looking sexier than ever. The ride to New York usually took about an hour and Sam decided to spend that time face down in Dean's lap which was much tastier and sweeter than a Baby Ruth.
Dean drove to the hospital as fast as he could without breaking too many laws. He did go over the speed limit a couple of times, but that was really Sam's fault since he was being so flirtatious and bitey. By the time Dean finally got to the hospital his knees were weak, he wanted to take a nap, and was looking forward to making Sam drive home. Sam was as satisfied as ever even though he didn't get off he did get what he wanted which made both of them very happy.
After parking the car and rushing around like a chicken with it's head cut off Dean finally stopped and asked for directions to the maternity ward. A very nice woman, who seemed like she was a volunteer pointed them in the direction of the third floor, but warned that security was very tight. She knew they wouldn't have any problems getting through considering Sam owned controlling stock of the entire world, but she told them anyway and then winked which Dean thought was a little curious.
When they made it to the third floor Dean got what the wink was for. Before they even had a chance to step out of the elevator two cops stopped them. They were both big as houses and only let them pass once their names were located on a clipboard the older one was holding. At the reception desk there was another cop, who gave them a thorough inspection with his eyes and then another that wanted to look inside Dean's bag of candy.
Sam was losing his patience, but then yet another much friendlier cop showed up and led them down three separate hallways. If the cop hadn't been so nice Dean would have been terrified he was about to get ass raped, but it was obvious that Jared, or more likely Jensen, was very concerned about the safety and privacy of his new little family. Amy and Jenny didn't have any muscle at all let alone the veritable army that stood between any photographers and Janie.
The cop made one more left turn and then pushed and held open a set of double doors. Sam walked through first, but Dean was right behind him. He was sort of rushing and trying to get to Janie, Jared, and Jensen quickly, but Sam had stalled in the middle of the hallway and Dean ran right into him nearly knocking himself over in the process. He was tempted to shove Sam out of the way, but then he saw what had caused the holdup.
At the end of the long hall, next to what was clearly a very private room, Jared was standing with his back to them. He was probably thirty feet away and facing a window while pointing and talking very quietly. When Sam took a few steps forward Dean did the same and then cleared his throat causing Jared to very slowly turn around so he could point and whisper again.
"That's who I was telling you about." Jared whispered. "They're the reason I met daddy."
"Oh, my God." Sam said quietly. "Oh, Jared."
"I know, right?"
"Wow." Dean whispered. "Who's this?"
"This?" Jared asked. "This is my…baby."
Dean felt like screaming because he already knew who Jared was holding, but the baby must have been mere minutes old and like most wrapped up babies the sex was unclear. Whatever it was, it was cute as hell. The baby had a fine layer of dark fuzz over it's head, a cute little nose, and what looked like a foot and a half of forehead, but no clear signs of it's gender. Dean was getting awfully antsy and then it just got worse when Jared gave the baby to Sam first.
"Hello, beautiful!"
"Name?" Dean asked. "What's the name?"
"Dallas Michael Ackles-Padalecki."
"A boy!" Dean yelled. "He's perfect and named after my Mifoo!"
"Jensen insisted."
"Where is he?" Sam asked. "He okay?"
"Uh…" Jared said before he paused. "He will be. He's with Janie."
"Here Dean." Sam smiled. "Try this one on for size."
Dean felt like a kid on Christmas morning when Sam handed Dallas to him. It was an absolutely perfect name for an absolutely perfect baby. Because he was early he was a little on the small side, but Dean thought he was at least close to six pounds. When Dean kissed him on his forehead he opened his eyes for a second and then smacked his lips and closed them again. It was absolutely adorable and Dean just knew the baby was going to be so much cuter when Jensen was holding him.
When they got to the private room Janie was in bed looking exhausted but happy and beautiful. The room was very large with a little table some chairs, and even a rocking chair in the corner. Dean didn't see Jensen at all until he noticed the sofa that was sort of tucked away in a little alcove. The room was very softly lit and it took Dean a second to realize why Jared had said Jensen would be okay eventually.
