[OneShot] I'll Be Your Angel, So Don't Cry - Luhan, Sehun
Author: geniebsmart
Title: I’ll Be Your Angel, So Don’t Cry
Rating: G
Genre: General, Fluff
Characters: Luhan, Sehun
Summary: Sehun gets an unexpected visit that will change his life forever.
Author’s Note: OMG guys! My very first EXO fic ;A; Nervous LOL! This fic is for jaerotic. Hope you like angel!Luhan, dear <3 Everyone, hope you enjoy as well :D Happy reading!
Oh, the smell of fish in the morning.
Sehun loathed it with a passion.
Waking each morning at 5AM to go to work was one thing. Waking each morning at 5AM to go to work at the harbor to haul stinky, smelly fish was another. To be clear, Sehun has no disrespect for the fishermen who work this job every single day. It’s just like most jobs: some are not meant for others, and Sehun is no fishermen. It was no wonder after the first few weeks on the job that Sehun became nauseated with the whole thing.
If Sehun could control current events, he would already be out of college and working in a law firm in Seoul. If not that reality, Sehun would be dancing and singing on stage like some of his favorite music artists that he loved since childhood.
However, Sehun could not control current events. He could not control the fact that he lost all three of his jobs in the same week. He could not control who could hire him out of the 7 interviews he went to. He could not control the way the money (which was not a lot) was disappearing from his bank account. He could not control how he needed to find a way to feed himself. He could not control how he approached the docks one foggy morning, where a boat man just so happened needed more hands at the harbor.
He could not control his desperation…
Well, this is how Sehun thought anyway. He felt he had no control. If he did, he wouldn’t be feeling so helpless and out of control, right?
Sehun leaned over the railing of the boat, looking out into the sea. He somewhat envied the water. It could stretch for miles and miles and seem to have no end. No limits. Sehun, though, is very limited. Resting his chin on the back of his hand, he imagined for just a moment what it would be like to be like the water. To go forth far and wide, touching anything and everything and yet remain untouchable. To not feel so pressured with life and just flow just how he likes it.
“Sehun! Stop daydreaming. That’s not going to put food on the table. You wanted a job, so do it!”
Sehun heaved a long sigh before standing straight back up. He turned around to go back to packing the fish. The nausea settled back in again, along with the hesitating acceptance that what the boat man said was the truth.
**********
He seems so tired.
He seems really tired though.
Hmm.
Please?
<…>
I know the rules. I won’t be long.
I…didn’t think that far.
Yah~
Like I said. I won’t stay long. There won’t be enough time for him to get attached.
************
Sehun started his trek back home from the harbor after the whistle blew, signaling the end of today’s work for the temp hands. Sehun was so thrilled he nearly forgot his duffle bag when he rushed away from the boat.
Fortunately, his home was not too far from the bay, so he didn’t have to walk far to and from work. “One of the blessings I can count about this job I guess,” Sehun mumbled to himself. He could probably think of more of these blessings, but blessings did mean anything to him in the end. Besides, he just didn’t have the energy right now. He just wanted to go home.
So imagine the frustration when he gets ran over by an unknown force, knocking the wind out of him and sent him hurling into the concrete ground. Sehun saw the sky and buildings above him spinning. Or was he spinning? He wasn’t sure. However, he was sure that whatever hit him was a force to be reckoned with. He grasped his head with both of his hands, trying to still the world around him.
There was a groan.
Sehun was startled for a minute. He slowly opened his eyes and looked to the right of him.
Oh no, he got hit too?
Sehun legitimately thought at this point there must have been a hit-and-run just now because there was no way that the small-framed figure lying on the ground he was looking at was the cause of the massive collision he just experienced.
Sehun propped himself on his elbow and called out to the boy. “Yah~are you okay?”
The figure stirred and groaned again. It mumbled something before sitting up to look at Sehun.
“Yeah…I’m fine. Sorry about that just now.”
“Huh?” Sehun asked in confusion. The hit-and-run wasn’t the boy’s fault.
Unless…
No way.
The other boy rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “I apologize for running into you like that. I was…erm…in a hurry to get somewhere. Hehe~”
Sehun near dropped his jaw but contained himself quickly. “Um no no, it’s okay…I guess.” He mumbled that last part as he started to stand up.
“Please, let me help you up!” Before Sehun could refuse the offer, the other boy had rushed to Sehun’s side with an outstretched hand.
