(no subject)
I've said it before and I'll say it again:
People who support Christmas are crazy.
The holiday season rolls around and everyone is expected to be nice and cheery, with rosy cheeks and bowls of jelly. But what if you just came off a horrible day of work and there's nothing in the world that will make you cheery? Then you get called a fucking Grinch and people look at you like you killed Jesus.
Just because Jesus' birth happens to be around the corner doesn't mean you have to turn into some sort of Holiday Lunatic. Same goes for that whole Hanukkah thing and let's not forget Yule or Kwanzaa. In fact, just to be PC, let me include some Satanic Holidays in here and even Ramadan and um what else is nearby?
As I was saying, just because Jesus Christ or your mother's credit card happens to be peering over your shoulder doesn't mean you have to start getting all ooey gooey on everyone. I don't want to hear a whimsical holiday story, nor do I want you to tell me you love me out of nowhere just because you watched Scrooge last night.
Unless, of course, there actually IS some sort of ghost leering over your head informing you that chains will be bound to you forevermore unless you calm down, then I don't think there's any reason to turn into the complete opposite of yourself over December. You don't see me getting harassed by Jacob Marley, so I doubt you're getting the old one two choke hold thanks to his sterling silver QVC chains either.
1. The term `Christmas Nazi` is kind of lame. I highly doubt you're conducting a mass genocide on anyone who happens to gift wrap your presents oddly. Unless you are, of course, in which case - more power to you! You teach those sluts what's what in the world of Santa Claus covered wrapping paper.
2. Admit it, you are only in it for the presents. Some of us, the very few of us, are in it to get all lovey dovey aw i wuv my family! for one month out of the year. A tiny, tiny fraction of society is in it for the religious aspect. Everyone else? Yeah, pass me a motorized scooter on Christmas morning with no hugs involved and I'll be as happy as a freshly molested clam. Thanks a million!
3. It's the holidays and that means it's time to start letting go all of your negativity and focuses on humanitarian acts! Do something for society! Humanity is sacred! Volunteer! Love everyone! So you hop up and throw your hands into the air and wave `em like you just started to care! For the first time in your life, you are at one with the universe! So you hop to it.
4. As you sit there dwelling on these things -- how beautiful life is, loving everyone -- Jesus peers over your shoulder with a disapproving (yet accepting, because while he forgives you for everything, he's kind of like your parents in the way that it kind of sucks when he's all "man, i can't believe this shit") glow about him. "My Child," he says, because Jesus pushed you out of his vagina much like your mother long ago. "My Child, it is time that you embrace all the good things in your life and wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Fuck that Happy Holidays bullshit, YOU HEAR ME!"
Merry Christmas, everyone!
People who support Christmas are crazy.
The holiday season rolls around and everyone is expected to be nice and cheery, with rosy cheeks and bowls of jelly. But what if you just came off a horrible day of work and there's nothing in the world that will make you cheery? Then you get called a fucking Grinch and people look at you like you killed Jesus.
Just because Jesus' birth happens to be around the corner doesn't mean you have to turn into some sort of Holiday Lunatic. Same goes for that whole Hanukkah thing and let's not forget Yule or Kwanzaa. In fact, just to be PC, let me include some Satanic Holidays in here and even Ramadan and um what else is nearby?
As I was saying, just because Jesus Christ or your mother's credit card happens to be peering over your shoulder doesn't mean you have to start getting all ooey gooey on everyone. I don't want to hear a whimsical holiday story, nor do I want you to tell me you love me out of nowhere just because you watched Scrooge last night.
Unless, of course, there actually IS some sort of ghost leering over your head informing you that chains will be bound to you forevermore unless you calm down, then I don't think there's any reason to turn into the complete opposite of yourself over December. You don't see me getting harassed by Jacob Marley, so I doubt you're getting the old one two choke hold thanks to his sterling silver QVC chains either.
1. The term `Christmas Nazi` is kind of lame. I highly doubt you're conducting a mass genocide on anyone who happens to gift wrap your presents oddly. Unless you are, of course, in which case - more power to you! You teach those sluts what's what in the world of Santa Claus covered wrapping paper.
2. Admit it, you are only in it for the presents. Some of us, the very few of us, are in it to get all lovey dovey aw i wuv my family! for one month out of the year. A tiny, tiny fraction of society is in it for the religious aspect. Everyone else? Yeah, pass me a motorized scooter on Christmas morning with no hugs involved and I'll be as happy as a freshly molested clam. Thanks a million!
3. It's the holidays and that means it's time to start letting go all of your negativity and focuses on humanitarian acts! Do something for society! Humanity is sacred! Volunteer! Love everyone! So you hop up and throw your hands into the air and wave `em like you just started to care! For the first time in your life, you are at one with the universe! So you hop to it.
4. As you sit there dwelling on these things -- how beautiful life is, loving everyone -- Jesus peers over your shoulder with a disapproving (yet accepting, because while he forgives you for everything, he's kind of like your parents in the way that it kind of sucks when he's all "man, i can't believe this shit") glow about him. "My Child," he says, because Jesus pushed you out of his vagina much like your mother long ago. "My Child, it is time that you embrace all the good things in your life and wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Fuck that Happy Holidays bullshit, YOU HEAR ME!"
Merry Christmas, everyone!