"Oh, shit." Sam said. "Uh…"
"Dude." Dean whispered. "Awesome."
"Hey guys." Jensen said as he stood up. "This is Dallas' little brother."
"Look at his little ears!" Dean squealed. "What's his name!"
"Austin."
"Because San Antonio is a terrible name for a baby." Jared grumbled. "Apparently."
"Someone back me up."
"I would." Janie said weakly. "But I can't feel feelings."
"Oh, how are you?" Sam asked as he walked over. "What happened?"
Dean heard something about a c-section but then he completely tuned Janie out so he could scope out Austin. Dallas went back to Jared and Dean accepted Austin with open arms. He had a full head of pointy light brown hair, big gray eyes, a very defined cupid's bow and Mr. Potato Head ears. When Dean kissed him on the forehead his whole face scrunched up and then he immediately relaxed again. Both babies were beyond beautiful and as Dean suspected they looked even better in the arms of their very hunky daddies.
"Austin Michael." Jensen said. "I'm freaking out."
"No." Dean laughed. "You're not."
"I'm going to!"
"Don't. You're going to be great at this."
"I agree." Sam said as he walked back over to check out Austin. "Janie's out. What happened?"
"Dr. Baxter had already told her she was probably going to have a c-section. We didn't know anything about it until we got here."
"But everything went fine." Jared added. "We got to see her uterus. It's like a basketball made out of meat with babies inside. Now I think all basketballs are filled with babies."
"Right!" Sam laughed. "Oh, guys. They're both so beautiful. Your parents should be here in a few hours. I tried my best."
"We appreciate it, Sam." Jensen smiled. "I think Dallas looks a lot like me."
"And look at Austin. See this little mole?"
Austin's 'mole' looked more like a little blotch in his skin and Dean was pretty sure his lips, along with Dallas' forehead were at least as accurate as any DNA test. It was totally obvious that Austin was Jensen's and Dallas was Jared's and either they were totally blinded by love, completely dense, or they were just joking around. Unfortunately Dean, and apparently Sam as well, couldn't tell which it was so they both just sort of smiled and nodded. Either way it didn't matter which baby had come from which gravy because both babies were undeniably theirs.
"Excuse me." A nurse whispered as she walked into the room. "Time for the boys to head to the nursery for a while."
"They need to eat." Jared said defensively. "Austin is clearly starving. Look at him. He'll have the cheeseburger. Dallas will have the side salad and a steak. Medium rare."
"Yeah, we need to feed them. Where's the baby menu?"
"They'll be…"
"I'd like to speak to your supervisor." Jensen said as he stepped in front of Jared. "Babies need to eat."
"Okay." Sam said before he fought a chuckle. "Let's all calm down."
"He's starving!"
"Jared, he's like ten minutes old." Dean said. "They both are, and the restaurant is currently closed."
"Sam, go wake her up. Slap her."
"She needs to sleep, they need to sleep, and in a few hours everyone will be ready for something to eat. Right, nurse?"
"Yes, sir, Mr. Winchester. Mr. Ackles, Mr. Padalecki, they've just spent the past few months eating every time their mother did."
"She's our surrogate." Jared whispered. "There's no mommy."
"Two daddies." Jensen added. "We're going to keep them in here if you don't mind. That will be all."
The poor nurse looked over at Dean with the most helpless look on her face. She was absolutely right and the babies probably had no interest in nursing. Ollie waited a whole day before he took a bottle and Ethan and Evan went almost twice as long. There was nothing wrong with Jared and Jensen keeping the babies in the room, but the nurses probably had some things they needed to do, things that would be a lot easier to do in the nursery. Jared and Jensen didn't seem to get that and as the tension in the room grew they started looking more and more defensive.
"Dean." Sam whispered. "I think this is why you're here…"
"Oh, right. Guys, let the nurse take the babies so they can get some sleep or else they won't be strong enough to eat."
"But they're like angels! They taste like pudding!"
