rain like i may have never seen
i feel like this coldplay song that was at the end of the last episode of the oc could make ANYONE contemplative...
...this year has maybe been the strangest one of my life. the past 3 have been strange in general but this one has been especially strange. i feel like i've grown up more and more each day since we moved here. but this year i don't think i've ever worked as hard, been as happy, been as sad, been as stressed, been as upset, been as tired, been as easily annoyed, been as depressed, or any extreme emotion ever in my life. I got better grades and did more work than i ever have. i got more in shape than i ever have been. i actually didn't eat the most i ever had, because that was last sum sum. since last summer was the most amazing summer of my life, maybe that's why the weirdest year of my life had to follow it. i feel iike i got closer than my friends than i ever was and i feel like i had some of the most fun. but i didn't ever do anything EXCEPTIONALLY memorable. lake tahoe was probably the most memorable thing. most of the memorable things were just smaller things added up. and its funny how i didn't really make many new friends (i think like 3 new friends) but i just got closer with the ones i had. i feel like this year was so dramatic though. and sometimes i wonder if it actually was dramatic or if i make things more dramatic than it really was. i know i make things more dramatic but especially this year. i don't think i've ever cried as much in my life since i was a baby or since we moved. things just got so weird this year. and i've never gotten so angry at so many people in my life. i feel like stress just built up every single day of this year and lack of sleep and all my allergic reactions and just exploded. but i think i realized alot of things about people that i never realized before. normally i notice things but don't let them annoy me so i don't really ever think about them. but i think in the past month anything anyone has done that is slighty annoying has made me mad. it has been quite upsetting and i know i just need to leave and calm down and read really long 600 page books and write 3 page journals on them so i can come back and be normal again and have a good sum sum. i just get so scared at the end of every year for the next one and how fast life is going. that in 2 years i will be graduating and getting ready for college and that in a year i will have a decision on a college and that in 3 years i will be finishing my first year of college. and i don't even have my PERMIT. how can i think about college and not be able to drive a car legally with my parent/guardian in the car?? i might get upset about school all the time and want to leave...but i really don't ever want to have to leave...
...that didn't make any sense. but i'm glad if you actually read it.
ALGEBRA TOMORROW. so i can raise my semester grade of an 89.23. yes that's right...point-2-3. and an ortho appt so MAYBE just MAYBE they'll put a spring on my teeth that doesn't break and my dad won't have to cut it out with wireclippers and risk cutting off half my face. and then graduation!! which will be quite tragic and sad but good at the same time. and saturday is MIMI'S INSANE SICK NASTY TOTALLY AWESOME COOL HELLA WHOA WHOA RANDOM BIRTHDAY PARTY AT GOLDEN CORRAL! SO JUST COME IF YOU READ THIS!
i WILL update before canada. and after my last exam.
love,
Laura
...this year has maybe been the strangest one of my life. the past 3 have been strange in general but this one has been especially strange. i feel like i've grown up more and more each day since we moved here. but this year i don't think i've ever worked as hard, been as happy, been as sad, been as stressed, been as upset, been as tired, been as easily annoyed, been as depressed, or any extreme emotion ever in my life. I got better grades and did more work than i ever have. i got more in shape than i ever have been. i actually didn't eat the most i ever had, because that was last sum sum. since last summer was the most amazing summer of my life, maybe that's why the weirdest year of my life had to follow it. i feel iike i got closer than my friends than i ever was and i feel like i had some of the most fun. but i didn't ever do anything EXCEPTIONALLY memorable. lake tahoe was probably the most memorable thing. most of the memorable things were just smaller things added up. and its funny how i didn't really make many new friends (i think like 3 new friends) but i just got closer with the ones i had. i feel like this year was so dramatic though. and sometimes i wonder if it actually was dramatic or if i make things more dramatic than it really was. i know i make things more dramatic but especially this year. i don't think i've ever cried as much in my life since i was a baby or since we moved. things just got so weird this year. and i've never gotten so angry at so many people in my life. i feel like stress just built up every single day of this year and lack of sleep and all my allergic reactions and just exploded. but i think i realized alot of things about people that i never realized before. normally i notice things but don't let them annoy me so i don't really ever think about them. but i think in the past month anything anyone has done that is slighty annoying has made me mad. it has been quite upsetting and i know i just need to leave and calm down and read really long 600 page books and write 3 page journals on them so i can come back and be normal again and have a good sum sum. i just get so scared at the end of every year for the next one and how fast life is going. that in 2 years i will be graduating and getting ready for college and that in a year i will have a decision on a college and that in 3 years i will be finishing my first year of college. and i don't even have my PERMIT. how can i think about college and not be able to drive a car legally with my parent/guardian in the car?? i might get upset about school all the time and want to leave...but i really don't ever want to have to leave...
...that didn't make any sense. but i'm glad if you actually read it.
ALGEBRA TOMORROW. so i can raise my semester grade of an 89.23. yes that's right...point-2-3. and an ortho appt so MAYBE just MAYBE they'll put a spring on my teeth that doesn't break and my dad won't have to cut it out with wireclippers and risk cutting off half my face. and then graduation!! which will be quite tragic and sad but good at the same time. and saturday is MIMI'S INSANE SICK NASTY TOTALLY AWESOME COOL HELLA WHOA WHOA RANDOM BIRTHDAY PARTY AT GOLDEN CORRAL! SO JUST COME IF YOU READ THIS!
i WILL update before canada. and after my last exam.
love,
Laura