a meme not about tits
I am stealing this from UglyBuffy to give me something to write about. I hope I can make it through a full thirty days and that my readers don’t get too bored. Since I don’t know how to do the link thingy with LJ names, Ugly Buffy, you don’t get full credit for this. Sorry!
Day 01 - Introduce yourself
Day 02 - Your first love, in great detail
Day 03 - Your parents, in great detail
Day 04 - What you ate today, in great detail
Day 05 - Your definition of love, in great detail
Day 06 - Your day, in great detail
Day 07 - Your best friend, in great detail
Day 08 - A moment, in great detail
Day 09 - Your beliefs, in great detail
Day 10 - What you wore today, in great detail
Day 11 - Your siblings, in great detail
Day 12 - What’s in your bag, in great detail
Day 13 - This week, in great detail
Day 14 - What you wore today, in great detail
Day 15 - Your dreams, in great detail
Day 16 - Your first kiss, in great detail
Day 17 - Your favorite memory, in great detail
Day 18 - Your favorite birthday, in great detail
Day 19 - Something you regret, in great detail
Day 20 - This month, in great detail
Day 21 - Another moment, in great detail
Day 22 - Something that upsets you, in great detail
Day 23 - Something that makes you feel better, in great detail
Day 24 - Something that makes you cry, in great detail
Day 25 - A first, in great detail
Day 26 - Your fears, in great detail
Day 27 - Your favorite place, in great detail
Day 28 - Something that you miss, in great detail
Day 29 - Your aspirations, in great detail
Day 30 - One last moment, in great detail
My birth name is Dawn Marie Merrill and I was born on October 22, 1978 in Fridley, Minnesota. I grew up in HUD housing since my mother became a single parent for the second time when I was still a baby. We moved to Burnsville, Minnesota when I was almost three years old and this is where the HUD housing units were. They were (still are) called The Townhomes of Chowen Bend. I looked them up online and it’s a very dangerous place nowadays apparently.
I started reading when I was three and the first book I read was “Green Eggs and Ham” by Dr. Seuss. The first word I recall reading was the word “Lee” on the back of my sister’s jeans.
In early elementary school I was outgoing and always at the head of my class. In reading groups and math groups, I was always in the top group. When my brother Cam died when I was in the fifth grade, my grades were still high (all Es) but my teacher in sixth grade wrote that I had a negative attitude on my report card. It was around this time that I would steal laundry quarters from my mom to go and buy Nutty Bars and Coke from the vending machines at A&B Auto Electric, which was located behind the townhomes. I think this is when my “stress eating” started.
Junior high was okay for seventh grade but I got really sick near the end of the year, missing 27 days in the last quarter of school alone. I went from one doctor to another with none of them knowing what was wrong with me. I had my first boyfriend the summer after 7th grade but, despite his wanting to, I didn’t even let him kiss me.
In October of 1992, my mom and I moved up to her hometown (Ely, Minnesota) and I was still an extremely ill child. I couldn’t even partake in gym class as I had no energy. Due to the symptoms of the illness, I lost 30 pounds in a month, going from 135 to 105 pounds. It was at the end of 8th grade that the doctors found out what was wrong with me and I was relieved. Ulcerative Colitis is what I was diagnosed with, and from the age of 14 to about 20 I was taking sulfasalazine pills every day. When I became too old for my dad’s insurance to cover me, I stopped taking the meds. I have had two flare ups since then but am otherwise okay in that department.
Living in Ely was pure hell for me. I was a new kid in a town of less than 4,000 people. By this time, due to my sickness, I had become shy and extremely withdrawn and didn’t talk to anybody but immediate family, really, for years. I wouldn’t even talk to distant family (like aunts or something) until I had Jack. This shyness got so bad that I wouldn’t even pick the telephone up when it rang (I still hate talking on the phone and if I know someone is going to call, I make excuses for why I didn’t answer), order pizzas or talk directly to a salesperson, instead speaking to my friend and having them tell the shoesalesman or whoever what I was looking for. I was still an excellent student, though, but by this time it was because of a fear of not succeeding. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself for not doing homework or doing poorly on an exam. I have never had to study. If I read or hear something once, it sticks in my brain (although I am very scatterbrained).
In October of 2003 my mom and I moved back to Burnsville and being in a much larger junior high school was easier for me. I could get lost and be a non-entity. High school was hell, too, because I was so different than those who I went to school with. Burnsville used to be (still might be) a rich suburb (of Minneapolis) and brand names were in and I wandered around with my CD player in my pocket, listening to Jawbreaker, Screeching Weasel, Social Distortion, The Replacements, the Gear Daddies...while wearing combat boots, Chucks and an old German Army jacket. I was different. As far as not bringing attention to myself, my looks did bring attention and bullying so I became more of loner, having only two close friends my entire high school career. My close female friend and I once went to another girl’s house and she said to me, “My mom is coming home soon. You need to go. She doesn’t like me having ugly friends.” WTF. So, even when told I am pretty I deny it and I know I am as ugly as sin.
