(no subject)
Whether I am right in posting this, I don't know, but what I do know is that I don't want any lies being spread as to why I was unfairly removed from the game without any warning whatsoever. And I do feel that if I have no say, that that will unfortunately happen.
subtlesimmer (9:02:29 PM): Aimee, you around?
blackdiamondACES (9:02:37 PM): yeah
subtlesimmer (9:03:31 PM): Listen, this isn't working out. I think you're a good writer, but right now your own personal opinion of the Snupin-ship stuff is far too much colouring your in-character behaviour.
blackdiamondACES (9:04:13 PM): What Tonks is doing isn't at all related to my feelings on Snape/Lupin, genuinely
subtlesimmer (9:04:49 PM): I totally respect that the ship makes you physically ill, because I feel the same way about Sirius/Lupin stuff, but its really getting out of hand.
blackdiamondACES (9:04:36 PM): She's very, very hurt on many levels right now, and she feels very attacked. It really has nothing to do with Snape/Lupin.
blackdiamondACES (9:05:38 PM): I avoid Snape/Lupin threads in the game, but other than that, it honestly does not color the way I play her at all. She's very hurt by what's been happening and that no one is taking her real opinion into account and is just looking at what she intended to be an unbiased view of the matter.
subtlesimmer (9:05:59 PM): No, I'm sorry, but I can't believe that. There is far more Aimee than Tonks in the entire last series of posts you've made.
blackdiamondACES (9:06:05 PM): No, there isn't, genuinely.
subtlesimmer (9:06:33 PM): But her 'unbiased' opinion on the matter isn't based on any sort of fact, and wildly vascilates from one extreme to the complete opposite other extreme.
subtlesimmer (9:06:48 PM): And is not remotely rational or unemotional.
blackdiamondACES (9:06:42 PM): I don't like the way I have to play her right now, but the circumstances and the way people are talking to her and treating her gives me no choice in the matter. I very much way her to be different and happy.
blackdiamondACES (9:07:04 PM): Well, SHE believes it's unbiased. Whether it is or not, she's been fed a lot of Ministry crap on the matter as well.
subtlesimmer (9:07:21 PM): She thinks Mandy's execution was well-investigated and handled in the best way possible in one post, then in the next she says Mandy ought to have had a trial.
subtlesimmer (9:07:58 PM): She's making shite up about the Wolfsbane potion and possible interactions that she can't possibly even know or understand.
blackdiamondACES (9:07:49 PM): No, she doesn't think it was well-investigated on a personal level.
subtlesimmer (9:08:11 PM): It's all, very heavily, Aimee-biased.
blackdiamondACES (9:08:02 PM): Where? What are the examples of this?
blackdiamondACES (9:08:23 PM): Show me what you're talking about and if it really means that much to you, I'll remove the post.
subtlesimmer (9:08:38 PM): Every time she says stuff about the "She could have eaten a Lolly" or "the potion was flawed"
blackdiamondACES (9:08:53 PM): To Tonks, whether or not that could have happened, that IS a posibility. I'm not saying she's right, not at all.
blackdiamondACES (9:09:58 PM): Just because she doesn't agree with everyone doesn't mean she's being completely irrational. It makes sense to her, whether it's right or not.
subtlesimmer (9:10:23 PM): No. I'm not willing to make a drama-issue out of this. The fact of the matter is, your strong dislike of the Snupin-ship has so completely coloured your character's interactions that it is impossible to separate Tonks from Aimee.
blackdiamondACES (9:11:01 PM): And I've been playing for years -- I've very, very capable of keeping my personal feelings about a ship separate from the way I play a character, and I am telling you, flat-out, that my playing of Tonks is not at all colored by any Snape/Lupin feelings *I* have. It's all by what has happened in-game and the things they've said to her and the way they've treated her.
blackdiamondACES (9:11:08 PM): She hasn't been much better to them, and I'm not claiming she has, not at all.
subtlesimmer (9:11:40 PM): I'm really sorry about this, because I think you are a good writer, but you knew it was a Snupin game when you came in, and yet from the get-go you've had Tonks wildly irrational about it. It made a little sense at the beginning when it was fresh and a new 'hurt', but now it doesn't remotely make sense anymore.
blackdiamondACES (9:11:28 PM): They aren't very nice to her at all.
