Comments | bishop610: My favorite critique ever:

bishop610

My favorite critique ever:

Jan 23, 2006 04:33

A girl whose name I'm not going to give out sent me this e-mail a few weeks ago. I loved it, and feel it's time to share it with the world. For all of you that have been trying to take me off of my pedestal for the last five years, here's how it's done ( Read more... )

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Oh, are we playing insult Brian? I'm game! anonymous January 23 2006, 11:10:14 UTC

Let's see, first of all has anyone noticed that the perfect teeth that he's always bragging about are starting to turn yellow and rot right out of his head? But hey Bri, you wanted gray hair and the old man look so I guess your wish is going to come true.

I also think that it's especially noble that Brian is always heroically saying that he's going to save people who are in trouble, but time and time again I've watched him not follow through because helping the other person doesn't really benefit him.

And I'm sure that he deserves a pat on the back for being one of those guys that has to act like a dick to impress his friends. "Hey sweetheart, why don't you clean my room for me when you're done studying" ...umm fuck you! It would take an entire football team and a crane to clean that slob's room.

I think I'll conclude by impressing upon you the pathetic manner in which Brian has been getting girls these days. He likes them best when they're drunk and acting stupid because then their defenses are down. If he's truly the puppet master, then I find it remarkable that he requires the aid of alcohol to get laid. A girl would have to be not all with it to want to fuck you, huh Brian?

Re: Oh, are we playing insult Brian? I'm game! bishop610 January 23 2006, 16:47:59 UTC

Ha. I love you Joanna. For real though, next time you come down, you're cleaning my room.
:)
-Brian

Re: Oh, are we playing insult Brian? I'm game! irregularme January 23 2006, 17:12:10 UTC

if cleaning your room is a metaphor for lying lazily in the midst of the rubble that is your room, and wondering if I'm going to be attacked by the maggots that your sister assured me used to inhabit your room, then yes cleaning your room is exactly what I'll be doing.

Re: Oh, are we playing insult Brian? I'm game! anonymous January 23 2006, 21:27:37 UTC

Joanna, first of all, I don't know if brian just doesn't smile when you're around or what, but when I first met him the first thing he said to me was "You have most beautifully straight hair I've seen since November." I replied with "You have the nicest teeth I've ever seen." They're not yellow or rotting, you must be insane. Also, as for brian needing to get girls drunk to get them into bed, he didn't need to get me drunk. I don't even drink. (Although he did drink a ton and it may have osmosed, he did make me feel warm and dizzy.) Also, I think his hair is sexy, especially the gray parts. -Abby

Re: Oh, are we playing insult Brian? I'm game! bishop610 January 24 2006, 01:05:38 UTC

Ladies, ladies. Please. Joanna, don't listen to twelve-year-olds. Also, there are two things I know I have: Perfect teeth, and an unusually large penis.

What's this hair thing though? I love my hair. I don't think it's getting THAT grey... I've just been under stress lately. You know... I woke up from my dream, and things. My hair's fine.

I think.

-Brian

Re: Oh, are we playing insult Brian? I'm game! bishop610 January 25 2006, 04:15:36 UTC

By "Twelve-year-old" I meant my little sister on the room comment. Abby's like twenty. I'm not a pederast. Just to clarify.

-Brian

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