(no subject)

[bitchandjerk]

Today I got a job. How you like me now?

Title: A Solitary Man.
Author: bitchandjerk
Characters: Sam/Dean,John/Mary/OFC OMCs OFCs Jared/Jensen,
Rating :R
Words10,000/3,518,900
Warnings: Wincest
Summary: After attending the book signing for Seven Devils, Sam gets a phone call and some startling news. Dean dresses up like a lion.
Notes:: AU, rest are here.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.
Feedback: Makes me hard



The rain started very early on Friday morning. Sam wasn't sure of the exact time, but he knew he was in bed by two after the party and that he could hear the rain on the rooftop. When he woke up five hours later it was still raining. It rained while he made breakfast for the kids and sent them off to school with Alex, it rained while he was getting dressed for the day and it was still coming down when he left the house to attend the book signing for Seven Devils, which according to his watch had been on sale for exactly eight hours.

Normally when Sam had events Dean came along to provide support and to act as 'muscle', but he was at home nursing an upset stomach. He hadn't had much to drink so Sam didn't think it was a hangover. It just seemed like he had either eaten something bad at the party or eaten too much of something good which was very possible. Either way he stayed behind in bed with Buster while Sam went to the signing alone. Dean had insisted he bring someone with him but Sam really wanted the time alone, in fact he sort of needed it.

Even with the rain getting to the bookstore was no problem. When he arrived an army of police officers met him and escorted him into the back of the store where the crowd wasn't so dense, there were a lot of people standing in the pouring rain but Sam made it inside without incident. After making sure he looked okay in the manager's office Sam put on his best smile and went out to greet his fans. He had already decided against a reading so instead of an audience filled with chairs he was greeted with a line exactly six hundred people long that snaked out of the store, across the parking lot, and into the pouring rain.

In order to avoid any kind of chaos all the people who wanted their books signed had been issued a ticket and Sam was just a little bit disturbed to heard that the woman in position number one had been staked out for three days. He heard the same story over and over again until lucky number two hundred and ten who informed him she had only been waiting two and a half days. By the time he was at the halfway point the waiting time was down to two days, Sam's hand was cramped up, his jaw hurt from smiling, and he was seeing spots from all the camera flashes.

Four and five hundred were all a blur. When Sam got to five hundred and fifty he got a second wind and started to cut the small talk even shorter. He stopped personalizing copies and the manager put an end to the pictures, which was like a glorious gift from heaven. When all was said and done Sam had signed his name six hundred times and he was feeling the pain. The whole being completely human gig certainly wasn't a walk in the park, but in a way Sam liked the ache, he liked feeling like he had worked because it made him feel really ordinary.

Sam was feeling so ordinary in fact that he decided to treat himself to a nice cup of coffee as a reward for a morning at work. It was just past eleven which meant he had a full hour to get home before lunch to check on Dean and Buster who were probably still in bed either napping or cuddling or both. Sam's favorite coffee place was a little out of the way but it had a drive-thru which meant he wouldn't have to go inside and get gawked at which was always nice.

After he placed his order at the window, with a woman who gawked, Sam took a moment to just enjoy the gloomy day. He hadn't like getting in and out of the car in the rain, but rainy days were just really nice. With Dean sick at home there was even a chance of an afternoon nap before the kids came back home and everyone knew that rain was the very best weather to nap in. Rainy days were also particularly appropriate for receiving bad new which Sam was about to deal with first hand. As soon as he had his cup of piping hot coffee his phone rang and because Dean was sick Sam answered it right away expecting to hear quite a bit of adorable whining.

"Hello?"

"Sam, hi. How are you?"

"Um…fine. Who's this?"

"Norris. Officer Norris."

"Oh." Sam whispered. "Hi, I'm good, how are you?"

"Not bad. Saw the movie last night at midnight."

"Oh, did you enjoy it?"

"It was great. I think the sex scene officially made me bi-curious though."

"Well, stop by the house in uniform and Dean and I will be glad to extinguish any lingering doubt."

"Excuse me?"

"Joke." Sam laughed. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Well…"

When Sam heard the sigh he was at a red light and it seemed like Norris took the longest pause ever. Sam liked Norris a lot, he was a great guy, and he had done a lot for the entire family, but calls from cops, especially cops in the know were never welcomed. While Sam waited an eternity to find out what the problem was a million things ran through his mind. He was worried someone had been hurt, but ruled that out based on the casualness of the call and then Sam worried that whatever the problem was might require heavenly intervention and help from a certain angel with a hard on for Dean and a two foot stick up his ass.

"You know the Blue Ridge motel outside of town?"

"Yeah. What about it?"

"I'm in room five. Can you meet me here?"

"What's this about?"

"I'm not entirely sure. Can you make it?"

"I'll be there in five minutes."

"Thanks, Sam. Appreciate it."

As soon as Sam closed his phone the light turned green and he made a left instead of a right. The motel wasn't a place Sam was really acquainted with because he tended towards upscale hotels with expensive sheets, not motels that smelled like industrial bleach and stale fried chicken. It wasn't so long ago that Sam called such motels home, but he had moved on up and had absolutely no problem with a little bit of lodging snobbery. That snobbery was further solidified when Sam made it to the motel a few minutes later, because it needed a coat of paint to be an actual dump.

The structure had probably been built some time in the sixties and it hadn't seen many upgrades since then. There was an office in the front, six rooms on either side, and what at one point may have been a pool in the back. Somehow the motel was still in business which Sam accredited to people who took advantage of the hourly rates that were advertised. It was amazing to Sam that he was still technically in Westport which wasn't big on broke down motels, hookers, or really anything that wasn't as sweet as apple pie.