blackdiamondACES (9:12:21 PM): Her motivation for lashing out about this and this new fresh wave of hurt was brought on by what happened between her and Bill, which reopened old wounds rather drastically.
blackdiamondACES (9:12:42 PM): Tonks was very, very nice to Snape and Lupin before the whole Mandy situation.
blackdiamondACES (9:12:47 PM): Snape was the one who was a bastard to her to begin wtih.
subtlesimmer (9:13:15 PM): There have been a number of occasions where attempts have been made at in-game, in-character reconcilliation and such, and she's been savage in her refusal to see reason.
blackdiamondACES (9:13:09 PM): And when she needed time to accept Snape/Lupin, Lupin wasn't very accepting of the fact that she couldn't accept them right away.
blackdiamondACES (9:13:19 PM): No attempts have been made at all! Where have attempts been made?
blackdiamondACES (9:13:21 PM): Link me.
subtlesimmer (9:13:36 PM): Of course he was, as it was in-character for him to be. And when he tried to be as concilliatory as Snape ever gets, she didn't give a shite.
subtlesimmer (9:13:53 PM): He *appologised* to her in the thread where he was begging for help for Mandy.
blackdiamondACES (9:13:49 PM): Yes, because he needed her help for Mandy.
blackdiamondACES (9:14:05 PM): Tonks didn't take it as a genuine apology at all, given the circumstances.
subtlesimmer (9:14:32 PM): Aimee, I am telling you, here and now, as an admin, this situation is not working any more.
blackdiamondACES (9:14:46 PM): And then the way they reacted and refused to alert the Ministry angered her a LOT, hence how she has been reacting in addition to the hurt renewed by her situation with Bill.
blackdiamondACES (9:16:02 PM): So you're telling me you're removing me from the game, in spite of me having in character motivations for Tonks' actions and me swearing up and down that my opinion on the Snape/Lupin ship has nothing to do with how I play Tonks and that her motivations stem solely from in-game interactions and occurences, because my character doesn't like yours?
blackdiamondACES (9:16:23 PM): That's honest to god what it's sounding like, and I'm shocked that someone who has admin experience like you do would ever do such a thing.
subtlesimmer (9:17:00 PM): Your out-of-character behaviour is hurting your ability to play your character, as well as hurting game cohesiveness. I am sorry you do not see it. I think you are too closely involved and too emotionally tied up with your character to be able to see your behaviour.
blackdiamondACES (9:17:49 PM): Lisa, again, I am telling you straight-up that my out of character feelings--not behaviour, FEELINGS on a ship--do not at all color the way I play Tonks. EVERYTHING she feels and reacts to is because of in-character and in-game interactions.
blackdiamondACES (9:18:03 PM): If you gave it time for this whole mess to blow over, that would become clear.
subtlesimmer (9:18:22 PM): I believe you believe that.
subtlesimmer (9:18:27 PM): But it is not true.
blackdiamondACES (9:18:15 PM): No, it is the truth, it is not something I believe.
subtlesimmer (9:18:48 PM): Tonks is so wildly waffling and irrational she makes George Bush look like a pillar of consistency.
subtlesimmer (9:19:01 PM): There is no 'Tonks' here. There is only "Aimee".
blackdiamondACES (9:19:00 PM): I am nothing like the way I play Tonks.
blackdiamondACES (9:19:18 PM): She is a character; I am a person.
blackdiamondACES (9:19:45 PM): I am very quiet in person, and I don't react to situations the way Tonks does.
blackdiamondACES (9:20:23 PM): I am not Tonks. If I wanted to play myself, I would pick up an original character.
blackdiamondACES (9:20:34 PM): And get rejected for creating a character based off of myself.
blackdiamondACES (9:20:54 PM): And she would be much more like June or other quiet characters than Tonks.
subtlesimmer (9:21:10 PM): I'm sorry.
subtlesimmer (9:21:28 PM): I would remove anyone whose character was so irrational/erratic/inexplicable.
subtlesimmer (9:21:54 PM): Especially when the behaviour was both wildly out-of-character.
subtlesimmer (9:22:12 PM): and plainly a reflection of personal beliefs.
blackdiamondACES (9:22:05 PM): But I have explained to you and am more than happy to go through everything you feel is irrational or inexplicable and show you Tonks' motivations, in-game, for what she has said.
blackdiamondACES (9:22:22 PM): No, it is a plain reflection of the way Snape and Lupin have treated her in-game.