"Dude." Jared said. "You tasted Austin while I was showing Dallas the big city?"
"Of course I…didn't." Jensen said as his eyes darted around the room. "No."
"Hmmm."
"Jared." Sam said. "Take the baby out of your mouth."
"Come on, guys. Let us buy you some lunch and before you know it they'll be ready for something to eat."
"He dof kinda tafe like puddin'."
"Are you chewing?" Jensen shrieked. "Don't chew on him!"
"Uh… nop."
Jared opened his mouth and let Austin have back his hand before he put him in the little cart the nurse had wheeled in with her. Jensen stayed perfectly still and seemed to be looking for the quickest escape route, but eventually, after what Dean thought had to be five minutes, he carefully set Dallas down and then kissed both babies. After Jared did the same the very understanding nurse exited the room quietly and quickly. The very second she was gone Jensen began to actually blubber and Jared's face turned crimson.
"Who does she think she is!"
"They taste like pudding and smell like clouds in heaven!"
"I'm Jared fucking Padalecki with a ten inch cock! I could buy and sell this place!"
"Their little hands with the little fingers? They're like little candies!"
"I'm going to punch her."
"Their butts look like two little pillows! They have little cashew penises!"
"That's it! I'm punching her right in the cooze!"
"Say something, Sam." Dean whispered. "They're both crazy."
"I want to taste the babies!" Sam wailed. "And look at their butts!"
Dean elbowed Sam in the ribs, but it did absolutely no good. He practically flung himself into Jensen's open arms and they wailed together about pillow butts, pudding fingers, and fat little empty tummies. Since the menstruation nation didn't seem too dangerous Dean let them sob together while he did his best to calm Jared down. He wanted to punch the nurse in the cooze, then the face, and then he settled on the boobs. Dean managed to talk him down to giving her a nasty look but Jared was still drafting an angry letter in his head.
Once Sam snapped out of his temporary lapse into complete and utter uselessness he took Jensen's hand and led him out of the room. Dean did the same with Jared and together the four of them made it all the way to the cafeteria which was actually really nice for a hospital. Dean bought a couple of sandwiches, Sam got a few cups of coffee and a smoothie and then everyone sat at a quiet secluded table in the back. Dean wanted to stay there for at least a half hour, but judging by how twitchy the new daddies were he thought he'd be lucky to get five minutes.
"I miss our babies."
"We have babies." Jared whispered. "We made them."
"They're made of gumdrops."
"Which one do you like better?"
"I…I don't know." Jensen frowned. "Dean, do you like Mary or Milo better?"
"Mary."
"Dean!"
"Oh, come on." Dean said. "I love them both but everyone knows there's always one evil twin, Jeremy, Ethan, Milo."
"I don't think I can pick one I like better."
"Jared." Sam said. "You don't have to."
"That's a relief because they're both perfect!"
Just for the hell of it Dean tried very hard to figure out who he really liked better. Evan was the sweetest child a parent could ask for, but Dean loved that Ethan was such a badass sometimes. Mary obviously was daddy's princess, but Milo was so funny and loving when he wanted to be. It was really impossible to choose and given enough time both Jared and Jensen would come to realize that each baby was their absolutely favorite in every possible way, but for the record, based on first impressions, Dean was pretty sure Dallas was the evil one.
"What do you two need?" Sam asked. "We can pick it up and bring it to the house so everything's ready when you get home."
"We need a ride back home with two car seats." Jensen said. "Dean?"
"No problem. I will gladly chauffeur."
"And we need double the baby necessities." Jared added. "From Pottery Barn. You know, the baby sleeper. Sam, will you see if the room is big enough for another crib?"
"Absolutely. Jensen, maybe you should call Maria. Wasn't she coming in next week?"
"Oh, Maria! Can you change her ticket for me?"
"No problem. Anything else?"
"We're gonna be okay, right?" Jensen asked. "With two of them?"
"Of course you are."
