A Horrible Game part 2
Title: A Horrible Game (2/8?)
Author: bishojo_kitsune
Word Count: 2202
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A game involving lies, conspiracy, and Barney's true doppelganger
Warnings: Crossover with Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog.
Slight crossover with one of the elements from Castle second season finale, but does not need to be watched to be understood (A spoiler warning for that episode still goes in effect though).
Notes: Ok, taking back the 'finished' part, but still trying to make the 'before Fall premeres' goal.
---
Marshall, Lily, Ted, and Robin were still huddled around the table at the bar moments after Barney left. They stared at Barney's iPhone in question still debating what to do next.
"Well? Go see what's he's been doing." Robin gestured at the device.
"Me? Why me?"
"You're his 'best friend'."
"Doesn't mean he's let me use his phone before. Hell, I never even touched the thing!"
"Are you scared of Barney's phone?" Robin accused.
"And what's your excuse Robin? You got to 3rd base with him."
"Uh, I got farther than that Ted. More like home-runs and slam-dunks."
"A slam-dunk is basketball." He corrected.
Robin rolled her eyes, "Screw the sports metaphor. Barney and I-"
"Stop, stop! Lalalalala... Not listening!" Ted clamped his hands over his ears trying to shut her out. "Just...things I don't want to know, ok?"
"You're the one that brought it up, Dad."
"Shh!" Lily called out interrupting Robin and Ted's argument. "Did you find anything Baby?" She asked looking over Marshall's shoulder.
His fingers slid across the screen back and forth, tapping at things at random times. "Almost; most of his things are blocked by a password though."
"Then we'll just have to figure out what it is. How hard could it be? It's probably 'boobs' or something." Robin remarked casually.
Ted frowned, "I don't know guys, maybe there's a reason he keeps things secret. Maybe we shouldn't get in it."
"Ted, you're talking about the guy who buys a first-class ticket to New Zealand for a random girl he just met, just so he can say he banged a girl in New Zealand!" Lily countered, but then sat back with a sigh. "We're his friends, and we're worried. We have to do something. Besides, is there any doubt that he wouldn't do the same for us?"
Everyone else nodded with a murmur of agreement.
"So it's settled!" She clapped her hands in excitement, "Did you get the password yet Marshmallow?"
"Nothing yet Baby. I think the code is numerical. I tried his birthday and every other important date I could think of, but still nothing."
"What about 83?"
"That and every variation that came to mind."
"I'm just impressed that it's not 'booze', 'breasts', or 'bimbos or something." Robin blinked.
"Wait..." Marshall's eyes lit up as if an idea crossed his mind. He grabbed a napkin and a pen as he scribbled something down and then punched the result into the phone. "I'm in!"
They all looked at him in surprise and cheered. "What was it?"
"Eight, zero, zero, eight, three."
"How'd you get that Bro?" Ted asked in surprise.
Marshall passed him the napkin he had just scribbled on. The word 'boob' was written with arrows pointing down from each letter to a corresponding number, 8-0-0-8. The number '83' was written in the corner with an arrow coming off of it pointing to the code he just wrote. Ted then noticed an 'E' with an arrow pointing down to a '+3' tacked onto the end of the code.
"It ends up spelling 'boobie'." Marshall explained feeling proud of himself.
They all just nodded. "Sounds like something Barney would come up with."
Just as Marshall was about to dive further into Barney's phone, Carl signaled to all of them that he was closing up so they all started to get up.
"I guess we'll just have to save Barney's secrets for the morning." Ted shrugged.
"What about when he comes to get his phone back?"
"Then we'll just have to look through it before he does."
Marshall nodded and handed the phone to Ted.
"Hey! Why are you giving it to me?"
"Because...we're having 'company' tonight Ted."
"It's four in the morning!"
"So?"
He rolled his eyes as he realized what Marshall meant, then turned to Robin holding out the phone. "Is there any chance of-"
"No."
"But-"
"No."