blackdiamondACES (9:22:53 PM): I beleive you're too close to Snape and JL to Lupin to comprehend where Tonks is coming from in-game, given the way they have treated her.
blackdiamondACES (9:23:09 PM): And because you two are the admins, I get fucked out of a game that I've put a lot of time and effort into.
blackdiamondACES (9:23:28 PM): This is the first time you've come to me with any of these concerns.
subtlesimmer (9:23:55 PM): No, it is not.
blackdiamondACES (9:23:55 PM): And if you had felt these concerns before, as an admin, you had a responsibility to come to me and tell me so I had time to rectify the situation.
blackdiamondACES (9:23:59 PM): Or at least give me a chance.
blackdiamondACES (9:24:02 PM): Yes, it is, Lisa.
subtlesimmer (9:24:36 PM): I told you when she went ballistic on Snape during the Mandy situation that I thought she was out-of-line
blackdiamondACES (9:24:26 PM): It's bad admin practices, and it is why you have been losing so many characters and loyal players lately.
blackdiamondACES (9:24:28 PM): No, you did not.
subtlesimmer (9:24:45 PM): and you said, then that she had 'reasons' and that she would get 'better'.
subtlesimmer (9:24:52 PM): LOL
blackdiamondACES (9:24:43 PM): You were HAPPY that a character had a different in-game opinion.
blackdiamondACES (9:24:48 PM): I very distinctly remember that conversation.
blackdiamondACES (9:25:19 PM): Both you and JL were happy that a character had a difference of opinion, and you were thrilled by the conflict in those threads.
subtlesimmer (9:25:46 PM): Yes, but I also told you that she was factually incorrect, and again you said she was 'irrational' at the moment but would 'get better'.
blackdiamondACES (9:25:33 PM): If either of you were unhappy with the way I played Tonks, NEITHER of you mentioned it to me.
blackdiamondACES (9:25:38 PM): And you have had months to bring it up since.
blackdiamondACES (9:26:02 PM): No, you did not. I am FULLY aware of where Tonks is wrong in her thinking.
blackdiamondACES (9:26:11 PM): I'm not a stupid person who can't see that.
subtlesimmer (9:26:45 PM): It really doesn't matter at this point. I am no longer willing to discuss it. Whether you agree with our decision or not, your behaviour lately is extreme, irrational, and divisive both in-character and out of character.
blackdiamondACES (9:26:44 PM): And I have said time and time again that I am aware of her irrationality and have offered to supply motiviation.
blackdiamondACES (9:26:55 PM): I feel you don't like the way that my character is vocally disagreeing with your pet ship in a game that you admin, and therefore wish to remove every resistence from the game.
subtlesimmer (9:27:19 PM): LOL
subtlesimmer (9:27:22 PM): Not remotely.
blackdiamondACES (9:27:13 PM): And if that's the case, then I don't want to play in your game anyhow, if you're going to go on a power trip like this every time someone disagrees with your ship.
blackdiamondACES (9:27:37 PM): Oh? And why is there no other character in game, even those who should by all respects be against homosexual relationships, silent about it, even those who are aware of it?
blackdiamondACES (9:27:41 PM): Because everyone is AFRAID to bring it upo.
blackdiamondACES (9:27:56 PM): Because this happens when their character says a WORD against Snape or Lupin.
blackdiamondACES (9:28:06 PM): This is something that I've heard a LOT about in the past few months, and it made me uneasy.
blackdiamondACES (9:28:26 PM): But I thought that you and JL were unbiased enough to recognise that not every character, many with good reason, would be thrilled that Snape and Lupin were shacking up.
blackdiamondACES (9:28:43 PM): I haven't been so damn wrong in a very, very long time.
blackdiamondACES (9:29:05 PM): So I am very, very sorry for giving you and JL the benefit of the doubt.
subtlesimmer (9:30:31 PM): Sorry, but there are many characters who have disagreed with it - like Narcissa and Lucius and Draco, etc. - but on a rational, in-character basis.
blackdiamondACES (9:30:19 PM): And I will happily leave a game where any player who doesn't go along specifically with a very out of character ship that the mods have set up with very little to no real motivation behind it is removed or belittled and insulted for it.
blackdiamondACES (9:30:28 PM): Tonks LOVED Remus very, very much.
blackdiamondACES (9:30:29 PM): That is canon.