Two babies wasn't exactly easy, but Dean was beyond confident in Jared and Jensen's ability to be amazing parents. If two girls had come out he might have been concerned, but that was only because Jensen had somehow convinced himself that baby girls and baby boys were completely different in every possible way. Dean actually thought that Mary had maybe been a little easier than the boys because she couldn't projectile pee and as she got older she was a lot less interested in her private parts than the boys were. Dean wasn't exactly sure how they were going to handle puberty with her, but him and Sam could get through it because they were good parents.
The same went for Jared and Jensen. Even though they had only been parents for an hour or so Dean knew they'd be okay because they were just great with kids. Evan thought the world of both of them, and while Ollie was still traumatized by his big city bath he still thought they were pretty cool. Mary loved hanging out with them, and Ethan thought they were pretty okay. Buster seemed to like them well enough and Milo didn't count because he was a punk. Mikey had grown sort of tired of explaining things to Jared, but he still got excited when he knew they were coming over. That was a bunch of good endorsements from a very discerning crowd so it seemed very unlikely that Jared and Jensen were going to do something horribly wrong. They'd stumble, sure, but Dallas and Austin were in very good hands.
"He's right." Sam smiled. "You'll be fine. Just remember to ask for help, let Maria do her job, and remember we're only an hour away and Sean and Dan are right down the street."
"They are good parents." Jared shrugged. "If you overlook the bareback sex parties."
"Porter's close too." Dean added. "You've got a lot of support."
"Thanks, guys." Jensen said quietly. "I feel a little better."
"Good!"
"And we've actually got some other new too."
"Oh?"
"You tell them, Jared."
"Well." Jared started. "When we were in Los Angeles for the premiere…we did some other business."
"For the movie?"
"No, we sold the house. We're officially permanent residents of New York."
"Ooh!" Dean gasped. "That means you have nowhere else to go! You'll never leave me!"
"That's exactly what it means!"
"Don't you two have a huge house in Dallas too?"
"Shut up, Sam!"
"Yeah! Shut up, Sam."
"Don't you tell me to shut up!"
Jared and Jensen hadn't actually lived in the house in California for quite some time, but Dean always had a secret dread that they'd just up and move back one day. Without a best friend he'd have to go crawling back to Bruce or Alex to fill his gaping void and he didn't want to do that. Having the house gone meant that Jared and Jensen were committed to a life on the East coast and whenever Dean wanted to hang out with his buddy he'd be able to. Sam was also going to get to see Jared whenever he wanted, but it was hard to get too excited about that.
"We should celebrate." Dean suggested. "By eating a sandwich, drinking some coffee, and then going to check on the babies."
"We have babies! Kiss on me!"
Dean leaned across the table to kiss Jensen, but Jared pushed him out of the way while Sam rolled his eyes. After the kiss and a little something to eat the four of them made their way back upstairs. Janie was still out cold, but the nurse, who didn't get punched in the face let Jared and Jensen through into the little private nursery. Dean really wanted to go hold the babies again but he hung out with Sam and just watched. Jared picked up Austin and Jensen scooped up Dallas and together they brought them to the window that faced the hallway.
Hot guys were always going to be hot, but Dean had never seen Jared and Jensen look so incredibly handsome and bursting with happiness. They had big smiles on their faces that Dean captured with the camera on his phone so he could tell everyone back home about the newest additions to the extended family. The picture and text message went right through and exactly six seconds later Michael was screaming in Dean's ear about blowing off his afternoon class to come see the babies that were named after him.
Babies affected people in many different ways. When Mary saw new babies she immediately went through her vast collection of doll clothes to pick what she thought would be most appropriate which would explain why Sam had a picture on his desk of Buster in a very frilly and very pink dress. Mikey always wanted to know measurements to see how new babies stacked up against the size of other babies including himself when he was born. Ethan always wanted to do something horrible like getting a bunch of balloons and some string, while Evan without fail would beg and plead to hold a baby and smell it. Ollie was mostly into checking out any potential competition in the pageant circuit and Milo would of course have to spend at least two hours reminding everyone that he was Sam's baby.