“I’m Luhan. What’s your name?”
“S-Sehun.”
The boy named Luhan grinned boyishly. “Nice to meet you, Sehun.” Finally.
Sehun suddenly felt a warmth overwhelm his being as he looked at Luhan. Without thinking, Sehun reached his hand up to grab Luhan’s. “Yeah…nice to meet you too.”
One had no idea how different the other’s world was; one was very much aware. Even so, the two worlds had connected.
*********
*********
Sehun wasn’t sure how it all happened.
No. He lied. He knew how.
At the same time, he didn’t know.
Sehun knew of all the days that passed since the strange, doe-eyed Luhan collided (literally) into his life. The times he somehow showed up at the harbor when Sehun’s mood was the darkest. The times Luhan knocked on his apartment door at random hours in the day to deliver food or simply say “hello.” He knew about all that.
He just didn’t know how and when it started to feel so right.
Sehun has always been a lone wolf. His parents were never willing to help him out. He didn’t have many friends either. He didn’t really care for having friends though. He had too much drama in his life to have others join in the mix.
Therefore, it really came as a surprise to him when he started to look forward to Luhan’s surprise visits every day. The more Luhan appeared, the more Sehun’s days didn’t seem so foggy and bleary. Things started to become more clear and bright through Sehun’s eyes. It was like clarity descended into his life. A clarity named Luhan, thought Sehun as he sat in his small apartment. As if on cue, a knock came from the door. Sehun was bit too excited as he jumped up from his chair, only to trip on the rug and fall flat on his face. When the knock came again, he quickly hopped up and moved towards the door. Sehun grinned when he was right who the visitor was. “Luhan! Hi!”
“Hey,” Luhan smiled back. When his eyes traveled up to Sehun’s hair, he burst into giggles.
“What?” Sehun asked. Why was Luhan laughing?
“Hehehe your hair…what happened? I heard something crash earlier.”
Sehun quickly reached his hands up to his hair, trying to smooth it down. “Well um…I kinda tripped.” The blush didn’t go unnoticed to Luhan.
Luhan laughed again as he saw what Sehun was doing to his hair. “Hey, you’re messing it up even more. Here.”
If Sehun felt a tinge of heat in his cheeks before, he now felt fire burning through his whole face. Luhan was now merely inches from him, smoothing Sehun’s hair into decent order. This was the first time Sehun saw Luhan’s face really up close. Really up close. Seeing Luhan’s face so close…Sehun couldn’t form words. The guy was unreal to him.
“There. Your hair looks more presentable now.”
Sehun didn’t quite register Luhan’s words in his muddled mind, but his own words came out strikingly clear.
“Stay with me.”
Sehun saw it. The indecipherable emotion playing across Luhan’s features before settling back into an innocent grin.
“Not today. Gotta head home for the evening. Just stopped by to say hello.”
“Could I call you?”
“No.”
Sehun panicked slightly when Luhan started to move away from the door.
“W-wait! Why not?”
“No phone.”
“…you don’t have a phone?”
“Nope.”
“Well…how do I contact you?”
Sehun was starting to scare himself. Why was he acting like this?
“You don’t contact me. I contact you.”
“Why does it have to be like this though? Is it wrong I want to talk to you more? See you more?”
Luhan paused in his steps, his back now to Sehun. Sehun felt a sense of dread hang in the air but wasn’t sure how to pinpoint it.
“Sehun…I’ll have to leave soon.”
“What?”
“I can’t stay here. That’s why I didn’t want to see you too much.”
“I don’t understand…”
Luhan didn’t have the heart to turn around and look. He could picture clearly the gambit of emotions flowing through Sehun now.
“I can’t explain everything…yet. Just wait, okay?”
“Luhan, wait!”
By the time Sehun called out to Luhan, he had already rounded the corner of the stairs of the apartment building. Not wasting a second, Sehun rushed down the stairs to catch up to Luhan.
“Luhan? Luhan??”
Sehun reached the bottom of the steps and look around for the other boy.
There was no sign of him.
**********
Listen, please, I just need a little more time.
I still need to do something for him. I’m not ready.
I’m aware of the risks. I’m ready to face whatever comes my way.
<…I should not have let you gone.>
Please. If you allow me this chance, I will not set myself before him anymore.
<…Very well. You have my commission.>
Thank you.
I am aware. I will do what I need to do. Worry not for me.
