Is this too boring to post? :/
"Oh. Maybe I'm more depressed than I thought": A periodic discovery by bironic.
I don't think I noticed for a while because I've felt cheerful, but that thing where I've been overworked since mid-February seems to have snuck into other areas of life, to the point where the thought of doing anything substantial on a weeknight or even weekend ends in... not doing it, and endlessly refreshing five websites instead. Like running the dishwasher. Or emptying it when it's done. Or doing a load of laundry so there are clean socks. Or making the week's frittata. Or putting the Netflix disc back in its envelope. Or recycling the empty toilet paper roll. Or brushing my teeth properly. Or dealing with insurance bills. Or replying to emails. Some of which I caught up on yesterday when I skipped the last day of a weekend conference because I needed time to myself. Okay and also because it was snowing with high winds.
Realizing what was/is going on was step one; trying to go to the gym and do my PT exercises for still-bothersome hip will be step two, because I think this is one of those modes where the only way to pull out of being lethargic is, counterintuitively, to do some physical activity. Step three will be to try to learn how to overcome hypervigilance at night, because even with a white noise machine I wake up at non-emergency sounds (footsteps, doors closing, neighbor's sheepdog romping) and have a hard time falling back asleep, and not sleeping well complicates everything.
I'm taking two days off later this week. Going to see my 95ish-year-old grandparents. My dad relocated them last month from FL to NY for care management purposes and there hasn't been a chance to visit until now, with everything that needed to get done at the office. I am told there is a Family Night happening at their new nursing home; will probably be cute.
Planning on taking more days off here and there, not for travel but for relaxing and working on artistic projects. Want to finish Jinni/Dustfinger story instead of staring at it and adding three sentences per day. Want to work on book trailer. And want to make a good to-be-determined vid for
jetpack_monkey, who won me in the Vividcon Auction. \o/
Finding out I will be vidding for Nate was a bright spot this weekend. As was, in a more fleeting way, a random dream about Garak/O'Brien (??). TV-wise, the two episodes of S2 of Grantchester that've aired so far on PBS have been so, so lovely. Difficult subject matter and characters who are struggling, but the show is made with such compassion and high quality that I find it relaxing to sink into. The Sidney/Geordie subtext doesn't hurt, either.
After not having read a proper book in a while, started rereading The Dispossessed today, since we'll be discussing it at the next book club. The last time I tried, years ago, I trailed off ~20 pages short of the end and had lost interest much sooner. Have higher hopes for this attempt.
Originally posted at http://bironic.dreamwidth.org/331905.html, where there are
comments.
I don't think I noticed for a while because I've felt cheerful, but that thing where I've been overworked since mid-February seems to have snuck into other areas of life, to the point where the thought of doing anything substantial on a weeknight or even weekend ends in... not doing it, and endlessly refreshing five websites instead. Like running the dishwasher. Or emptying it when it's done. Or doing a load of laundry so there are clean socks. Or making the week's frittata. Or putting the Netflix disc back in its envelope. Or recycling the empty toilet paper roll. Or brushing my teeth properly. Or dealing with insurance bills. Or replying to emails. Some of which I caught up on yesterday when I skipped the last day of a weekend conference because I needed time to myself. Okay and also because it was snowing with high winds.
Realizing what was/is going on was step one; trying to go to the gym and do my PT exercises for still-bothersome hip will be step two, because I think this is one of those modes where the only way to pull out of being lethargic is, counterintuitively, to do some physical activity. Step three will be to try to learn how to overcome hypervigilance at night, because even with a white noise machine I wake up at non-emergency sounds (footsteps, doors closing, neighbor's sheepdog romping) and have a hard time falling back asleep, and not sleeping well complicates everything.
I'm taking two days off later this week. Going to see my 95ish-year-old grandparents. My dad relocated them last month from FL to NY for care management purposes and there hasn't been a chance to visit until now, with everything that needed to get done at the office. I am told there is a Family Night happening at their new nursing home; will probably be cute.
Planning on taking more days off here and there, not for travel but for relaxing and working on artistic projects. Want to finish Jinni/Dustfinger story instead of staring at it and adding three sentences per day. Want to work on book trailer. And want to make a good to-be-determined vid for
jetpack_monkey, who won me in the Vividcon Auction. \o/
Finding out I will be vidding for Nate was a bright spot this weekend. As was, in a more fleeting way, a random dream about Garak/O'Brien (??). TV-wise, the two episodes of S2 of Grantchester that've aired so far on PBS have been so, so lovely. Difficult subject matter and characters who are struggling, but the show is made with such compassion and high quality that I find it relaxing to sink into. The Sidney/Geordie subtext doesn't hurt, either.
After not having read a proper book in a while, started rereading The Dispossessed today, since we'll be discussing it at the next book club. The last time I tried, years ago, I trailed off ~20 pages short of the end and had lost interest much sooner. Have higher hopes for this attempt.
Originally posted at http://bironic.dreamwidth.org/331905.html, where there are
comments.