This is for you, schnuffi

Sep 15, 2009 07:17

I thought it would make you laugh *hugs*

LJ stalking horror - a report by birggitt.

schnuffi is stalking birggittschnuffi's REAL name :Jung Hooperschnuffi's REAL DOB :07th September 1987Height :172 cmWeight : 100.6 kgschnuffi has dreamt about you : 6 times schnuffi became interested in you : 14th February 2006schnuffi's latest dream about you schnuffi dreamt that you had got married to another person. schnuffi produced a shotgun at the ceremony, blowing off your partners head before they could complete their vows with a close-range shot.This is how schnuffi describes your relationship behind your back 'At first I thought it was just friendship, but it's more than that. The way birggitt looks at me has to be seen to be believed. Either it loves me as much as I love her or it's terrified. And that isn't very likely, is it......?'schnuffi's been stealing stuff from your house too. A thick ball of your own ungroomed pubic yarn.They've even started modifying their body for you schnuffi has birggitt tattooed right across their chest.They sent the following message to you in a Valentines I think I've just creamed myself thinking about you. There's no tissue paper in the house to clear up the mess so I've used this card instead.

The Police No. calls to the police : 28 timesYour Last Call to The Police "I've had enough of this. Send the fucking SWAT team around. That bastard schnuffi has been watching me for far too long. Don't be stingey with the dum-dum bullets. Thanks."schnuffi's Police File schnuffi is a deeply troubled young woman.

Testimonies about schnuffi
fabularasa - Spaced out junkie

'schnuffi and I never saw eye-to-eye. And I'm glad now we didn't. What a fucking creep.'

m_ravensblood - Long-haul trucker

'I always thought schnuffi was a good kid. A bit shy but with a kind heart. How wrong was I?'

kaaatie - Dry your eyes

'schnuffi is pointlessness personified. I just wish they'd kill themselves or something.'

awesome flist

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