Sam found Norris' squad car and parked right next to it which was right in front of room number five. On the drive over Sam had thought of a hundred different thing and he was convinced there would be a grisly supernatural murder inside the motel room, but there was no police tape, no other cop cars, and the door was actually cracked. Sam took that as an invitation to walk right in which he very quickly realized was one of the biggest mistakes he could have made.

"Sam, that was quick."

"Oh, my God." Sam whispered. "Oh…Jesus…"

"Sam?" Norris asked. "You okay?"

"No, I can't say that I am."

"Sit down." Norris said before pulling over a chair. "Someone was renting this room by the week. The bill was due two days ago and the manager hasn't seen the guy renting it for a while. He was worried so he came in and found…this."

"How'd you get involved?"

"He thought it looked suspicious and called the police. Buddy of mine knew we were friends so he sent me out. I thought I should talk to you first."

"Thanks for calling me."

Sam sat down in the chair, put his coffee on the table next to it, and then just admired what was probably the nicest room in the motel. The carpet was much cleaner than Sam expected, the bed was made with the kind of care that a motel maid would never bother with, and most importantly the room was decorated. There was the standard faded motel art work on one wall, but there was also a nice looking throw at the foot of the bed, there were wilted daisies in a vase on the dresser, and most importantly there were dozens of photographs in cheap plastic frames everywhere Sam looked.

On the nightstand there was a picture of the entire family as the last thing someone would see before going to bed. On the countertop next to the bathroom there was a picture of Sam with Ethan and Evan when they were just babies. There were pictures of Aaron and Jeremy, pictures of John, endless pictures of the kids, and what Sam was going to go ahead and assume was the entire magazine spread from the wedding. The most prominent picture in the room was over the decade old television set. It was an eight by ten in a much nicer cheap frame and it was John's absolute favorite. He had a sixteen by twenty of it in his man cave and he adored it because he said it was "his boys" at their best.

"Sam, you're crying. If this is some crazy person we'll find him. I'll have someone at the house around the clock."

"Why do you think he's crazy?"

"Most of these pictures are from magazines."

"Did you get a description from the manager?"

"Yeah." Norris said as he pulled out a notepad. "Tall, muscular, Caucasian male, shaved head with several tattoos. The manager said he's a real nice guy. Ring a bell?"

"You could say that."

"Who is this guy, Sam? Do you know where he is?"

"He's my brother." Sam said as he looked over. "And he's buried in my backyard."

"Please tell me you didn't just confess to having a body buried in your backyard."

"I wish I could."

Sam got up from where he was sitting to really inspect the picture over the television. He had no idea where Abel had gotten it from but it seemed like demons were capable of pretty much anything. The photo was taken during the summer before last in South Carolina and everyone looked so happy. John was beaming in the middle, Dean was next to him looking as handsome as ever. Sam was on the other side with his arm over John's shoulder and Jeremy and Aaron were on end of the group. As he looked at the picture Sam wondered how often Abel had done the same and pretended he was standing in Jeremy's place. No one would have blamed him because Sam was sure just about anyone would have given anything to be apart of such a happy and handsome family.

"Your brothers don't have shaved heads or tattoos."

"Abel did…well, the guy he was possessing did."

"Abel?"

"The demon Dean sent to hell. He died a few days ago. Did he commit some crime here?"

"No, no." Norris said. "The manager was just worried and there's the bill I guess. I can help you pack this stuff up if you want."

"Why would I do that?"

"You don't want to leave his stuff here, do you? The manager is just going to throw it away."

"I'm going to keep it here."

"Sam, you just said he passed, he's not coming back, is he?"

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure."

"I uh…" Sam said before reaching in his back pocket. "Can you take my credit card and pay for the room."

"For how long?"

"Maybe tell the manager to just keep it on file."

"I'm going to call Dean and…"

"He's at home sick with the baby. I appreciate the help."

"Okay, I'll be right back."

"Take your time."

Once Sam had the room to himself he did something rather odd. He knew it was odd, and he knew Norris would think it downright strange so Sam locked and bolted the door so he could have a little privacy. Once that was done he took out his phone, scrolled through his impressive collection of underappreciated music to find something particularly fitting. It was a sad song that filled the room and drowned out the rain giving Sam the cover he needed to really break down. He sobbed quietly at first and then just let loose which he really needed.

He let it all out as he walked around the room looking at all the pictures remembering when each one was taken. It seemed like just yesterday the babies were born and they were turning two in less than two days. Sam could still taste the wedding cake even though every piece of it was long gone. He remembered the warmth on his back in South Carolina and the sweat on John's brow after roughhousing with the kids. Sam had so many amazing memories, even the bad one were still better than nothing which was what Abel had. He had to sit in the motel room surrounded by everything he hadn't been apart of and it was heart breaking.

It affected Sam so severely that he eventually had to sit and then lie down on the bed. It was obvious a maid hadn't been in the room because she would have said something about the pictures so Sam assumed that Abel was making the bed himself. It was very nicely done, but even a straight bedspread and fluffed pillows couldn't hide a crappy cheap mattress. Sam was flat on his back for just a few seconds before he was squirming and trying to get comfortable, which wasn't going to happen, something that wasn't entirely the mattress' fault.

After quickly standing up Sam shoved the mattress halfway off the box spring to uncover a rather thick leather covered book with an engraved A on the cover. It had a buckle holding it shut and was similar to John's journal except it was a lot thicker and the size of a standard textbook. Sam's fingers, his whole body was trembling as he tried to undo the buckle, which must have been the most complicated buckle in the world given the time it took him to get it open. When he finally got it open Sam was forced to sit right back down because the book was exactly what he thought it was.

"Sam!" Norris yelled from outside. "I'm a cop. I get a bonus at work for every door I kick down."