When Sam saw babies all he wanted to do was have at least a dozen more with Dean. He took one look at Dallas and Austin and immediately decided that as soon as Amy popped they were going to steal her eggs in the night and stick them in whoever was willing and able. A few weeks ago Dean would have been on board, but now he was perfectly content with the babies he had and the sweet baby at home who was always going to be their last baby. Sam still wanted a dozen more, but if they were done he thought that Buster was the best possible baby to stop with.
The other thing babies did for both Sam and Dean was put them in the mood for loving. Sam had been fighting it all day and he actually had to turn Dean down when they happened to be in the restroom at the hospital. They fooled around a little, or a lot, on the ride back to the house, but blowjobs were for teenage boys, not big men who needed to be inside of each other, possibly at the same time with the aid of a marital aid aptly named "ole double dicky" Unfortunately that couldn't happen right away since they made it home in the middle of dinner and the kids wanted to hear about the babies and Dean wanted to rub Buster's butt for him.
"They are so cute!" Sam said as he took a piece of pizza. "Daddy and I have decided to have fifteen more!"
"Absolutely not!" Ethan said as he hit the table with his fist. "Mikey is cute."
"Thank you." Mikey said. "Pretty sure this is going to be a backhanded compliment though."
"Evan and me are ten thousand times cuter."
"There it is!"
"Then Ollie came out and he's as fat as a pig."
"Ethan! A so sweet!"
"Then those two with the hair." Ethan said as he pointed at the babies. "And those little dresses. Now there's Buster who makes Mikey looks like a pile of garbage that a homo puked on and then set on fire."
"I am so going to kick your ass one day." Mikey whispered. "The day you turn thirteen. Kickassmas!"
"Kick it!" Milo yelled. "Kick 'em!"
"Ethan." Evan sighed. "The word is hobo not homo and I told you that's not very nice."
"If they have another baby we're going to be ugly, look at Buster's butt! It's spectacular!"
Sam laughed a little and then looked over at the butt in question which was undeniably perfect in everyway. It was also exposed at the dinner table since Dean had Buster against his chest while he massaged his little white buns. John said Buster had been napping most of the day but he ate, they had a bath, and there were of course several butt massages. Dean did it the best though, which Sam knew from personal experience, he was just hoping Buster didn't grace them with any surprises which would plop right out on the dinner table.
"We're not having any more babies." Dean told the kids. "We can't risk it."
"Risk what, daddy?"
"Well, Mikey…There's a chance we could end up with another ginger. Obviously I don't carry that genetic defect, but daddy does."
"But he puts a lot of his baby stuff in you." Ethan frowned. "I don't know if I could handle another ginger baby. They're so gross and creepy."
"Whuh!" Milo yelled. "Mifoo! Where my Mifoo?"
"Well, baby." Sam said. "He's at the hospital making stinky in his pants every ten minutes because the tiny Texans are named after him."
"Stinky?" Milo asked. "My Mifoo?"
Sam nodded very seriously and Milo just shook his head before making a rat face. Michael hadn't actually shit himself, but he was close at least twice. He was also under the impression that Austin and Dallas were both named Michael, even though Jared and Jensen were both clear on their first and middle names. All Michael heard was his own name and he yelled, he cried, and he insisted on seeing the babies that were named in his prestigious honor. Once he got a hold of Dallas and Austin he yelled some more, cried some more, and then agreed that they both tasted like pudding and had little pillow butts. As far as Sam knew he was still at the hospital because "He ain't had nothin' else to be doin'" like spending time with Alex, getting notes on what he had missed in school from Ryan, or just plain studying.
"Was a baby pretty?" Mary asked. "They have two like Whoa?"
"They were both very pretty!" Dean nodded. "And just like you and Milo except two boys."
"Look the same?"
"Those are the best kinds of twins." Ethan said before he scoffed. "Only kind if you ask me."
"They don't look the same, not like Ethan and Evan."
"We." Ethan said as he touched Mary's hand. "Used to be the same person."
"What happen?"
