You have no target. Your target is dead.
I've been feeling unnaturally pessimistic and neurotic lately. It's frustrating because I know I have no reason to be, but I can't seem to cheer up. I feel awkward being around people I've known for ages, and even though my skin is clearing up and I'm losing weight (bit by bit) I feel more like a loser than ever. I don't know, it just seems that everywhere I go there's a dark cloud over my head.
I know that one of the side affects of the medication I'm on (Accutane) is depression. I started taking the pills knowing this, so whenever I feel myself getting down I'll force myself into a situation that might cheer me up, like seeing a funny movie, going out with a friend, or treating myself to a new shirt, or something. Lately though, it's just been fruitless labour. I just feel blah all the time.
Of course, it doesn't help that almost every day is the same. With the exception of whenever Kelly is here, my days are just wake up, work, eat, sleep, rinse, repeat. I am LONGING for a change. School starts in a week and a half but UGH it's taking so LONG!
So I've decided that this week I am going to change arond the thing that is most immediate to me: my room. I've already changed rooms in my house, which is great, but this new room is still a mess from moving into it and it's really starting to feel stuffy and smothering. I'll clean it, organize it, get out all the stuff I'll be using on a regular basis and put it out front and put away all the stuff I seldom use or look at. After that, a new coat of paint will be in order. I'm thinking red. I'm sick of wishy-washy, I need BOLD.
I'm also going to make my lunch every single night for work the next day. I always end up eating things that aren't great for me because of their convenience. I'm also going to do a ten minute workout every night before I go to bed, and get a haircut.
I've decided I'm going to follow this strictly for at least a week, then evaluate and tweak things as necessary. I really, really just want a change for the better. I'm so bored with everything, and I really hate it. All the things that usually bring me some level of contentment are leaving me annoyed and full of a sick-and-tired feeling that makes me irritable and awkward. I want to feel involved with my life again.
Day One starts tomorrow :D
But first, I'll play some WoW. Lvl 37, w00t.
I know that one of the side affects of the medication I'm on (Accutane) is depression. I started taking the pills knowing this, so whenever I feel myself getting down I'll force myself into a situation that might cheer me up, like seeing a funny movie, going out with a friend, or treating myself to a new shirt, or something. Lately though, it's just been fruitless labour. I just feel blah all the time.
Of course, it doesn't help that almost every day is the same. With the exception of whenever Kelly is here, my days are just wake up, work, eat, sleep, rinse, repeat. I am LONGING for a change. School starts in a week and a half but UGH it's taking so LONG!
So I've decided that this week I am going to change arond the thing that is most immediate to me: my room. I've already changed rooms in my house, which is great, but this new room is still a mess from moving into it and it's really starting to feel stuffy and smothering. I'll clean it, organize it, get out all the stuff I'll be using on a regular basis and put it out front and put away all the stuff I seldom use or look at. After that, a new coat of paint will be in order. I'm thinking red. I'm sick of wishy-washy, I need BOLD.
I'm also going to make my lunch every single night for work the next day. I always end up eating things that aren't great for me because of their convenience. I'm also going to do a ten minute workout every night before I go to bed, and get a haircut.
I've decided I'm going to follow this strictly for at least a week, then evaluate and tweak things as necessary. I really, really just want a change for the better. I'm so bored with everything, and I really hate it. All the things that usually bring me some level of contentment are leaving me annoyed and full of a sick-and-tired feeling that makes me irritable and awkward. I want to feel involved with my life again.
Day One starts tomorrow :D
But first, I'll play some WoW. Lvl 37, w00t.