Ok...I don't post too much, especially anything really going on in my life. But basically I just need to bitch & vent a bit and this is as good a place as any
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You know, when I hit the third paragraph I thought to myself "there's going to be a gender issue here." In general, women have problems with direct approaches and take it personally when you present a critique. Men don't have the same response, they just kind of go with it. There have been a few studies on women in the workplace and women managers' communication styles that show the differences. I'll bet that's a huge part of the problem.
I was thinking gender too at first, but I thought that gender differences might be cancelled out due to the nature of thier work... In my field (I'm a research scientist), there are few differences between the coping/communication skills of the males and females.
I think you can mitigate gender, and in some areas (such as your own, or computer science, perhaps) there may be fewer issues, but I'm not sure you can ever entirely rule it out as a cause in a case like this.
Being a research scientist sounds very cool indeed.
I am glad you both brought up the gender part of it all. I really try not to make such things issues, but also try to be realistic about it all too. I personally believe the difference in gender plays a part of it. And I know the world is full of male/female double standards, this one being that I am expected to treat a woman as my equal, talk to you as I would anyone. But the flip side I have to be aware that I have to treat a woman differently as a man because women can't handle more direct approaches? I realize I am generalizing...insert disclaimer here for "those that this does not apply to" here.
And it is not all gender, as I "bitched" about with the girl who is like this or like that. There is conflict based on individual personalities as well. And again, I do actually like them all, just all of this has come to a head.
It sounds like a bitch nest... One or two bitches can infect an entire workplace since they have a "play by our rules or we'll talk about you and try to get you in trouble" mentality.
I say jerk off in their Jergens and then when you have to talk to them, think about it. Sure, they will think that you are smiling because you are friendly, but inside, you will be laughing too hard to concentrate on hating them.
It is not so much a bitch nest. But there is one who has something negative to say about everything, and once you get things going, others join in...it builds....and then it becomes what it is now.
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Being a research scientist sounds very cool indeed.
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And it is not all gender, as I "bitched" about with the girl who is like this or like that. There is conflict based on individual personalities as well. And again, I do actually like them all, just all of this has come to a head.
OH..Bunster Nancyblue. Nancyblue, Bunster.
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But I have also been accused in the past of being too direct and blunt with co-workers.
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I say jerk off in their Jergens and then when you have to talk to them, think about it. Sure, they will think that you are smiling because you are friendly, but inside, you will be laughing too hard to concentrate on hating them.
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