subtlesimmer (9:30:49 PM): And those are the only in-character, not-Lupin-loyal people who have known of the ship.
blackdiamondACES (9:30:39 PM): And she is INCREDIBLY hurt by everything that has happened in the past few months.
subtlesimmer (9:31:04 PM): Until Tonks' most recent journal entries.
blackdiamondACES (9:30:51 PM): You yourself said it was a very believable and rational reaction, and you compared it to the woman your husband dated before you.
blackdiamondACES (9:31:15 PM): But now that my character has outted yours, you want me removed.
blackdiamondACES (9:31:24 PM): It's fine, Lisa, really. You don't have to pretend it's anything other than what it is.
blackdiamondACES (9:31:54 PM): I really do just wish you'd be honest with me and admit that you aren't giving me a chance to explain my character's motivations for whatever your own reasons are.
blackdiamondACES (9:32:24 PM): She was not giving her personal reaction in that initial journal entry, as she tried to explain.
blackdiamondACES (9:32:48 PM): She was giving her best Ministry-influenced opinion of it so she didn't lose her job.
blackdiamondACES (9:33:25 PM): She HATES what the Ministry did to Mandy, and she feels very, very guilty for her role in it, especially since she didn't go over Lupin and Snape's heads in the first place, despite her gut instinct.
blackdiamondACES (9:34:02 PM): No one ever, in that post, let her explain her real opinion.
blackdiamondACES (9:34:09 PM): Snape and Lupin and even Bill attacked her for it.
blackdiamondACES (9:34:23 PM): Even though they should have KNOWN better than to believe she'd ever think that Mandy's situation was fair.
subtlesimmer (9:34:52 PM): Of course they did. Because in-character, out-of-character, and every-which-way from Sunday it was *wrong* factually, never mind her personal bias.
blackdiamondACES (9:35:09 PM): It was wrong factually because you, as an admin, want it to be to make your own characters right.
blackdiamondACES (9:35:12 PM): Snape and Lupin aren't infallible.
blackdiamondACES (9:35:15 PM): They aren't always right.
subtlesimmer (9:35:35 PM): And thoroughout that thread YOU contradict yourself every time you turn around.
subtlesimmer (9:35:36 PM): LOL!
blackdiamondACES (9:35:23 PM): And I am sick of you two playing them like they can do no wrong. It's disgusting.
subtlesimmer (9:35:44 PM): Of course they aren't!
blackdiamondACES (9:35:35 PM): It's awful the way you butcher their characters.
subtlesimmer (9:35:55 PM): But we *made* the plot and know the facts behind Mandy's murder!
blackdiamondACES (9:35:45 PM): You want to talk OOCness? Take a look at what you've done to two beloved characters.
blackdiamondACES (9:36:01 PM): Yes, and you didn't bother to share any of the facts with a player whose character would have ACCESS to them.
subtlesimmer (9:36:32 PM): And Tonks does not have access to the information because it is a WCU issue, not an Auror issue!
subtlesimmer (9:36:42 PM): And we *did* tell you the facts that Tonks would know.
blackdiamondACES (9:36:37 PM): No, you never once did.
subtlesimmer (9:36:57 PM): And this: [20:35] blackdiamondACES: You want to talk OOCness? Take a look at what you've done to two beloved characters. Proves my point.
blackdiamondACES (9:36:55 PM): Yep.
subtlesimmer (9:37:18 PM): You knew before you ever even *LOOKED* at this game, that it was a long-established Snupin game.
subtlesimmer (9:37:28 PM): We'd been in play for over a year before you even came and looked around
blackdiamondACES (9:37:19 PM): I did, and it was my mistake for joining before I read up on how that ever happened.
blackdiamondACES (9:37:21 PM): It was ridiculous.
subtlesimmer (9:37:43 PM): And you've let your hated and bias colour your behaviour ever since
subtlesimmer (9:37:45 PM): Precisely.
blackdiamondACES (9:37:41 PM): You two have been shipping together for so long that you automatically assume that any two characters you have work well together and are the OTP of the game.
subtlesimmer (9:38:10 PM): You are not happy here, and we are not happy with your character and behaviour.
blackdiamondACES (9:37:58 PM): And you've formed an entire GAME around that ship. Everything that happens caters to your character development, and everyone else has to struggle to find a place in it.
