Sestina!fic #4, "The Truth in Dreams"

[bironic]

Others:
- Sestina #1: House post-infarction
- Sestina #2: "A Typical Day in Diagnostics"
- Sestina #3: "Breaking the Cycle"

Title: The Truth in Dreams
Character: Gregory House, with House/Wilson undertones
Rating: PG
Word Count: 362
Prompts: truth (from daasgrrl), Vicodin, Wilson, dreams, leg, puzzles
Spoilers: Vague for "Meaning" and "Cane and Able"
A/

Comments

[bironic]

Yes, when I swapped in "dreams" everything became much easier to write -- as in, I was actually able to write it. That sudden click into place seemed like cheating, somehow. But I think you're right that this is a case of the difference between the original vision for the poem and the final product. Probably I was being too ambitious and nonspecific at first by picking words for all the grand themes in House's life.

If I had guessed, I think I would have known you'd like the river and Wilson-dream bits. :) Oh, those two and their unresolved issues. Seriously, I'm glad that worked for you; I was afraid those couple of lines about the sex-y dream either wouldn't come across properly or were too banal with "heat" and "need." I'm also glad you liked the bit about the dreaming and waking nightmare of Wilson withholding his meds. I tried to work in a line or two afterwards about the fact that it happened in dreams and in reality, but it got too complicated.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback. So far nobody has pounced on what I thought were flaws and inconsistencies, so maybe it does work after all and I'll summon the courage to cross-post.

[daasgrrl]

I tried to work in a line or two afterwards about the fact that it happened in dreams and in reality, but it got too complicated.

Hee - I actually think it's better this way even if you could have done it. I think if you know your canon (as House people do), that part is so obvious that it works better with just the implications.

Also to say I'm glad you 'fixed' the formatting. I read your reasoning, but I still found it terribly distracting, personally. I didn't mention it because topaz_eyes had already and I thought it was actually just an error. From you, I should have known better *g*.

And synesthesia, yes. *rueful smile* I tried to get the word into the poem

I was amused, just because I know how tempting it is to demonstrate one's vocabulary. I think you made the right decision :)

[bironic]

So there were at least two of you put off by the uneven stanzas. Definitely glad I changed it then.

And yes, restraint is usually the best way to go. So no overexplaining or pointlessly impressive words.