"Are you su-"
"Ted. Today the station is planning a farewell party so I have to get into a deep enough sleep so they will think I'm dead. Can't do that with an all-access pass to Barney's phone."
"Great, now you all make it sound like I'm going to dig through everything in his personal life."
Lily grinned at him, patting his shoulder. "At least it'll keep you company."
He gave her a look, "What kind of 'company' are you talking about?"
"Good night Mosby." She said as she and Marshall waved a cab over and left. Ted and Robin watched them go then headed up to the apartment for what was left of the night.
---
Following the address left in Barney's wallet, the stranger who witnessed Barney's abduction finally arrived at his apartment at ten in the morning. He crept in quietly and carefully, his eyes darting around as if a bomb was about to go off if he stepped in the wrong place.
As he got a feel for the residence he noticed that it was emptier than he had imagined. He stood up to his full height and allowed himself to relax for a moment. It was then that he saw a note taped to a thin vase with a lonely yellow flower sitting in it. He pulled off the note and opened it. The word, “Dr. Horrible,” was the sole message the note carried along with a hoof-print stamped in red. The hand he was using to hold the card trembled a bit until he put it down. He then sighed, "Well that went smoothly."
Dr. Horrible allowed himself to collapse onto the couch as he stripped himself of his goggles and gloves. He looked around the place again. They called it a 'vacation', a 'reward', but all he saw it as was a sort of house arrest. He sighed, still it was 'his' place and that entitled use of all its utilities as he saw fit. With that confirmation in his mind the first place he headed was the bedroom, his overstressed muscles applauding the decision.
Dr. Horrible dug through the closet for Barney's pajamas but was unable to find anything other than silk fabrics resembling both a suit and the closest thing to nightwear save for wearing nothing at all. He made a face at the... eccentric tastes he found himself currently in, but shrugged it off as he slipped the garments on. Once he discarded his lab wear and started buttoning up the shirt he caught sight of himself in the closet mirror. Cold blue eyes belonging to the man behind the disguise of mad science, he had almost forgotten all about him. He shook his head; no, what he was seeing were the exact identical features to the apartment's original owner, that was all.
He pressed his lips together, "It's not Billy, Billy's not here anymore. Barney. It's Barney Stinson now." Sighing, he closed the door and let himself collapse on the bed, succumbing to sleep before making contact with the bed.
---
The next time Barney returned to the land of consciousness he was half-awake and being tossed to and fro in the back of a dark truck. He woke-up fully as a toolbox slid into his forehead. As he got his thoughts together he noticed that the only light he had was streaming in from a tiny window connecting the front to the back. Barney tried standing up, but the motions of the truck prevented him from remaining that way. He ended up being knocked down until someone from the front seat finally took notice.
"Awake Doctor?"
"Huwuh...?"
"You have been captured due to the collaborative efforts of the Guild of Heroes!" An overly confident and cheerful voice echoed out, "Have a nice day."
---
Marshall and Lily stopped by Ted's apartment around 11 in the morning. Robin was still asleep while Ted looked like the exact opposite. "Morning guys..."
"Ted, did you sleep at all?"
"I tried."
"Too busy surfing Barney's phone?"
"No, that's just it, I can't bring myself too."
"Why?"
"It haunts me guys."
They both looked at him oddly, "...Really? Like how?"
"It's-It's like Pandora's Box guys, if I start looking I'll get cursed."
"By what?"
"The void left by Barney's missing conscience maybe?" Ted shrugged.
"Are you still drunk from last night buddy?" Marshall patted his shoulder.
Ted swatted him away, "Anyway, we're all here, so we can all look through it together."
"*Coward*" Lily coughed.
Ted threw her a look as he got out the phone."So has Barney contacted you guys yet?"
"No, did you get a hold of you?"
"No, surprisingly, I haven't heard from him since last night. Of course we do have his phone hostage and all." He cleared his throat, "Maybe we should go check on him just in case. I mean, you never know..."