<…..>
***********
Sehun had never been so anxious before in his life. It had been days since he heard or seen Luhan. Every day, Sehun would peak at the docks while packing the fish, hoping to catch a certain doe-eyed young boy. He would stay up late sometimes and peer out the window of his small apartment, hoping to catch Luhan walking up to his home at night. Before Sehun realized, he found himself going out more. Walking to the grocery store more frequently. Stopping by the park every so often. Strolling through the streets of downtown. Even visiting the docks for non-business purposes. Deep down, Sehun knew the real reason for stepping out like this. Even so, while searching for Luhan, he began to see everything in a different light. The docks didn’t seem so depressing and lonely anymore. Looking at the water, he was reminded of his dream of faraway places, and found the docks to be a gateway to dreams instead of a place of crushing them.
“This is too funny,” said Sehun silently to himself as he sat on the docks one evening. While looking for Luhan all this time, he found other things instead. Was this supposed to happen?
“I’m not a comedian.”
Sehun swirled around so fast he became lightheaded.
“You…”
Yes, there he was. The boy he had been looking for all these days and nights, yet without effort, Luhan showed up.
“However, I don’t see what’s so funny about a dock,” Luhan said completing his other thought. It was like he didn’t even bother to notice Sehun’s shocked reaction.
“You…where…how-“
“I have my ways.”
Sehun narrowed his eyes in the dark. Despite the lack of light from the surrounding settings, he could have sworn the light he was seeing now was emitting straight from the ethereal being in front of him.
“What are you?”
He suddenly felt bad. He should have caught his words faster.
Luhan smiled softly. “What do you think I am?”
“I…”
Sehun quickly got up from his sitting spot when Luhan started to move towards him. No, he wasn’t afraid of him. Not at all. It had just been so long. And…a sudden realization came to him…
Luhan was now standing mere inches from Sehun, smile practically radiating. Sehun lost all his words in that moment. Just what was he supposed to say to him?
“Your heart.”
Luhan spoke as if he knew exactly what was on Sehun’s mind. To emphasize his point, he placed his hand on the left side of Sehun’s chest. Sehun didn’t know why, but he reached up and held Luhan’s hand there.
“Sehun…there is so much good here. It would be a shame if you were completely swept up in darkness.”
Sehun didn’t speak, but Luhan assumed he understood him.
“Life is tricky. It distributes the good and the bad without aim. Unfortunately, it can deal bad things in one direction for too long.”
Luhan looked up into Sehun’s face, a strong light hidden behind his eyes. “You have been dealt these bad cards, Sehun, but you don’t have to play them.”
Sehun felt the wetness streaming down the side of his face. He knew what it meant, but he didn’t want to admit it. Never had he wished for the rain to come and hide his vulnerability as much as right now.
Luhan felt pain in his chest. He knew Sehun couldn’t see it, but he could see it clearly. The connection is getting too strong. I need to end this quickly.
“Sehun, listen to me.”
Sehun didn’t want to hear it. He quickly wrapped his arms around Luhan’s figure and buried his face into the boy’s shoulders. Luhan was slightly taken aback by the other boy’s actions, but he showed no resistance.
“Don’t go. Please. It’s not fair.”
“…many things are not fair, Sehun. I’m not who you think I am.”
“Of course I know! I know exactly what you are.”
Luhan’s eyes widened when he heard the words.
“You have been the only one to actually care about me. You have made me see and realize things I never saw and knew about before. Great things. Wonderful things. You’ve been like a light to me.”
The connection was getting stronger. Luhan fought with all his might to remain on his feet.
“For you to leave me, Luhan, I would lose that light,” sobbed Sehun. “Please…I don’t want to go back to being alone!”
Luhan felt the tears soak into his neck. The energy draining from him.
“You never have to be alone, Sehun,” cooed Luhan.
The boy reached up and grabbed Sehun’s shoulders gently. “This world is too big for someone to be lonely.”
Luhan’s heart near broke when he gently pushed Sehun back to look at his face. The boy’s face was streaked in tears. He was absolutely breaking.
“I’ll make a promise.”
Sehun slowly lifted his head to properly look Luhan back in the eye.
“I’ll make a promise…but I can’t tell you what it is.”
Sehun didn’t understand. What was Luhan talking about?
“Just know…when you feel like crying, don’t cry. I hate seeing you cry. I always have…”
Sehun gave a little hiccup, causing Luhan to laugh a little. Sehun couldn’t help but to laugh a little too despite the tears still falling.