"I'm coming!" Sam yelled back. "Don't kick down the door."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Sam said as he opened the door. "My brother just died, I just wanted to be alone with his things for a while."

"Why don't you let me drive you home?"

"I appreciate the offer, but I'm fine."

"Are you going home?"

"Lunch isn't going to fix itself." Sam smiled. "Thank you for everything."

"Just doing my job, Sam. Here's the credit card and the key. The manager said he'll charge you whenever you're done with the room."

"Thanks."

"See you around?"

"Of course. Stop by the Halloween party for the center tonight."

"Cool, can I bring a date?"

"Absolutely."

Norris smiled and did that awkward straight guy hug thing that always made Sam feel a little weird. He short of shrugged into him and then made a point of making sure Norris saw him locking the motel room door from the outside and then walking back towards his car. Sam intended on just stalling until he could get back into the motel room, but Norris was a good cop which meant he wasn't stupid. He got in his own car, pulled out the radio and started a game of chicken to see who would back out first. Sam fussed with his rearview mirror, pretended to text someone, and checked himself out while Norris stayed parked next to him with the radio, and then a clipboard, and then his own phone.

Sam quickly realized he was fighting a losing battle so he put his car in reverse and headed back towards the nice part of town which just so happened to be in the same direction the house was. When he stopped at a red light a block down Sam finally saw Norris back out of the parking lot as well. Sam could have rounded the corner and gone back to the motel room to be alone with the Abel's journal, but instead he made a choice to not cope with the pain he was feeling on his own.

After two more stop lights, three turns, and a stray duck crossing the street Sam parked the car again and then exited with the journal under his arm. Someone smiled at him on the street, someone else rushed to open a door, and finally a young woman blushed and smiled like she was getting picked up for prom. Everyone was so polite and kind and Sam smiled back, but he had been in the public eye long enough to know how and when to fake it. In fact he was getting to be a bit of an expert at faking it.

"Mr. Winchester! What a delightful surprise!"

"Hello." Sam smiled. "Looks like the rain's letting up."

"For now. There's more on the way. Congratulations on the movie and your new book. I've heard quite a bit of chatter."

"All good I would hope?"

"Absolutely sir, absolutely!"

"That's wonderful."

"What would you like sir? On the house of course."

"How generous." Sam said. "I thought I'd reward myself for a job well done with wine."

"What would you prefer, sir?"

"Surprise me." Sam smiled. "Whatever's good."

"One glass coming up."

"You can leave the bottle."

"Oh…very well, sir…and for lunch?"

"Just the wine, thank you."

The owner of the restaurant rushed off and returned just a minute later with a sparkling crystal glass and what was probably a sixty dollar bottle of red. It wasn't the best Sam had but it wasn't the worst either. By the second glass his opinion of the wine had improved and by the fourth it went up yet again. When he started his second bottle Sam thought the wine was the second most delicious thing that had ever slid past his lips and when it was almost empty he finally put the journal on the table in front of him and began to read while the staff at the restaurant exchanged worried glances and whispers.

Dean was sound asleep when he received a rather rude awakening. It wasn't the alarm, the doorbell, or his phone ringing, instead it was several tiny fingers jammed straight up his left nostril. After Dean bolted awake and rubbed at his nose he saw the very mischievous smirk on Buster's face. He was staring at the ceiling and trying to play it cool but Dean was absolutely certain that his sweet baby boy had just tried to kill him and a brutal punishment was in order.

"Patricide! And I'm a doctor so that's doctorcide! How do you plead?"

Buster looked over towards the sound of Dean's voice, smiled a little bit, and then farted in an effort to maintain his innocence. Unfortunately for him that was the same tactic Sam always used so Dean knew what guilt looked like. He hated being strict with the kids, but if they weren't punished they'd never learn. Buster was still too young to know the difference between right and wrong, but Dean wasn't letting attempted murder slide. The punishment had to fit the crime so Dean unsnapped Buster's onesie, blew raspberries on his tummy and then removed his socks to eat his feet.

"You are the naughtiest thing I've ever seen! Daddy's tummy feels better so he's going to eat your feet off and then…doorbell. Huh. I'm sure daddy Sammy is back by now, gimme that belly!"

Dean attacked Buster's belly again after a few seconds the doorbell rang twice very rapidly. It was way after lunch so Sam should have been back from the signing, but there was a very good chance he was running late. Dean groaned into Buster's belly, gave him a kiss as a pardon and then snapped him back into his clothes so they could leave the comfort of the bed. On the way down the stairs Dean didn't smell anything delicious for lunch like the soup he always had when he wasn't feeling great so it was obvious that Sam was still out.

"Do you think grandpa is coming to see you?" Dean asked as he opened the door. "Maybe it's a…village person."

"Dean."

"Are you here to arrest me?"

"Are you breaking any laws?"

"Just eating babies." Dean said before he suddenly got frantic. "What's wrong?"

"It's Sam."

"Oh, my God…Oh, God, what…"

"No, no!" Norris said as he held up his hands. "Not like that, he's fine!"

"What the hell!" Dean yelled. "Don't show up on my door and tell me Sam got killed!"

"I'm pretty sure I didn't say that."

"You just said he got torn apart by snowmobiles!"

"No, I didn't!"

"Well, that's what I imagined!"

"Can I come in?"

"Sure." Dean sighed. "Jesus. I gotta feed the baby. Did something happen at the signing?"

"No, nothing like that."

Dean felt like clocking Norris, but the uniform was so sexy and assaulting a cop wasn't a good way to start Buster's first Halloween. Actually sleeping through lunch probably wasn't for the best either. It was amazing that Buster hadn't woken Dean up earlier because he was on a very strict schedule especially when it came to his meals. They were only an hour off, but in baby time that was like three hours. Still, Buster hadn't cried or fussed and he seemed perfectly content to wait patiently while Dean warmed a bottle.