subtlesimmer (9:38:16 PM): We are a bad-fit.
subtlesimmer (9:38:19 PM): LOL
blackdiamondACES (9:38:18 PM): Yes, and you laughing in my face for it is incredibly rude.
subtlesimmer (9:38:42 PM): See you around, Aimee. I'm sure you will find a lovely game to be happy in.
blackdiamondACES (9:38:30 PM): I'm not being a bitch for the hell of it. I can take being removed from a game.
subtlesimmer (9:38:47 PM): it is clearly not this one.
blackdiamondACES (9:38:48 PM): What I can't take is you being so biased and blind to the problems your own game has and blaming them on me.
blackdiamondACES (9:38:59 PM): Goodbye, it was lovely being friends with you while we were still on good terms.
I honestly haven't been happy in this game for months, outside of the storyline with Bill. It is inexcusible for the admins, specifically Lisa and partially JL, to do what they have been doing to the game only to satisfy their own need for a ship that was not logically motivated to begin with in game. Entertainment is not an excuse to sacrifice character development. Their application process is extensive and stringent, and they ensure that no Mary Sues enter the game. But perhaps they should take a look at their own characters and situations. Being an admin in a game does not automatically give that person the right to do everything they want with their characters just because they have the power. Ruling with fear and power does not a happy game make.
Hey, Lisa, JL -- you guys know that Draco/Harry team that almost ruined a game a while back? Take a look at what the way you play Snape and Lupin are doing to the game now. Whether any other player is brave enough to say it to your faces, there are more than a few saying it behind your backs.
I am very sorry that it had to end like this. I enjoyed playing in this game greatly, especially with Alex. And since I wasn't given the chance to say goodbye in an OOC post, then this is how it happens.
So, goodbye to everyone, and please feel free to keep in touch via AIM (if you don't think me a vile and disgusting human being for the above conversation, that is)!
Best,
Aimee
subtlesimmer (9:02:29 PM): Aimee, you around?
blackdiamondACES (9:02:37 PM): yeah
subtlesimmer (9:03:31 PM): Listen, this isn't working out. I think you're a good writer, but right now your own personal opinion of the Snupin-ship stuff is far too much colouring your in-character behaviour.
blackdiamondACES (9:04:13 PM): What Tonks is doing isn't at all related to my feelings on Snape/Lupin, genuinely
subtlesimmer (9:04:49 PM): I totally respect that the ship makes you physically ill, because I feel the same way about Sirius/Lupin stuff, but its really getting out of hand.
blackdiamondACES (9:04:36 PM): She's very, very hurt on many levels right now, and she feels very attacked. It really has nothing to do with Snape/Lupin.
blackdiamondACES (9:05:38 PM): I avoid Snape/Lupin threads in the game, but other than that, it honestly does not color the way I play her at all. She's very hurt by what's been happening and that no one is taking her real opinion into account and is just looking at what she intended to be an unbiased view of the matter.
subtlesimmer (9:05:59 PM): No, I'm sorry, but I can't believe that. There is far more Aimee than Tonks in the entire last series of posts you've made.
blackdiamondACES (9:06:05 PM): No, there isn't, genuinely.
subtlesimmer (9:06:33 PM): But her 'unbiased' opinion on the matter isn't based on any sort of fact, and wildly vascilates from one extreme to the complete opposite other extreme.
subtlesimmer (9:06:48 PM): And is not remotely rational or unemotional.
blackdiamondACES (9:06:42 PM): I don't like the way I have to play her right now, but the circumstances and the way people are talking to her and treating her gives me no choice in the matter. I very much way her to be different and happy.
blackdiamondACES (9:07:04 PM): Well, SHE believes it's unbiased. Whether it is or not, she's been fed a lot of Ministry crap on the matter as well.
subtlesimmer (9:07:21 PM): She thinks Mandy's execution was well-investigated and handled in the best way possible in one post, then in the next she says Mandy ought to have had a trial.
subtlesimmer (9:07:58 PM): She's making shite up about the Wolfsbane potion and possible interactions that she can't possibly even know or understand.
blackdiamondACES (9:07:49 PM): No, she doesn't think it was well-investigated on a personal level.
subtlesimmer (9:08:11 PM): It's all, very heavily, Aimee-biased.
blackdiamondACES (9:08:02 PM): Where? What are the examples of this?
