Thoughts
Funny how life goes. Don't feel a bit bad. Just different maybe. It will all come that I know. I'm ok in the assurance of that. :)Many things are coming. Only thing is on a few well its like there missing or something.
I wonder if my life is supposed to be this way though? The great majority of parts are coming the others are well
unassured (minor assurance atleast is a nice thing :P). Seriously though I cannot have all the answers I know that.
Have even though persons could disagree with I know that.
Still it sometimes chaffs alittle. I know its not supposed to be easy. Except some parts are easier for me to deal with than others. Its not unknowns themselves. Its the unknowns without even a clue or any kind of glimmer that get me I guess. I mean its ok to not know alright I found that out.
Things is complete dark. I mean utter complete dark is what I feel on a few things.
Its ok to find yourself somewhere ya don't know, the scenery different, so on and so on. However, when there is not even the slightest of sense atleast true sense to have. It can begin to drive you insane. Its like sensory deprevation. They used to test people (volunteers) and these people would float in a tank of water with absolutely no sound no light no input.....essentially sensory deprevation.
In those tests people lost track of time. All sorts of things. Also they began to discover the threshold of a persons tolerance. They found the edge of induced insanity. (its a long story)
Anyway to some part it feels like deprevation. No I'm not getting down...ok.
Hell I'm not quit sure how to put it in words. It doesn't hurt persay not really. But the unstableness it can cause...cheez. And I let it happen sometimes. More or less it comes now rarely but right outta left field and hits hard and I let it sometimes. Almost like being caught off gaurd. Things have been good real good lately. I have to admit the formentioned though. Its just hard to describe. I'm not fucked up. I know that. I know myself well enough.
Just its so hard. Its like a part of me is reaching out a hand in the utter dark trying to find the guide to take care of these few last things and no one is taking the hand. No I am not alone and gonna cut my throat. Thats not what I'm saying.
I'll leave this for later.
I wonder if my life is supposed to be this way though? The great majority of parts are coming the others are well
unassured (minor assurance atleast is a nice thing :P). Seriously though I cannot have all the answers I know that.
Have even though persons could disagree with I know that.
Still it sometimes chaffs alittle. I know its not supposed to be easy. Except some parts are easier for me to deal with than others. Its not unknowns themselves. Its the unknowns without even a clue or any kind of glimmer that get me I guess. I mean its ok to not know alright I found that out.
Things is complete dark. I mean utter complete dark is what I feel on a few things.
Its ok to find yourself somewhere ya don't know, the scenery different, so on and so on. However, when there is not even the slightest of sense atleast true sense to have. It can begin to drive you insane. Its like sensory deprevation. They used to test people (volunteers) and these people would float in a tank of water with absolutely no sound no light no input.....essentially sensory deprevation.
In those tests people lost track of time. All sorts of things. Also they began to discover the threshold of a persons tolerance. They found the edge of induced insanity. (its a long story)
Anyway to some part it feels like deprevation. No I'm not getting down...ok.
Hell I'm not quit sure how to put it in words. It doesn't hurt persay not really. But the unstableness it can cause...cheez. And I let it happen sometimes. More or less it comes now rarely but right outta left field and hits hard and I let it sometimes. Almost like being caught off gaurd. Things have been good real good lately. I have to admit the formentioned though. Its just hard to describe. I'm not fucked up. I know that. I know myself well enough.
Just its so hard. Its like a part of me is reaching out a hand in the utter dark trying to find the guide to take care of these few last things and no one is taking the hand. No I am not alone and gonna cut my throat. Thats not what I'm saying.
I'll leave this for later.