"What's going on?"

"I called Sam a few hours ago because we found a motel room his brother was staying in."

"Abel?" Dean asked. "Oh, shit. You didn't let him go there, did you?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, man."

"He seemed pretty upset. When he left he said he was coming home, but I went around the corner and followed him."

"You trailed Sam without him knowing?" Dean asked. "Impressive."

"I try. He went to that little French place in town and downed a bottle of wine like it was going out of style."

"So instead of making sure he didn't drink and drive you came here?"

"After I told the owner to not let him leave."

"Huh." Dean whispered. "You just get more and more impressive."

"I feel awful."

"Don't. You didn't know what was going on. Can you feed the baby while I change? You'll drive me to pick him up?"

"No problem. Come here, buddy."

Dean was all prepared to give him fifteen minute power point presentation on how to properly hold Buster, but Norris didn't give him enough time. Instead of waiting for the handoff, he took Buster out of Dean's arms and into his own and then plopped the bottle in his mouth. Buster was obviously completely insulted and a little bit indignant judging just by the way he was eyeing Norris, but Dean was very impressed. Very few people measured up to his standards and no one managed to do it without any practice. Norris was the obvious exception and a threat to Dean's manhood.

"Do you have kids?"

"Nieces and nephews."

"Huh."

"I think he likes me."

"We're all suckers for men in uniform."

"Who's my chubby buddy? Yeah, he's a hungry man."

"Dude." Dean whispered. "We need to get you a wife."

"Working on it. Are we taking Buster with us?"

"No, I think dad's home. I'll call him."

"Okay. I have this under control. Go change."

After sprinting up the stairs Dean placed a call with his babysitter who was at home thinking of coming to visit Buster anyway. Dean neglected to tell John why he had to leave and luckily he didn't ask, he just said he'd be on his way and that he was coming with his secret stash of Halloween candy. Just hearing about the candy made Dean's stomach growl and he remembered Buster wasn't the only one who had slept through lunch. It would have been nice to grab a quick sandwich, but Dean was worried about Sam so he pushed it out of his mind while he pulled on a pair of jeans, a comfy hoodie, and his favorite boots.

By the time he got back downstairs John was in the kitchen grilling Norris who was telling him everything like he was getting paid to do so. John looked concerned, which was natural, but Dean put him at ease by promising that once again he'd save the day. He also promised John could give Buster a bath before the auction which made him completely forget about Sam and probably everything else. Buster was particularly vocal during his baths and Dean figured John could chat with him for a while about all sorts of things.

"Wow." Dean said once they were on the road. "Never been in the front seat of a cop car."

"Been in the back?"

"Fairly often."

"Didn't you get arrested a few years ago for punching a guy at the country club?"

"He said the n-word." Dean said before folding his arms across his chest. "It offended me."

"You're a rebel."

"I once got arrested for grave robbing too."

"What else?"

"Uh, assault, breaking and entering, suspicion of forty different things."

"Why doesn't any of that show up?"

"Because demons are good for something."

"How law abiding." Norris said. "Do you need me to come in with you?"

"No, I'll be fine. Thanks for doing this. I appreciate it."

"It's no problem, Dean."

Dean was pretty good at reading people and if he wasn't he still would have know the exact kind of man Norris was. He was kind, generous, and incredibly brave. All those things were written on his face, but Dean could also see the conflict in his eyes. He saw how Norris wanted to follow the law and what he was sworn to protect, but at the same time he knew more than other people, he knew things he didn't want to know. That kind of conflict wasn't easy to live with, but somehow, Norris was dealing. He was making calls days by day and he knew when he was a cop and when he had to be something more, like when it came to Sam.

After a few more minutes Norris pulled up to the restaurant and parked next to Sam's car. Dean thanked him, made sure he was coming to the auction, and then stepped out. The rain had slowed to a drizzle and with it came a drastic drop in temperature. Yesterday had been so nice, it was the perfect temperature, but now Dean could feel Winter on his heels. It made him hungry for turkey and hot chocolate and sitting with the kids in front of the fire under a blanket reading a Christmas book. Dean lived for the holidays and there was no way he was going to enjoy them if Sam wasn't happy.

The restaurant, which Dean had never been to, was completely empty when he stepped up to the entrance. When he tried to open the door it protested which just made him pull harder. After a third attempt Dean realized it was locked and the restaurant was closed down. The sign next to the door said it stayed open until midnight which meant that Sam had probably had a few too many glasses of wine and then ordered everyone out so he could be alone. Dean's suspicions were confirmed when a man in his forties came rushing towards the door to let him inside. As soon as Dean was inside the man locked the door again and then did a weird sort of bowing handshake.

"Mr. Winchester, what a…"

"Where is he?"

"In the back, sir, around the corner. He bought everyone lunch and then asked them to leave."

"How much has he had to drink?"

"Two bottles of wine."

"So…" Dean said before he paused. "You gave him two bottles of wine in the middle of the day and didn't think that was odd?"

"Sir, I mean no offense, but I didn't dare tell him no."

"Oh…good point. I'm going to need some lunch."

"What would you like, Mr. Winchester?"

"Steak?" Dean asked. "Little pink in the middle with some French fries."

"Anything to drink, sir?"

"What the hell, bring me a beer."

After the manager rushed off towards the kitchen Dean took a deep breath and prepared himself for the worst. He expected to find a sloppy drunk Sam bawling his eyes and maybe pounding his fists on the table in frustration, but there was an equally good chance Dean would find an empty table and several traumatized waiters with black eyes. Sam wasn't a consistent drunk at all so Dean walked towards the back of the restaurant hoping at the very least they could avoid some kind of lawsuit.