"Daddy's sperm split us in two like the damn mighty hammer of Thor."
"Wow!"
"I know, right?"
"Right." Mary whispered. "Daddy sperm?"
"Mary." Sam said. "I am a very powerful man. That's why I'm the daddy and daddy's the mommy. Also why he sometimes wears lovely dresses. I buy them for him."
"He a daddy!"
"No!" Milo yelled. "He mommy. Mommy, more rooms."
"Am I a lady?" Dean asked. "Hmm?"
"Yes. A pretty lady."
"Eh, I'll take it."
Dean grabbed another slice of pizza and then placed it on Milo's plate so he could deconstruct it. First he pulled off all the mushrooms, his favorites, and placed them in a neat little pile. Then he removed the ham and did the same. Once all the toppings were gone he proceeded to eat the slice and then later he'd work on the ham and mushrooms one at a time. Sam wasn't entirely sure why he ate that way, but he sure did like it since Milo would make at least ten rat faces during the whole process which typically took him about fifteen minutes.
"How's that baby butt?"
"He's so sleepy." Dean said before he paused. "Maybe we should go upstairs and put him down."
"Both of us?"
"Well…he likes when we both tuck him in…and read him a story."
"Why don't you eat first, you must be starving."
"Oh, I am starving, Sammy."
"I'm nine." Mikey sighed. "Pretty sure you can't pretend you're going to put Buster down and read him an hour long story."
"Wha you gonna do, daddy?"
"We have to do our taxes. We'll be back in an hour or…"
"We'll be back eventually." Sam smiled. "Dad, can you continue watching the kids?"
"Don't you have a guy to do your taxes?" John asked. "And it's November."
"Oh, grandpa." Mikey said as he shook his head. "It's a good thing you're so handsome."
"Now wait a hot damn minute!" Ollie said. "You don even know!"
"What is it, baby?"
"A sparkle baby gwand winter festival is in a week. A need to pwactice, work on a moves, get a curls cut, spway tan, flippah, lots of diamonds…"
"Dad?" Sam sighed. "Did you let him watch television today?"
"Ollie, tell him what you told me."
"There is a lot of hot tail on the show and I like it."
"That's why Supernatural is so popular." Dean said before he sat back down. "How many episodes did he watch?"
"Like half of one."
"Daddy." Evan whispered. "It was a six hour marathon. Ollie wants fake teeth and a boob job."
Sam pinched the bridge of his nose and then sat back down as well since fooling around with Dean was going to have to wait. Ollie was staring at both of them and not eating which meant too much attention was being paid to new babies and not his big time debut in the sparkle hooker baby winter festival. It was getting closer and closer and he was getting more and more excited which was fine, but whenever he watched Toddlers and Tiaras, which Sam was pretty sure he had banned, Ollie's demands became even more outrageous. It was a problem especially because Ollie thought there was nothing wrong with a four year old getting a spray tan which Sam was never in a million years going to allow.
"I will take you to New Jersey this weekend to get your spray tan."
"Yay!"
"Dean!"
"Or we could use that special kit." Dean said seriously. "But it's so expensive…it is the best though. It's what all the really great hooker babies use."
"Wha?" Ollie said with wide eyes. "I want it!"
"What do you think, Sammy?"
Sam wasn't sure he had ever heard of a special spray tanning kit, but then he saw that little mischievous glint in Dean's eye, which was part of the reason he loved him so damn much. Ollie wanted something completely inappropriate for a child, but he had seen other children get it done. If they told him no he'd be upset for at least a week, but if they faked it he'd be happy as a pig and if Dean told him how tanned he looked he'd believe it. Dean was obviously going to buy some kind of body spray or maybe they could just fill up a squirt bottle with water and get Ollie to strip down so he could get his 'tan' on. It was amazing that Dean was able to come up with such an idea on the fly and even more amazing that Sam knew exactly what he was thinking.
"I don't think so!"
"Please daddy Sammy!"
"Do you promise to never watch that terrible television show again?"