"Now you're just stalling." Lily said rolling her eyes and grabbing the phone from him. She started scrolling through his 'calls made' history. "Let's see, there are some blocked numbers here, some calls made to...some company or something, Ted, me, and random numbers of whom I probably don't want to know where they go." She went back and looked through his text messages, "Bimbo, bimbo, bimbo..."
"How can you tell?"
"That's what he named the numbers." She showed them the screen. "He names them bimbo 1, 2, etc."
"Did you read the messages?"
"Do we really want to do that?"
They all thought about it for a moment, then simultaneously shook their heads.
"Hmm... He's been texting the blocked numbers too."
"How often?"
"A lot these past couple of days."
Marshall glanced at the screen, "During work hours too."
"Should we read them?"
"Be my guest Mosby." She handed the phone to him.
Ted sighed, "'Hey, your next assignment is to drop off the goods at the hotel at 22nd and 7th and await further instructions. Our people will be there, you'll know when you see them.'"
Marshall's eyes widened, "Spy code! That's definitely spy code!"
"What?"
"Oh man, oh man you guys! Barney's totally caught up in spy dealings!" He gasped, "Barney's a spy!"
"...Marshall... Listen yourself." Ted said calmly.
"This can't be your serious theory, right Baby?"
Marshall ignored both of them, "Everything makes sense now, so much sense. His random hours, why he's never working, the magic tricks..."
"Ok, Barney's the GNB spy," Ted continued to roll his eyes. "Still doesn't explain why only now he's been acting so weird."
"Maybe he botched his last mission and he has to be extra careful. Maybe that's why he was almost fired!"
"Marshall, they don't 'fire' spies. They burn them."
"Real life isn't like 'Burn Notice' Ted."
"How do you know?"
"Ok, boys, boys," Lily waved her hands to calm them down; "We still don't know what we're going to do. Should we confront him?"
"No!" Marshall protested, "Then he'd be forced to kill us."
"We're still worried, there has to be something we can do."
"Trust him?" Ted suggested.
"I was thinking we could just ask him."
"It was your idea to take his phone in the first place Lily."
"No! It was Robin's!"
Marshall looked at the clock, "Well it's 12, he's usually home around this time on Saturdays anyway."
---
Billy was in a deep enough sleep that he didn't notice the door to the apartment opening or the door to the bedroom. Ted, Marshall, and Lily stood over his bed, "Oh good, he's home."
"Aww," Lily looked over him, "He looks so innocent; too bad it's only when he sleeps though. He looks so tired too."
He let out a light snore.
"Careful Baby, he's probably been imbued with ninja sleeper skills. The slightest wrong move and he could kill us all!"
He shivered slightly as he tossed and turned a bit.
"He looks cold. Maybe I should get him a blanket." Lily ran out of the room to look for some.
Marshall called out after her, "Careful Baby, there could be booby traps!"
"Dude, we've been here plenty of times, how is today any different?"
Marshall shrugged, "He wasn't on active duty then?"
"...Uh-huh." Ted reached over and placed Barney's phone on the small table by the bed. "There, it was like we never had it!"
"He's going to notice."
"He's not going to notice."
"Did you at least wipe off our fingerprints?"
"Did I do what now?"
Marshall looked like he was about to panic when Lily came back into the room with a large comforter. "There, this should be enough. Good thing I hid some beddings before I moved out." She opened it and spread it over the sleeping form. "Hopefully this will help."
"Can't hurt at least." Marshall noticed him still turning in his sleep, the shine of the silk flashing everywhere. "It'd probably be better if he wasn't sleeping in that. Should've listened to me about that nightshirt, Barns."
"So..." Ted looked around, “Now what?"
Marshall shrugged, "Make him some breakfast? Maybe then he won't notice the whole phone thing."
"Great idea Baby, I have a few things to say to him when he wakes up."
They all left the room as they headed for the kitchen, the figure in the bed continuing to sleep with a soft smile on his face.