Sestina!fic #2: "A Typical Day in Diagnostics"

Nov 07, 2006 09:11

Sestina the second, also known as Fun with Alliteration. Slightly different tone from the last one.

Title: A Typical Day in Diagnostics
Characters: Main Cast of House; ~Chase POV
Rating: PG
Word Count: 330
Prompts: Chase, House, Foreman, Cameron, Cuddy, Wilson
A/N: This is the proper/standard format for the end words, if anyone's curious. Thanks ( Read more... )

poetry, my writing, sestina!fic

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Comments 31

leiascully November 7 2006, 18:52:37 UTC
Love. That is all the feedback I have at the moment. You are amazing.

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bironic November 7 2006, 21:52:05 UTC
*wipes metaphorical sweat off metaphorical brow* Oh yay. I was afraid this would fall flat after yesterday's.

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leiascully November 7 2006, 21:56:42 UTC
No, it is like a carousel, and they keep going around and around again. I love it.

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red_coffeecup November 7 2006, 19:16:16 UTC
That was....well it was....I don't know how to put it...AMAZING!

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bironic November 8 2006, 19:05:40 UTC
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed, and I appreciate the comment.

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nightdog_barks November 7 2006, 22:09:54 UTC
Wonderful work.

I especially love this line:

Chase watches Wilson
Watch House over the rim of his mug as Cameron
Lingers to ask about his leg.

Also love House's death rays and that he's playing video games in the morgue. Heh! Very nice and very well done ... I've tried to do these (sestinas) on a few occasions and know how thorny they can be.

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bironic November 8 2006, 19:10:40 UTC
Thank you, and thanks for pointing out the specifics of what stood out for you. And I'm happy you chose that icon -- it's one of my favorites of yours. :)

Ah, have you? Finish any to your satisfaction? I'd never tried sestinas before starting these in September and am finding them to be challenging, fun, and more than a little addictive (which is oddly appropriate for this series).

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nightdog_barks November 8 2006, 20:23:06 UTC
And I'm happy you chose that icon -- it's one of my favorites of yours. :)

Heh! That's my quiet, understated icon; I think it's from the ... um ... *is trying to think* ... the museum in New York -- the Moving Picture? Something like that? *God, can't remember worth crap these days*. Feel free to borrow it!

Finish any to your satisfaction?

Afraid not. Not even sure where they are now. Maybe I'll try my hand at one again. :-)

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bironic November 8 2006, 20:45:43 UTC
If you do, it'd be fun to see how it turns out.

Museum of the Moving Image?

Thanks for the offer, but I've got all the icons my little limit can handle. Besides, I like it as a surprise whenever it pops up at your journal (or in comments elsewhere).

*God, can't remember worth crap these days*

Tell me about it. My job is just killing my memory. Add a touch of sleep deprivation and things get ugly. (For instance, for three days running I've accidentally left my poems-in-progress on my work computer at the end of the day.) I'm too young for this, dammit!

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pwcorgigirl November 7 2006, 23:12:06 UTC
As a fan of clever alliteration, I just loved this: Something sparks those sensational synapses . . ."

It's interesting that Chase, who is so self-contained, opens and closes this piece and also spends more hands-on time with the patient (close enough to be thrown up on, at any rate.) And tattles on House, so he's still one tidy mass of contradictions.

And "Count Cuddy" made me giggle. Very nice!

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bironic November 8 2006, 19:34:41 UTC
Something about the playful tone of this poem brought out the alliteration unconsciously. Only after filling several stanzas did I realize what was happening; then when the poem was done I went back and rephrased in a few places to play up the sound.

Er, all by way of saying I'm glad you giggled at the alliteration and the vampire!Cuddy joke. Also pleased that you seized on some bits of characterization to chew on amidst the craziness of the "episode."

Thank you as always for your feedback.

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dropsofviolet November 7 2006, 23:52:01 UTC
Oh, awesome! Loved the alliteration with the s's (or onamatopoeia if that's what it is). Great poem! It's really difficult to write sestinas (certainly I've never attempted one) but this was *sweet*. ^_^

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bironic November 8 2006, 19:42:23 UTC
Yep, it's alliteration -- onomatopoeia's when a word sounds like the sound it represents, such as "pop." Writing these has indeed been challenging, but also fun and very rewarding. Thanks for the comment!

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