"the power to be vulnerable"
another pre-digested article
"We humans are so wired that the slightest perception of danger leads to feelings of vulnerability, setting into motion the impulse to flee, freeze or dissociate. And that sudden flash of trepidation can be prompted by anything that threatens our sense of control.
It could, for instance, relate to sharing ourselves personally in a way that exposes us to the other's indifference, disapproval, or anger. When we confide our thoughts and feelings in another, we may also fear that our sharing won't be reciprocated. Or that it could be used against us. Or that it won't be empathized with, or validated. And our deepest sense of vulnerability arises when we find ourselves in situations that tap into primal fears of abandonment. Or evoke its opposite, engulfment--where our personal boundaries feel so threatened that we fear losing our very self...
By allowing ourselves to give vent to highly charged emotions, we're conveying that we regard such emotions as legitimate and reasonable to express, even though we recognize that others might feel obliged to inhibit such expression. Our self-control here derives not from suppressing ourselves but having the confidence and self-assurance to divulge what we so keenly feel. Simply put, to avoid communicating these sorrowful emotions (or otherwise dissociate from them) would be to lack the courage of our emotional convictions. In this case we'd simply be capitulating to old "survival programs"--programs that compelled us as children to minimize or deny the expression of our most vulnerable feelings for fear of parental criticism...
As a caveat, it's important to keep in mind that depending on others to soothe us can actually increase feelings of vulnerability...
[...] we can talk ourselves into a calmer state by remembering that we've survived situations like this before--that finally it's not such a big deal. Being kind, gentle and understanding with ourselves, we can supply the support and reassurance needed to restore our emotional balance. We can review what left us agitated and try to appreciate it (and ourselves) with more detachment, even humor--a humor that can enable us to grasp the whole situation more realistically and move from a narrowly egocentric to a more philosophical perspective.
Ultimately, if feeling vulnerable is about feeling threatened, rejected, powerless, out of control, or unloved, we can learn how to confront these distressing experiences more comfortably. By coming to deeply believe in ourselves (warts and all), we no longer need to depend on anyone else to make us feel okay. Unconditionally self-accepting, we can validate our behaviors and soothe our feelings all by ourselves.
Perhaps more than anything else, this is what becoming a fully functioning adult is all about. Unquestionably, it's the essence of true personal power."