Sestina: John (gen, 500 words). Happy second day of National Poetry Month!
I still think this could use improvement, but here it is anyway.
Title: Sestina: John
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Characters: John/team/gen
Rating: PG
Word Count: 500
Summary: John finds a home.
Spoilers: "Rising."
Disclaimer: Neither the canon nor the fanon that inspired this are mine.
A/N: I'm glad to have this finished, finally. Big thanks to ( Read more... )
Title: Sestina: John
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Characters: John/team/gen
Rating: PG
Word Count: 500
Summary: John finds a home.
Spoilers: "Rising."
Disclaimer: Neither the canon nor the fanon that inspired this are mine.
A/N: I'm glad to have this finished, finally. Big thanks to ( Read more... )
I'm very glad you think the third stanza works now; I had your voice in the back of my head during revisions, saying the transition was too jarring and the emphasis too heavy on plot we already knew, and hoped the insertion/threading of the song would help.
roga was the one who suggested "wake" in the funereal sense, so all credit to her. :)
I particlarly love the phrase "oasis on the sea"...can't figure out why, it just feels right, somehow.
Neat. I put that in because I was trying to get "sea" and "city" in each stanza (and managed it, except for "city" in the next-to-last stanza; but that's okay, see, because they're not on Atlantis, and John misses the city... or something *g*), and the city as an island came to mind, and "oasis" felt right when John had just compared everyone on it to misfits seeking a haven. Looking at it now, I like that it also ties back to the desert in the previous stanza. It's really very different from anything John's had in his life before.
Thanks again for help and feedback!
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