"Gasp! Ultomato!"
"Exactly. Do we have a deal?"
"Well." Ollie said before he sighed. "Wha about a teeth?"
"Once I'm dead in the ground."
"Deal!"
Sam shook Ollie's hand and then stood up to exit the room before he could make anymore demands. Dean pretty much ran out of the room as well because it was obvious that Ollie was thinking. If the whole pageant thing made him happy Sam was going to be as supportive as possible, but he absolutely refused to let anyone spray paint his kids and like everyone else in the family he had nice, straight, white teeth. Sam had caved on allowing Billy to do hair and makeup, but that wasn't really an extravagance even though it was costing them more than the entrance fee.
Once they were upstairs Dean set Buster down for bed and shoved Sam backwards all in the same motion. Sam hit the bed sideways and nearly fell off and before he could even straighten himself up Dean was pulling at his belt, trying to get off his jeans, and push his legs into the air at the same time. Sam knew exactly what he was trying to get at and that was fine, but before they fooled around they needed to talk.
"Baby."
"Shh." Dean whispered. "Tell me you want me to tear it up."
"I do." Sam said as he struggled to keep his underwear on. "But…"
"Yeah, leave 'em on. I'll eat my way through to that sweet pus…"
"Dean!"
"Come on!" Dean yelled as he pointed at his crotch. "Look at that!"
"It's the most delightful tent I've ever seen, but I need to talk to you about Ollie."
"It's taken care of. We'll slap a fake label on that spray Evian crap Billy is always telling you to use. Give up that ass, sweet cheeks!"
"Five minutes."
"Might as well be a million years!" Dean said as he collapsed in the bed next to Sam. "I get to break out the toy box and use whatever I want."
"Fine."
"Maybe then you can use two toys with me."
"You sick bastard. Our baby is sleeping not ten feet away."
"He's fine!"
Sam was all for doing whatever Dean wanted and he wasn't concerned about a sleeping and sheltered infant napping a good distance away from the bed. He didn't even care much about Dean's obsessive need to have ever sex toy they had in his ass at the same time. What did concern Sam was the pageant. He knew Ollie would do his best because he was charming, obscenely adorable, and he had everything he needed. Ollie didn't really worry Sam because he'd be happy just competing and maybe getting a little trophy.
The problem was Dean who always wanted to make his children happy. He'd listen to Mikey practice piano for hours. He had his own pair of ballet socks so he could let the twins coach him, and he'd have endless tea parties with Mary and never correct Milo when he called him 'Mommy." There was a very good chance, at least somewhere in the 95% range that Dean would see Ollie in his first real pageant and become the most horrible thing Sam could ever imagine.
"Promise me you won't become a pageant dad."
"I'm not sure what you mean, but I don't see why you can't talk while I'm making out with your butt."
"You know exactly what I mean. I saw you mimicking his western wear routine the other day."
"We were practicing!"
"You told him he needed to be sassier."
"He was sassier, wasn't he!"
"Yes, absolutely. Just promise me you won't be the creepy dad dancing along in the audience."
"Sammy." Dean laughed. "I won't be doing that until Mary starts competing. Now grab your ankles and shut the hell up."
"Mary won't be…hey!"
"I said shut up." Dean said as he yanked off Sam's underwear. "And get your legs in the air."
Sam tried to resist, he really did, but not having sex with Dean was unnatural, an almost criminal act. Instead of fighting it Sam just gave in and within thirty seconds his head was turned sideways so he could bite down on the pillow to stop himself from shouting out loud enough for the entire house to hear. It was a good thing Sam did give in because Dean was practically animalistic and there was no telling what waiting a few more minutes might have done to him.
For a while Dean practiced his favorite art form and then crawled on top of Sam while he unbuckled his own belt and unbuttoned his jeans. On occasion they did break out the box of toys and they definitely had a whole lot of fun, but Sam knew he was going to have Dean all to himself without the aid of anything. It was pretty damn spectacular, but Sam noticed something off almost immediately. It wasn't Dean's style or the fantastic rhythm he was keeping. That was all normal, run of the mill even, but Dean was whispering his naughty pleasantries and nothing else.
