all cried out (for now)
today i cried harder than i have in a long while. i just have many things on my mind. lately i have been thinking about a lot of things. for instance, the whole jen thing. (for those of you who dont know ill make a looong story short. she is this gorgeously beautiful, tan, skinny, did i mention gorgeous, girl that threw herself at brian...needless to say im completely insecure about it, and i cant seem to get it out of my head). also ive been thinking about my fear of losing brian when i go to college....im just scared....i dont know what i would do without him, hes my best friend....and i am just so afraid because the future is uncertain. also, sometimes i get so frustrated with his sarcasm. i mean sometimes he doesnt realize that he makes me feel bad...today after i got off the phone with him, i put on "the scientist" by coldplay, and i was looking at some pictures of us on my mirror...and i was thinking about everything i mentioned above and more and i just started crying so hard...like i mean HARD....and eventually i sat down, which turned into laying down on my floor crying about so many things. it has been building up, but today, it just all came out...i just feel so down...more than anything i just need to feel loved, wanted, and needed right now.....
i really do......
i really do......