There were no traumatized waiters to be seen and Sam wasn't bawling, though it was obvious he had cried and was currently very upset. A half full glass of wine was on the left of the table and a steaming cup of coffee was on the right. Dean took that as a very good sign, but then he got closer and saw that Sam was very focused on reading something. At first Dean thought it was a book he picked up at the signing, but then he saw handwritten words in a flowing script with drawings on well worn pages. Sam was reading someone's journal and Dean knew exactly who had written it.

"Sammy?"

"Dean?" Sam asked as he looked up. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, you weren't home to make lunch and Buster wouldn't share his boob juice."

"I'm sorry. I stopped in for a glass of wine and kind of stuck around."

"How was the signing?"

"Long. My hand still hurts."

"What do you have there?"

"Abel's journal. Norris called, he was renting a room at that motel downtown. I found it hidden under the mattress."

"Anything good?"

"No." Sam smiled. "I was hoping for some evil plan or some confession that he was hurting people, but…there's nothing bad in it. I wanted him to be bad, Dean."

"Would have made things easier, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Is there anything else in there?"

"You could say that."

Sam flipped a few pages back and then slowly turned the book to face Dean. Abel's handwriting was impossibly small and Dean was going to need more than a quick glance to read it, but the writing wasn't what Sam found so interesting. In the middle of the page was a very detailed pencil drawing that even Mikey would have been impressed with. Dean had no idea what he was actually looking at but it was very well done. It appeared, at first glance, to be a rock or a boulder with the base of something protruding out of it. The top of the object was perfectly smooth and the part that was lodged in the rock look like it was tapering down, sort of like a broken off icicle.

The rock itself had been carved with a flat smooth base that had symbols inscribed all around it. Abel hadn't drawn everything but he had made some markings that Dean was sure he had seen somewhere else. He couldn't quite put his finger on where he had seen them and he sure as hell couldn't read them, but he knew they were important since Abel had traced over them several times to make them bolder. Including a translation would have been nice, but apparently he hadn't thought of that.

"What are the symbols?"

"Enochian."

"Ah, angel ebonics, right?"

"Right." Sam nodded. "It says "The God Who…" and the rest is cut off."

"You can read that?"

"Apparently. Abel was looking for it. He refers to it as a misericorde."

"It's a dagger?" Dean asked. "Where's the handle?"

"I'm guessing someone unsuccessfully tried to get it out of the stone."

Dean could practically see the gears grinding in Sam's head. He was waiting for Dean to ask more questions so they could talk about it until time stopped or the dagger was found and put to use, whatever that might have been. Dean did have questions, he was beyond intrigued, but most of all he was concerned for Sam who wasn't shitfaced drunk but had been drinking in the middle of the day when he had other things to do, like taking care of a sick husband and getting ready for the auction. Dean wasn't going to bring those things up and he also wasn't going to give Sam a reason to become more obsessed with Abel.

"That's interesting." Dean said as he closed the journal. "Did you eat anything?"

"They're making me a cheeseburger."

"So, we can have a nice lunch out?"

"That'd be nice." Sam smiled. "Who's watching the chipmunk?"

"He's with dad."

"And how's your tummy?"

"Much better."

"Good."

Sam was still staring at the journal so Dean made a point of taking it off the table and putting it on one of the empty chairs. That made Sam a little more focused, but he was still staring at Dean like they were having a very awkward first date. The silence went on for so long and got so strained that Dean actually decided he was going to bring up the weather when Sam reached across the table and gently took his hand. His hand was pretty damn cold, but Dean rubbed it some and he warmed right up.

"We should do this once a week." Sam said. "On Wednesday when all the kids are busy. We just need to get someone to watch Buster."

"I think that's a fantastic idea."

"I was thinking I could start seeing a doctor on Friday since Buster's the only one home during the day."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. I know Carol knows a few people down here. I don't want to drive to the city once a week."

"That sounds great, Sammy."

"Maybe someone who deals with couples too."

"Couples of what?"

"Us." Sam said. "We could go together."

Dean wasn't going to pretend like therapy wouldn't have done him a world a good. In fact, given his upbringing, he probably should have been seeing a shrink at least three times a week. Sam also, obviously, needed and wanted help. He was probably better adjusted than Dean, but he had a harder time dealing with things. Therapy was a fantastic idea for the both of them, but Dean saw absolutely no reason why they'd have to go as a couple, because as a couple they kicked ass, took names, and popped out beautiful, talented, and intelligent children. Sex was amazing, communication was great, and money was never going to be an issue, so Dean wasn’t really sure what him and Sam were supposed to talk about in a joint session.

"Because I farted that one time?"

"What?"

"I farted." Dean said. "It wasn't a real fart, it was just a buildup of air."

"What are you talking about?"

"You were topping and dicking me hard and…"

"No, what does that have to do with anything?"

"I farted because you were in and out so much and…"

"Dean, for the love of God, stop talking!"

Dean was so upset over one little poot ending his marriage that he hadn't even noticed the very embarrassed looking waiter standing within earshot with two delicious looking plates of food. The only person more embarrassed was Sam who had turned bright red and was conveniently doing something on his phone when the waiter set his burger down. Dean could have been mortified, but the waiter was obviously gay and he looked like he took a lot of dick over the years so he was no doubt well acquainted with tooting at inopportune times.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Mr. Winchester. Can we get you anything else?"

"Beano." Sam chuckled under his breath. "Or a spare cork."

"Hey! What are you doing with your phone!"

"Texting Jared."

"About what!"

"Something completely unrelated."

"Sammy!"