blackdiamondACES (9:08:23 PM): Show me what you're talking about and if it really means that much to you, I'll remove the post.
subtlesimmer (9:08:38 PM): Every time she says stuff about the "She could have eaten a Lolly" or "the potion was flawed"
blackdiamondACES (9:08:53 PM): To Tonks, whether or not that could have happened, that IS a posibility. I'm not saying she's right, not at all.
blackdiamondACES (9:09:58 PM): Just because she doesn't agree with everyone doesn't mean she's being completely irrational. It makes sense to her, whether it's right or not.
subtlesimmer (9:10:23 PM): No. I'm not willing to make a drama-issue out of this. The fact of the matter is, your strong dislike of the Snupin-ship has so completely coloured your character's interactions that it is impossible to separate Tonks from Aimee.
blackdiamondACES (9:11:01 PM): And I've been playing for years -- I've very, very capable of keeping my personal feelings about a ship separate from the way I play a character, and I am telling you, flat-out, that my playing of Tonks is not at all colored by any Snape/Lupin feelings *I* have. It's all by what has happened in-game and the things they've said to her and the way they've treated her.
blackdiamondACES (9:11:08 PM): She hasn't been much better to them, and I'm not claiming she has, not at all.
subtlesimmer (9:11:40 PM): I'm really sorry about this, because I think you are a good writer, but you knew it was a Snupin game when you came in, and yet from the get-go you've had Tonks wildly irrational about it. It made a little sense at the beginning when it was fresh and a new 'hurt', but now it doesn't remotely make sense anymore.
blackdiamondACES (9:11:28 PM): They aren't very nice to her at all.
blackdiamondACES (9:12:21 PM): Her motivation for lashing out about this and this new fresh wave of hurt was brought on by what happened between her and Bill, which reopened old wounds rather drastically.
blackdiamondACES (9:12:42 PM): Tonks was very, very nice to Snape and Lupin before the whole Mandy situation.
blackdiamondACES (9:12:47 PM): Snape was the one who was a bastard to her to begin wtih.
subtlesimmer (9:13:15 PM): There have been a number of occasions where attempts have been made at in-game, in-character reconcilliation and such, and she's been savage in her refusal to see reason.
blackdiamondACES (9:13:09 PM): And when she needed time to accept Snape/Lupin, Lupin wasn't very accepting of the fact that she couldn't accept them right away.
blackdiamondACES (9:13:19 PM): No attempts have been made at all! Where have attempts been made?
blackdiamondACES (9:13:21 PM): Link me.
subtlesimmer (9:13:36 PM): Of course he was, as it was in-character for him to be. And when he tried to be as concilliatory as Snape ever gets, she didn't give a shite.
subtlesimmer (9:13:53 PM): He *appologised* to her in the thread where he was begging for help for Mandy.
blackdiamondACES (9:13:49 PM): Yes, because he needed her help for Mandy.
blackdiamondACES (9:14:05 PM): Tonks didn't take it as a genuine apology at all, given the circumstances.
subtlesimmer (9:14:32 PM): Aimee, I am telling you, here and now, as an admin, this situation is not working any more.
blackdiamondACES (9:14:46 PM): And then the way they reacted and refused to alert the Ministry angered her a LOT, hence how she has been reacting in addition to the hurt renewed by her situation with Bill.
blackdiamondACES (9:16:02 PM): So you're telling me you're removing me from the game, in spite of me having in character motivations for Tonks' actions and me swearing up and down that my opinion on the Snape/Lupin ship has nothing to do with how I play Tonks and that her motivations stem solely from in-game interactions and occurences, because my character doesn't like yours?
blackdiamondACES (9:16:23 PM): That's honest to god what it's sounding like, and I'm shocked that someone who has admin experience like you do would ever do such a thing.
subtlesimmer (9:17:00 PM): Your out-of-character behaviour is hurting your ability to play your character, as well as hurting game cohesiveness. I am sorry you do not see it. I think you are too closely involved and too emotionally tied up with your character to be able to see your behaviour.
blackdiamondACES (9:17:49 PM): Lisa, again, I am telling you straight-up that my out of character feelings--not behaviour, FEELINGS on a ship--do not at all color the way I play Tonks. EVERYTHING she feels and reacts to is because of in-character and in-game interactions.
blackdiamondACES (9:18:03 PM): If you gave it time for this whole mess to blow over, that would become clear.