Normally when someone had a baby they'd both get pretty frisky and come home to celebrate in the only way Sam thought two brothers should celebrate. They'd make love and it would be perfect because it always was, but usually it was a little more perfect because Dean would be telling Sam about having kids. When Jenny was pregnant with Buster all Sam heard about after Henry was born was their new perfect baby that was on the way. They didn't have any babies on the way and they wouldn't have any babies on the way again so Dean didn't mention them and Sam missed it. He missed it so much that his own orgasm kind of snuck up on his causing him to cry out in ecstatic surprise.
"Shh." Dean whispered. "You like that?"
"Yeah." Sam shuddered. "Yeah, I like when you do that."
"You made a mess."
"Look who's talking."
"I'll take care of it."
"Don't you always?"
Dean grinned and then kissed Sam's neck, across his chest, and then down his stomach. Sam was shuddering again within moments but he managed to silence the noise by gripping the back of Dean's head. They could have easily gone another round, but Dean had been so thorough that Sam was exhausted. He just wanted to roll over and call it a night even though it was barely past seven and the kids all needed baths before they went to sleep.
"Outstanding." Dean said as he laid back. "Hand me my phone?"
"Why?"
"So I can text message dad and tell him to take the kids to his house."
"You are brilliant."
"It's been said. You okay?"
"Of course." Sam smiled. "I'm great."
"Put your head on my mighty chest and tell me your problems."
"It's nothing." Sam said as he moved over. "I just realized we're really done having kids."
"Those two were cuties today, huh?"
"Yeah, they were."
"I thought you were okay with not having anymore."
"I am. I just…I hate that it's not on our terms."
"Me too, Sammy."
Sam having more kids just wasn't an option. He kept hearing from several sources that he was absolutely run of the mill human and normal, but there really was no telling what might have been lurking in his blood. He couldn't risk what that might do to a child so he was out. Dean would have been an option, but after what he went through with Buster there was no way he'd father another child. He understood that the premature birth wasn't his fault or Jenny's and that Buster's birth was a pawn for God to manipulate all of them, but another pregnancy just wasn't something he could deal with especially if he was the baby daddy. They were also out of surrogates and fine with eight kids, but Sam still hated that he didn't have the option.
"You didn't even think about it when you were holding Austin and Dallas?"
"Of course I did." Dean laughed. "But I think you and I are done, Sammy. This summer we're getting a new baby and you know Alex and Michael aren't going to stop until that house is busting at the seams."
"Good point."
"And…"
"What?"
"And…" Dean said before he sighed. "If there comes a day when the kids are getting older and doing their own thing and we want more…there are so many kids out there who need homes. So many kids that need parents like us."
"You want to adopt one day?"
"Maybe." Dean shrugged. "If…if things were different, Charlie would still be in a home with a bunch of other kids that no one wants."
"Oh, Dean, I'm not sure we could…"
"I'm not saying we'd adopt someone who needed the level of care he did, but I think I would want to adopt a kid who might not find a family otherwise."
"I love you, you know that, right?"
"Yeah, Sammy, I do."
Sam wasn't really sure what the future held for them, another little perk of being all normal and human, but he knew he was always going to be surrounded by the people he loved the most, his family. The option to have more kids would have been spectacular, but Sam couldn't help but feel he was already pretty damn lucky when it came to being a daddy. The kids he had with Dean were all perfect, Michael was turning out to be one hell of a man, and maybe in the future they'd get the chance to welcome someone else into the family, someone who would need big brothers and a big sister, someone who needed loving and caring parents, and grandparents who threw the best slumber parties ever.
That night Sam fell asleep with his head on Dean's chest and dreamed about the son or daughter they might have one day. The child probably wasn't going to look like the rest of the kids or act like them but they'd accept him or her anyway and be the best brothers and sister any kid could hope for and Dean would continue to be the very best father in the world.