Dean reached across the table and snatched Sam's phone which made him burst into a fit of giggles. He sounded exactly like Milo and he was laughing so hard that a few tears started to roll down his cheeks. Dean was still a little embarrassed about bringing up the fart, but Sam was laughing and that was a very welcomed change. To keep him laughing Dean was even willing to tell the story about the time he had a boner, tripped on the rug, and worried he broke his dick, which led to a trip to Bruce's office.

"We're perfect." Dean said. "Why would you think we need counseling?"

"Because I want to stay that way."

"What do you mean?"

"I want us to always be perfect. Jared and Jensen see a doctor, so do Bruce and Anthony."

"Well, Jensen and Jared go because Jared is basically a six year old with a nine inch dick and Bruce wanted to go because Anthony is too busy being famous to raise their son."

"And we're going to go because…something awful happened, and…Dean, I'm not sure I can deal with it on my own. You are and always will be the perfect husband and father, but I might need more than that."

"I can do that, Sammy."

"Thank you."

"Anytime."

Dean reached across the table and gave Sam's hand one last squeeze before he cut into his perfectly cooked steak. Sam smiled back and then picked up his rather large and delicious looking hamburger. For the rest of the meal they didn't talk about Abel or Gabe, they didn't talk about drinking in the middle of the day or popping pills, they just talked and it was really nice. In an hour or so they'd both have to go home, return to their normal lives and get ready for the auction, but until that happened Dean was perfectly content to have a nice meal out with Sam, who was going to get whatever help he needed.

Last year Mary and Milo had stayed confined to their stroller during the auction. They weren't walking or talking yet and they were perfectly content to watch and occasionally be lovingly adored. That was the same gig Buster currently had, but he wasn't interested in watching at all. He had his dinner straight from the source and had soon after settled down for a long Halloween nap. Since it was his first big outing into the world a lot of people were stopping by to see him and give their compliments on such a handsome baby, but he was completely out of it.

The rest of the kids were having a great time. Mary was dressed as a princess and said "thank you" every time someone placed a piece of candy in her bucket. Milo, who was a fireman, didn't bother with niceties or putting candy in his bucket. He accepted each piece and then ran back to the table to give it to Sam for safekeeping and inspection. Sam had a nice little stockpile and he was sure Milo wouldn't miss the chocolate bar he had eaten. Ollie was dressed as a pig as an homage to Oinkers, the twins were appropriately enough dressed up as 1930 style gangsters and Mikey finally got his wish of being a vampire. Dean was leading them all around the hall dressed up as a lion, which was particularly fitting since Sam was dressed like he was going on a safari complete with shorts, ugly boots, and a ridiculous hat. Sam thought that maybe for the first year ever the costume could escape the regular rotation of his closet, but then Dean had been growling at him pretty often so it seemed like a game of "Naughty Lion" was in their future.

The only child unaccounted for was Michael, who liked his costume to remain secret up until Halloween night. Part of that was wanting it to be a surprise, but the real reason he did it was because most of his costumes tended towards the scandalous side and Dean would have forbid him from leaving the house. Sam was really expecting something totally scandalous that would win Michael first prize at the Halloween party he always went to at the gay club after the auction, but he was pleasantly surprised and confused.

When Michael and Alex arrived together they weren't really in any kind of traditional costume. They were both wearing jeans while Michael had on a plaid western shirt and a hoodie since it was a little cold out. Alex had on a plain black t-shirt under a button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. It wasn't how they normally dressed so it was obvious they were in costume, but Sam couldn't figure out who they were or why they both looked positively giddy.

"Hey, poppa!"

"Hey." Sam smiled. "The kids were worried you weren't going to make it."

"And miss free candy?" Michael asked. "Never."

"I like your slutty safari costume, Sam."

"I'm just a regular safari guy."

"No, you're wearing regular safari clothes. If you put a gorilla mask on a slut she's a slutty gorilla."

"Whatever. What the hell are you supposed to be anyway?"

"Ain't it obvious!" Michael said before looking over at Alex. "Oh, shoot, not again…"

"Baby, no, don't, I….Owwww!"

Alex wailed like an injured stray when Michael grabbed him by his ears and pulled forward as hard as he could. When Alex's ears didn't stay in place Michael tugged harder causing another howl. Sam still wasn't sure what the hell was going on until Alex fought back and started a slapping fight. He was barely smacking, but Michael was slapping back hard and even got Alex across the cheek once. He got angry after that, complete with a red face and what appeared to be a full blown tantrum. Alex was pouting and stomping his feet on the ground when a lion walked up next to him and Sam finally got it.

"Oooh." Sam whispered. "I get it."

"Get what?" Dean asked. "You two are dressed as random homosexuals? That's not very festive."

"Dad!"

"Excuse me. Random queers."

"I'm dressed as Clark!"

"And I'm James." Alex said. "James from the book, not pioneer James."

"You're dressed as me?" Dean asked. "I don't buy it. I have a normal sized asshole."

"Hey!"

"Tell him, Sammy."

"It's true." Sam said. "It's normal. It's very pink."

"Aw." Michael smiled. "That's sweet."

"What's with the homage?" Dean asked. "It's not very creative."

"It's even less creative when you find out that he's dressed as Sam and I'm dressed as you."

"We don't dress like that anymore." Sam laughed. "We haven't for a while."

"We're vintage." Michael smiled. "I saw some pictures grandpa had of you two dressed exactly like this when Mikey was a baby."

"Ah." Dean nodded. "The good old days."

"So we thought it was particularly fitting since this time next year we'll have our own baby."

"A ginger if we're lucky."

"Right. A ginger pumpkin baby." Michael said. "If we're lucky."

"Wha…" Dean said before shaking his head. "Did…did you hear something?"

"Hard of hearing already?" Michael asked. "Grandpa?"