“Luhan…will I ever see you again?”
When Luhan didn’t respond, Sehun knew the answer.
“Sehun… I can’t stay much longer…”
Sehun didn’t understand the severity of the words, but Luhan’s weakened voice told him to let go when he wanted to hold on for as long as possible. To savor the moment as long as he can.
Suddenly, Sehun’s world went black.
*********
Why did you do that?!
*You were going to die the way that boy kept draining your energy. I couldn’t let that happen.*
That was my business! You had no right.
*I am responsible for keeping my brethren alive, not to see them die.*
*But-*
*My apologies. I’ll take leave.*
<…..>
……….
……….
……….
He could have died.
……….
……Yes.
…!!!
Y-yes. Thank you, Kris!
*********
The light of day streamed into the open window of a small apartment, grazing Sehun’s face as if to beckon him to wake up. Sehun could feel the warmth but was not ready to surrender to the real world yet. He was still caught up in his dream of a figure of light. Something so foreign yet so familiar.
Sehun gasped when he felt a nudge at his side. He sat up instantly looking all around him. As far as he could see, he was the only one in the apartment. So what was that nudge just now-“
RING RING RING!
Sehun groaned at his alarm clock. Such an annoying sound. He picked up the clock and turned it off and silently succumbed to defeat. He got up out of bed and walked to the window, peering out into the outside world. The scenery was very different from the grungy setting outside his old apartment. This scenery had blooming flowers and bustling life of people walking to and fro.
Sehun couldn’t quite remember how he got to this place. Well. He lied. He knew but didn’t know. One day, he just didn’t want to stay in his small, broken apartment. He quit his job at the docks (though not without thanking the boatman for giving him an opportunity to get back on his feet). He had enough money to get a new place towards downtown, so that’s where he is now. He found two new jobs. The first one was waiting tables at a newly open restaurant not too far from the apartment. He had never worked as a waiter before. He used to think he was not cut out for the job. However, he learned to love the new environment, and he was pleased to know that there were people who appreciated his time. The second job was a miracle. While waiting tables one day, a plain-looking man with jeans and white t-shirt entered the restaurant. When Sehun saw none of the other workers had noticed the new person, he walked up to the man and greeted him. That small greeting led to Sehun being the man’s actual waiter for the evening. That led to Sehun and the man making small talk about random things, including Sehun’s aspirations for law school. Sehun had no idea that the man in plain-looking clothes with a plain expression would reach into his pocket and give him a card.
“Contact me soon, Sehun.”
Sehun also did not know he would get a great shock from the contents of the card after reading it.
Kim Joon Myun
Seoul Law Firm
###-###-####
Sehun smiled at the memory. He could still recall how the other workers saw him spazz in the middle of the restaurant. He didn’t care. The next day would begin his journey as an assistant in the law firm office. Soon enough, he registered for his first online college class where he didn’t feel the heavy burden of being completely broke.
Just like he couldn’t quite explain his sudden change in lifestyle and sudden change in attitude, he couldn’t explain why he looked into the faces of the crowd. Why he felt something was missing. Why he felt something was very much there. The feeling has been with him every since he left his old apartment. That night he remembered being in great pain. Like something was severed from his being and he would never get it back. The weeping wouldn’t stop at all. The darkness he was used to suddenly felt very intimidating and scary. He didn’t want to be there. As the tears fell on this pillow, something in the distance of his memory caught his attention. He didn’t know why, but he reached out for it with all his might. Something about it was comforting in the midst of his pain. The memory was vague and unclear and couldn’t make sense of the voices and faces. However, one thing stood out in much clarity.
When you feel like crying, don’t cry. I hate seeing you cry. I always have…
Ever since then, Sehun couldn’t shake the words. It was both bothersome yet calming. He desperately wanted to know what it meant, but he had a feeling he understood more than he actually knew. Someone…somewhere…didn’t want to see him cry. He didn’t know who it was, but he felt a great urge to fight those moments of tears.
Just to make whoever was watching happy.
It felt like…he was alone…but not alone at all. The feeling was with him everywhere he went, even when he woke up that morning. When Sehun couldn’t seem to spot what he was looking for (whatever/whoever that was) in the crowd outside, he sighed and walked away from the window.
*********
Luhan understood Kris’ words more than ever now.
He still thanked him.