Graduation in 1997 was pure freedom.
Surprisingly, despite my shyness, I went away to college (Hancock, Michigan) and made several friends. In my first year I was extremely sXe but ended up losing my virginity at 19 (he had a three inch penis...I kid you all not) and became less and less shy and nervous. By the second year I became the girl you knew who could hook you up with whatever you needed or wanted...movies? Check. Alcohol? Check. Weed? Check. I became a stoner and spent thousands and thousands of dollars in my second year on weed. Surprisingly enough I got straight-As that year since smoking marijuana made me extraordinarily paranoid, and, once again, not to disappoint instructors and draw attention to myself, did every single piece of homework and did them well.
I met a guy who didn’t toke up so I stopped and started drinking in place of it. He will be discussed tomorrow (insha’Sheytan). I used to bring a thermos of OJ and vodka to my night classes to get through them while wearing I love Porn T-shirts and having my facial piercings admired.
After graduating with my AA in English (with honors) from Suomi College in 1999, I stayed on while the school became Finlandia University. I graduated from there in 2001 (again with honors) with my BA in Liberal Studies (Literature). I was one course away from getting a dual BA but they had added that course my last semester and I had too many credits or else I would also have my BA in Religion, as well.
In October of 2001, I flew out to New Jersey to hang out with my SCA friend “Brendan Murray” in Trenton. We had started making some future plans but then I got sucked into Islam in December. By February my mom had kicked me out (I was living with her in Ely at the time and she “needed [her] space’” and I moved in with a guy and we had an “imam nikah” and I got pregnant in March/April. When I was four months pregnant I left him because he was crazy. I moved in with my dad and Jack Edward Fenian Merrill was born in November of 2002. In April of 2003 I was granted full legal and physical custody and, needing a job, my Arabic teacher told me about the university I work at now. It was here (actually in Istanbul) that I met Veysel. I was a young, single mom and there’s no “dating” in Islam...so we’re married now.
In July of 2004 we moved to Turkey and we lived there for three years, where I gave birth to Dani Muyesser Fianna Kilic on July 2nd, 2007. When she was two months old we moved back to Kyrgyzstan and another baby, Yagmur Hatice Sybil Kilic, was born on July 28th, 2009.
While in Turkey I realized how ridiculous (to me) religion really is and have been living a double-life as a good Muslim woman and an atheist. It gets very hard to keep up this front.
I am definitely coming to a crossroad in my life and I have no idea, really, what I am going to do.
In short, I am intelligent. I am shy. I am a mother. I am ugly. That’s me.
Day 01 - Introduce yourself
Day 02 - Your first love, in great detail
Day 03 - Your parents, in great detail
Day 04 - What you ate today, in great detail
Day 05 - Your definition of love, in great detail
Day 06 - Your day, in great detail
Day 07 - Your best friend, in great detail
Day 08 - A moment, in great detail
Day 09 - Your beliefs, in great detail
Day 10 - What you wore today, in great detail
Day 11 - Your siblings, in great detail
Day 12 - What’s in your bag, in great detail
Day 13 - This week, in great detail
Day 14 - What you wore today, in great detail
Day 15 - Your dreams, in great detail
Day 16 - Your first kiss, in great detail
Day 17 - Your favorite memory, in great detail
Day 18 - Your favorite birthday, in great detail
Day 19 - Something you regret, in great detail
Day 20 - This month, in great detail
Day 21 - Another moment, in great detail
Day 22 - Something that upsets you, in great detail
Day 23 - Something that makes you feel better, in great detail
Day 24 - Something that makes you cry, in great detail
Day 25 - A first, in great detail
Day 26 - Your fears, in great detail
Day 27 - Your favorite place, in great detail
Day 28 - Something that you miss, in great detail
Day 29 - Your aspirations, in great detail
Day 30 - One last moment, in great detail
My birth name is Dawn Marie Merrill and I was born on October 22, 1978 in Fridley, Minnesota. I grew up in HUD housing since my mother became a single parent for the second time when I was still a baby. We moved to Burnsville, Minnesota when I was almost three years old and this is where the HUD housing units were. They were (still are) called The Townhomes of Chowen Bend. I looked them up online and it’s a very dangerous place nowadays apparently.
I started reading when I was three and the first book I read was “Green Eggs and Ham” by Dr. Seuss. The first word I recall reading was the word “Lee” on the back of my sister’s jeans.
In early elementary school I was outgoing and always at the head of my class. In reading groups and math groups, I was always in the top group. When my brother Cam died when I was in the fifth grade, my grades were still high (all Es) but my teacher in sixth grade wrote that I had a negative attitude on my report card. It was around this time that I would steal laundry quarters from my mom to go and buy Nutty Bars and Coke from the vending machines at A&B Auto Electric, which was located behind the townhomes. I think this is when my “stress eating” started.