Poor Dean actually looked around for John before he realized he was the grandpa Michael was referring to. Sam was up out of his seat in a second to throw his arms around Michael while Alex tried to elicit some kind of reaction out of Dean. When Sam looked over Dean was just kind of staring blankly and nervously twisting the tail of his costume between his hand. Sam expected him to be shocked, but he thought there might be more considering Dean had been waiting to be a grandpa since ten minutes after meeting Mikey for the first time.

"Casey told us yesterday and she went to Dr. Baxter today. Dad?"

"Huh?"

"Did you hear me?"

"I'm…" Dean said slowly. "A…peepaw."

"To a couple of cells at the moment." Alex laughed. "But technically."

"Pee…Paw…"

"Dean?"

"Peepaw!"

"Shh!" Sam whispered. "Jesus, the whole…"

"I'm a peepaw!"

"Dad!" Michael said as he clamped his hand over Dean's mouth. "Not everyone needs to know."

Dean yelled so loud through Michael's hand that everyone in the surrounding states knew something was going on. Even Buster woke up and spent exactly fifteen seconds accessing the situation. He glanced at Sam first to make sure all was right with the world, then he looked over at Dean and sort of scowled some for the disturbance. Before he went right back to sleep he sighed rather wistfully and resigned to be the best uncle he could be, just as long as no one disturbed him again, which Sam was willing to help with since he rolled the stroller a little further away from Dean who was flailing.

"A baby!" Dean grinned. "It's been…weeks since we had one! We're due! We need to go tell the kids! Aunt Mary! Uncle Evan!"

"No, no." Alex said quickly. "We're just going to tell John, Carol, and Jason."

"But the kids will be so excited. Mikey's been going on and on about being an uncle since he has forty-six of them."

"Dad, we really want to wait." Michael whispered. "We want to wait a while."

"Why?"

"Dean." Sam said as he took his hand. "They just want to wait. I'm so happy for you both, we can't wait until…"

"Why would you want to wait?"

"Dean…"

"Sammy, I just want to know." Dean shrugged. "Why wait?"

"Dad…"

Sam knew exactly why they wanted to wait, Buster had probably even caught on and he was sound asleep. Dean knew why too, but he wanted Alex and Michael to say it and they were smart enough to keep quiet. Dean waited what felt like an eternity before he made up an excuse about checking on the kids and scampered off. Sam was right behind him after he put Michael in charge of Buster. Alex looked like he was going to follow as well, but instead he stayed behind and bit at his bottom lip.

Dean made a quick exit out of one of the side doors and Sam slipped out right behind him. The day of rain had brought with it a rather impressive cold front. As soon as Sam stepped outside the cold wind hit his legs and made him shiver, but he still pressed onwards towards Dean who was probably very warm in his big lion costume. He was holding on to the tail again and obviously glaring at a few lingering smokers since they put out their cigarettes and cleared out.

"It got so cold so fast."

"Yeah, it did." Sam said. "I'm looking forward to Winter."

"Me too."

"What's on your mind?"

"They don't want to tell everybody in case something happens."

"That's usually why. I think it's a smart thing to do."

"It's like expecting something to go wrong."

"Do you wish they hadn't told us?"

"No." Dean said as he turned around. "Of course I wanted them to tell us."

"But if something did happen you'd be a lot more upset than the kids."

"Yeah."

"Dean, I think not telling the kids is smart because they're too young to understand that babies…sometimes they go away."

"I know that."

"Then what's going on?"

"It just made me think about Buster and I'm already worried about you…I was so excited for like two minutes and now this dread is smothering me again."

"You know this is something we could talk about with a therapist."

Dean snorted a little before grinning and then actually laughing. When he dropped his tail he opened his arms and Sam practically fell right into them. Dean was always going to worry when it came to his family whether they were as old as James or just a collection of cells rapidly multiplying, and sadly he was probably going to let that get in the way of his joy. That was the kind of guy he was and Sam didn't want him any other way. He did want things to be easier for him though and with a professional they could both work through a lot of issues. Sam certainly needed the help and he was really sort of excited about Dean maybe accepting a little help as well.

"I'll be a grandpa at thirty-five." Dean whispered. "You'll be thirty-one."

"Want me to bust out your teeth so you'll feel like more of a hillbilly?"

"Don't say that word. It's derogatory now that we have a hillbilly grandbaby on the way. It's exciting, isn't it?"

"Very." Sam smiled. "And not just because Michael and Alex are having a baby."

"Why else?" Dean asked as he backed away. "Because you still have the lion tamer costume from Mikey's circus party?"

"That…and you can finally tell dad to suck it next time he won't shut the hell up about being the world's greatest grandpa."

"Oooh!" Dean yelled as he hit Sam in the chest. "You're right! I want to be there when Alex and Michael tell him! Come on!"

"You go ahead." Sam said as he nodded towards the parking lot. "I see a little lost ginger coming this way."

"What the hell is he wearing?"

"I have no idea."

Dean kissed Sam on the cheek and then rushed back inside just when Jason came into the light. Sam knew it was him from a distance but he couldn't tell what kind of costume he had on until he got closer. Normally Jason was completely at home in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, but on Halloween he had dressed the outfit up considerably with a very nice fitted pair of dark denim jeans, a tailored shirt, and a fantastically snug vest that Sam wanted in his size. On his feet were a pair of very expensive shoes and his old twenty dollar watch had been replaced with a shiny platinum one that Alex had bought Michael as an apology after they got in a fight about where to order dinner from.

"Well, Mr. Higgins." Sam said as he shook his head. "You're just full of surprises."

"How do I look?"

"Kind of…really…hot."

"Are you blushing?"

"No!" Sam scoffed. "Come on."

"Why are you unbuttoning your shirt?"

"No reason." Sam said as he fiddled with the buttons. "Uh…"

"I'm dressed as Michael!"

