Comments | bit_impossible: θ 33

bit_impossible

θ 33

May 09, 2009 09:55

[curfew's just ending and where is he? in his suite like an obedient passenger, except he's not chomping on his bit to leave as usual, no, not today. when the sphere turns on, he's standing in the bathroom, the door closed, and wearing only just a pair of pyjama bottoms as he hangs his head over the sink. his face remains hidden from view as ( Read more... )

with: aerith gainsborough [au], with: the tardis [au], *verse: crucible_rpg, crucible: *plot break, with: ishida ametatsu [au], crucible: *cycle 3, with: oliver day [ou]

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hisoldgirl May 9 2009, 23:09:01 UTC

[may or may not be quietly watching him from the other room, alternately worried and upset over his display]

bit_impossible May 10 2009, 02:17:28 UTC

[finally leaves the bathroom, towel slung around his shoulders. the moment he sees her face, he puts on a slight smile.] Sorry I took so long in there.

hisoldgirl May 10 2009, 02:20:28 UTC

[that smile means very little to her] Are you still unwell? You look unhealthy.

bit_impossible May 10 2009, 02:54:52 UTC

[sits down next to her] Really, I'm fine. I've just been...tired lately.

hisoldgirl May 10 2009, 03:45:56 UTC

[frowns] Tiredness is uncommon for you. Why are you fatigued?

bit_impossible May 10 2009, 04:32:29 UTC

Working a little too hard lately, I think.

hisoldgirl May 10 2009, 04:34:28 UTC

[takes his face in her hands, studying his eyes] Why do you attempt lying to me?

bit_impossible May 10 2009, 04:47:20 UTC

[his shoulders sag; he didn't think he could keep that up for long.] Because I don't want you to worry.

hisoldgirl May 10 2009, 04:50:25 UTC

Lying will not cause my worry to cease. [tilts her head] What happened?

bit_impossible May 10 2009, 05:10:57 UTC

[knows that. one would think he's learned his lesson by now.] I tried to find a way to cure you of your nightmares.

hisoldgirl May 10 2009, 05:13:16 UTC

I told you it was not needed. [rubs his jaw with her thumb, concerned] I did not want for that. Now you have harmed yourself. [is really concerned] What did you try to do? You did not look at that window, did you? Even after I said not to?

bit_impossible May 10 2009, 05:59:13 UTC

[he considers looking away, but what good would that do now? and he just knows she'll be so angry at him...] ...I'm sorry. It was the only way I could think of! I figured if I could get to the source of the problem, I'd be able to stop the nightmares. Nothing else I tried was working. I figured if I looked at the anomaly briefly I'd be fine.

But I...I saw her! [his hand clings to her] I saw Susan, or at least I think I did. Even with my glasses on, I couldn't quite make her out, but I'm certain it was her. She was playing up in those silver-leafed trees back home, climbing higher and higher... Lord, she was so brave and strong, even back then.

hisoldgirl May 10 2009, 15:12:02 UTC

That is not what I wanted. I told you I did not want you to suffer this. [looks torn between anger and sorrow, though eventually she goes with the anger] You never listen to me. No matter how it frightens me, no matter how I balk or shy away, you always press forward. How many times have you forced me to land when I would rather not? How many times have you led me to our destruction? And again, now, when I have told you not to look, not to do this one thing, you do not heed me. You do not heed me and now I cannot protect you!

[shrugs away from his grip] You think I did not see such things? You do not think I saw you, in all your former forms -- you think I did not see Theta and Koschei, playing about me as children? All those companions whom I love? Susan, Adric, Nyssa, Evelyn, Ace, Hex... I am certain I saw her, as well, out among the stars. And now I see them burn. I think it is them I watch being consumed when I close my eyes. Suns eating each other, fire flaring across the cosmos, and I believe it is those I love who I see ( ... )

bit_impossible May 10 2009, 22:22:04 UTC

[persists, he's not going to let go of her, especially not after he hears about the substance of her nightmares.] I did it because I had to. How else was I supposed to understand?! I do the things I do because I have no other choice. If I don't find out what's wrong in any given situation, who will? Hmm?! No one, that's who! It's only you and me in the end, and I put you through the things I do because I know you're strong enough to handle it. If I can't rely on you, who can I then?

And if you think for one second that I'm going to allow you to suffer this alone, well old girl...you're very, very wrong!

hisoldgirl May 10 2009, 23:14:07 UTC

[glaaaaaaaaare and squirm and she might be trying to scoot away because she is angry that he didn't listen and that he's hurt and it's all her fault for telling him where it was to begin with] You did not have to. I could have handled it alone. I could have discovered what happened, what caused them. I am capable of that much. Just as you are capable of letting well enough alone. You need not be everyone's saviour, Doctor. You cannot save them all.

If you truly rely on me because you believe me capable, why then would you not let me do this alone? I have suffered without you, for you, before. I could have done this. You should not be troubled.

bit_impossible May 11 2009, 05:34:55 UTC

[he would've found out where it was anyway but he's going to keep on pursuing her anyway because damnit he hates seeing her upset like this.]

But I have to try! I couldn't leave things alone even if my own life depended on it. I've let far too many people down and even more have been hurt or killed because I couldn't act quick enough. I can't...I'm not...

And...[softly] I couldn't bear to see you suffer like this any longer.

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