Junior high was okay for seventh grade but I got really sick near the end of the year, missing 27 days in the last quarter of school alone. I went from one doctor to another with none of them knowing what was wrong with me. I had my first boyfriend the summer after 7th grade but, despite his wanting to, I didn’t even let him kiss me.
In October of 1992, my mom and I moved up to her hometown (Ely, Minnesota) and I was still an extremely ill child. I couldn’t even partake in gym class as I had no energy. Due to the symptoms of the illness, I lost 30 pounds in a month, going from 135 to 105 pounds. It was at the end of 8th grade that the doctors found out what was wrong with me and I was relieved. Ulcerative Colitis is what I was diagnosed with, and from the age of 14 to about 20 I was taking sulfasalazine pills every day. When I became too old for my dad’s insurance to cover me, I stopped taking the meds. I have had two flare ups since then but am otherwise okay in that department.
Living in Ely was pure hell for me. I was a new kid in a town of less than 4,000 people. By this time, due to my sickness, I had become shy and extremely withdrawn and didn’t talk to anybody but immediate family, really, for years. I wouldn’t even talk to distant family (like aunts or something) until I had Jack. This shyness got so bad that I wouldn’t even pick the telephone up when it rang (I still hate talking on the phone and if I know someone is going to call, I make excuses for why I didn’t answer), order pizzas or talk directly to a salesperson, instead speaking to my friend and having them tell the shoesalesman or whoever what I was looking for. I was still an excellent student, though, but by this time it was because of a fear of not succeeding. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself for not doing homework or doing poorly on an exam. I have never had to study. If I read or hear something once, it sticks in my brain (although I am very scatterbrained).
In October of 2003 my mom and I moved back to Burnsville and being in a much larger junior high school was easier for me. I could get lost and be a non-entity. High school was hell, too, because I was so different than those who I went to school with. Burnsville used to be (still might be) a rich suburb (of Minneapolis) and brand names were in and I wandered around with my CD player in my pocket, listening to Jawbreaker, Screeching Weasel, Social Distortion, The Replacements, the Gear Daddies...while wearing combat boots, Chucks and an old German Army jacket. I was different. As far as not bringing attention to myself, my looks did bring attention and bullying so I became more of loner, having only two close friends my entire high school career. My close female friend and I once went to another girl’s house and she said to me, “My mom is coming home soon. You need to go. She doesn’t like me having ugly friends.” WTF. So, even when told I am pretty I deny it and I know I am as ugly as sin.
Graduation in 1997 was pure freedom.
Surprisingly, despite my shyness, I went away to college (Hancock, Michigan) and made several friends. In my first year I was extremely sXe but ended up losing my virginity at 19 (he had a three inch penis...I kid you all not) and became less and less shy and nervous. By the second year I became the girl you knew who could hook you up with whatever you needed or wanted...movies? Check. Alcohol? Check. Weed? Check. I became a stoner and spent thousands and thousands of dollars in my second year on weed. Surprisingly enough I got straight-As that year since smoking marijuana made me extraordinarily paranoid, and, once again, not to disappoint instructors and draw attention to myself, did every single piece of homework and did them well.
I met a guy who didn’t toke up so I stopped and started drinking in place of it. He will be discussed tomorrow (insha’Sheytan). I used to bring a thermos of OJ and vodka to my night classes to get through them while wearing I love Porn T-shirts and having my facial piercings admired.
After graduating with my AA in English (with honors) from Suomi College in 1999, I stayed on while the school became Finlandia University. I graduated from there in 2001 (again with honors) with my BA in Liberal Studies (Literature). I was one course away from getting a dual BA but they had added that course my last semester and I had too many credits or else I would also have my BA in Religion, as well.
In October of 2001, I flew out to New Jersey to hang out with my SCA friend “Brendan Murray” in Trenton. We had started making some future plans but then I got sucked into Islam in December. By February my mom had kicked me out (I was living with her in Ely at the time and she “needed [her] space’” and I moved in with a guy and we had an “imam nikah” and I got pregnant in March/April. When I was four months pregnant I left him because he was crazy. I moved in with my dad and Jack Edward Fenian Merrill was born in November of 2002. In April of 2003 I was granted full legal and physical custody and, needing a job, my Arabic teacher told me about the university I work at now. It was here (actually in Istanbul) that I met Veysel. I was a young, single mom and there’s no “dating” in Islam...so we’re married now.
In July of 2004 we moved to Turkey and we lived there for three years, where I gave birth to Dani Muyesser Fianna Kilic on July 2nd, 2007. When she was two months old we moved back to Kyrgyzstan and another baby, Yagmur Hatice Sybil Kilic, was born on July 28th, 2009.
While in Turkey I realized how ridiculous (to me) religion really is and have been living a double-life as a good Muslim woman and an atheist. It gets very hard to keep up this front.
I am definitely coming to a crossroad in my life and I have no idea, really, what I am going to do.
In short, I am intelligent. I am shy. I am a mother. I am ugly. That’s me.