"Yes, you are, and you're just the person I was looking for."

"Why?"

"Because now I'm completely convinced that I need therapy."

Jason looked a little confused and as always when he was confused he just smiled and let the pearly whites do all the talking for him, which made Sam melt just a little bit. Jason looked a lot like Michael, but he was older and he was much less polished. Michael was gorgeous, obviously, but he was magazine attractive which took quite a bit of work on his behalf. Jason had obvious showered and threw on the clothes before walking out the door. That kind of handsome really did it for Sam because there was someone else in his life that could do the exact same thing and be devastatingly gorgeous.

"Where's your baby mamma?"

"She said she doesn't much like Halloween." Jason whispered. "She decided to go to a party with her church group. They do like a harvest party."

"You didn't want to go to that?"

"Mrs. Carol said I could have a job handing out the candy to the kids or helping with the refreshments."

"And maybe stockpile some candy for yourself?"

"Maybe a little."

"I'm sure they'll appreciate the help. Let's go find her and…"

"Mr. Sam…"

"Yeah?"

"I haven't really had a chance to talk to you since…well, since your brother passed on. I'm so sorry."

"Thank you, Jason. Come on, let's…"

"Not yet."

Sam was trying to get back inside where it was warm, but Jason seemed hesitant. Sam really didn't want to talk about Abel, but when Jason began to back away from the door and further away from the noise of the party he followed. The hall where the auction was held every year had a sort of wrap around balcony and porch for people to mingle outside or smoke and everything around it was lushly landscaped. Jason kept on walking until he was backed into a corner and completely hidden from view by a large tree. Sam really felt odd about the way he was acting, but he still followed and then waited to see what was going on.

"See." Jason said as he reached in his pocket. "This is the kind of tree I like. I want some like this when we find a house."

"A pine tree?"

"Yeah, one with lots of pinecones. Ya'll ever make them pinecone turkeys?"

Sam was completely confused because he had never heard Jason talk about any kind of trees he wanted and the Halloween auction, in a secluded corner, didn't seem like the best place to do it. Things just got more bizarre when he went into detail about constructing pinecone turkeys and flipped the cap off the marker he had withdrawn from his pocket. Sam played along and suggest added glitter to the turkeys while Jason drew on the side of the building. It was a circle at first, then he began to add in symbols and lines, which made a knot form in Sam's stomach. Jason had apparently picked up a thing or two from his time as a vessel and he was making sure he really got to talk to Sam in private. All he needed was a little blood, which Sam willingly supplied when Jason hesitated cutting his own hand.

"What the hell?" Sam asked once he had smeared his hand against the wall. "What is this?"

"Sort of like a bubble." Jason said as he held up his hand. "I remember it from when I was gone with Jeremy. No one can hear us."

"Are we hiding from Cas?"

"From everyone."

"Why?"

"When we were gone." Jason whispered. "We were in a cold place, I don't know where. There was a bad man, a really bad man. He was strong, even stronger than Jeremy, almost as strong as I was."

"What do you mean a bad man?"

"He did things…He did things with his babies. He used them for magic."

"What kind of things?"

"Their blood." Jason said as he looked at Sam's hand. "He was old, but he had babies and used their blood for magic. He could do all sort of stuff and he was really bad."

"Okay." Sam nodded. "What happened?"

"We killed him. I remember it like I was the one doing it. We killed him like…he died like Michael said your brother did. It burnt him up bad, tore him up."

"That's what happened to Abel."

"But the man we killed…He wasn't gone."

"Wha…what?"

"I asked if you were going to bring Abel back and Michael said you couldn't and Gabe couldn't because there was nothing left."

"That's what Gabe told me."

"He lied, Mr. Sam." Jason whispered. "The man we killed while I was gone, God told Jeremy he had to pay for what he did. He sent him away."

"What are you telling me, Jason?"

"That Abel is in a bad place. A real bad place, a place much worse than hell, a place worse than anything."

Sam looked down at the cut in his hand and he realized that a couple of days ago it would have already healed completely. That same hand then went to his neck where the drop of Gabe's blood was hanging. The idea of Gabe lying to him about bringing Abel back was more than Sam could stomach. It made him feel like the whole world was crashing down around him and there was nothing he could do to stop it. The only thing that made any kind of sense to Sam was that the very bad place, the place worse than hell, was something Gabe didn't know about. There was a chance, a good chance it seemed that only Jason knew about it, Jason and of course Jeremy.

"Gabe wouldn't lie to me."

"You think he doesn't know?"

"I think God probably knew who Gabe was loyal to." Sam said. "Does Jeremy remember this?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"How do you know?"

"Well…" Jason said before he shook his head. "He told me to never tell you."

"Then why are you telling me now?"

"Because if anything ever happen to Michael I would move heaven and Earth to get him back."

"You." Sam smiled. "Are going to make a fantastic father."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet." Sam said quietly. "All I know is that I actually can move heaven and Earth if I want to."

"What about Jeremy?"

"Jeremy…" Sam said before he sighed. "He's got some explaining to do."

Jason looked nervous, but then he always looked a little nervous. For a job well done Sam patted him on his back and then escorted him into the party. Michael had a field day laughing at the costume and Dean agreed that Jason was looking particularly delicious. The kids were having a great time, John was already in great-grandpa heaven, and Alex was looking particularly proud of himself.

Sam watched all of them from his private table with Buster and finally his eyes fell on Jeremy who was laughing and grinning while Aaron tried unsuccessfully to bob for apples to win a teddy bear for Mary. When their eyes met Sam smiled and Jeremy smiled back before giving a little friendly wave. That was a gesture Sam didn't return because he was too busy stroking the drop of Gabe's blood around his neck and plotting his next bold move.