subtlesimmer (9:18:22 PM): I believe you believe that.
subtlesimmer (9:18:27 PM): But it is not true.
blackdiamondACES (9:18:15 PM): No, it is the truth, it is not something I believe.
subtlesimmer (9:18:48 PM): Tonks is so wildly waffling and irrational she makes George Bush look like a pillar of consistency.
subtlesimmer (9:19:01 PM): There is no 'Tonks' here. There is only "Aimee".
blackdiamondACES (9:19:00 PM): I am nothing like the way I play Tonks.
blackdiamondACES (9:19:18 PM): She is a character; I am a person.
blackdiamondACES (9:19:45 PM): I am very quiet in person, and I don't react to situations the way Tonks does.
blackdiamondACES (9:20:23 PM): I am not Tonks. If I wanted to play myself, I would pick up an original character.
blackdiamondACES (9:20:34 PM): And get rejected for creating a character based off of myself.
blackdiamondACES (9:20:54 PM): And she would be much more like June or other quiet characters than Tonks.
subtlesimmer (9:21:10 PM): I'm sorry.
subtlesimmer (9:21:28 PM): I would remove anyone whose character was so irrational/erratic/inexplicable.
subtlesimmer (9:21:54 PM): Especially when the behaviour was both wildly out-of-character.
subtlesimmer (9:22:12 PM): and plainly a reflection of personal beliefs.
blackdiamondACES (9:22:05 PM): But I have explained to you and am more than happy to go through everything you feel is irrational or inexplicable and show you Tonks' motivations, in-game, for what she has said.
blackdiamondACES (9:22:22 PM): No, it is a plain reflection of the way Snape and Lupin have treated her in-game.
blackdiamondACES (9:22:53 PM): I beleive you're too close to Snape and JL to Lupin to comprehend where Tonks is coming from in-game, given the way they have treated her.
blackdiamondACES (9:23:09 PM): And because you two are the admins, I get fucked out of a game that I've put a lot of time and effort into.
blackdiamondACES (9:23:28 PM): This is the first time you've come to me with any of these concerns.
subtlesimmer (9:23:55 PM): No, it is not.
blackdiamondACES (9:23:55 PM): And if you had felt these concerns before, as an admin, you had a responsibility to come to me and tell me so I had time to rectify the situation.
blackdiamondACES (9:23:59 PM): Or at least give me a chance.
blackdiamondACES (9:24:02 PM): Yes, it is, Lisa.
subtlesimmer (9:24:36 PM): I told you when she went ballistic on Snape during the Mandy situation that I thought she was out-of-line
blackdiamondACES (9:24:26 PM): It's bad admin practices, and it is why you have been losing so many characters and loyal players lately.
blackdiamondACES (9:24:28 PM): No, you did not.
subtlesimmer (9:24:45 PM): and you said, then that she had 'reasons' and that she would get 'better'.
subtlesimmer (9:24:52 PM): LOL
blackdiamondACES (9:24:43 PM): You were HAPPY that a character had a different in-game opinion.
blackdiamondACES (9:24:48 PM): I very distinctly remember that conversation.
blackdiamondACES (9:25:19 PM): Both you and JL were happy that a character had a difference of opinion, and you were thrilled by the conflict in those threads.
subtlesimmer (9:25:46 PM): Yes, but I also told you that she was factually incorrect, and again you said she was 'irrational' at the moment but would 'get better'.
blackdiamondACES (9:25:33 PM): If either of you were unhappy with the way I played Tonks, NEITHER of you mentioned it to me.
blackdiamondACES (9:25:38 PM): And you have had months to bring it up since.
blackdiamondACES (9:26:02 PM): No, you did not. I am FULLY aware of where Tonks is wrong in her thinking.
blackdiamondACES (9:26:11 PM): I'm not a stupid person who can't see that.
subtlesimmer (9:26:45 PM): It really doesn't matter at this point. I am no longer willing to discuss it. Whether you agree with our decision or not, your behaviour lately is extreme, irrational, and divisive both in-character and out of character.
blackdiamondACES (9:26:44 PM): And I have said time and time again that I am aware of her irrationality and have offered to supply motiviation.
blackdiamondACES (9:26:55 PM): I feel you don't like the way that my character is vocally disagreeing with your pet ship in a game that you admin, and therefore wish to remove every resistence from the game.
subtlesimmer (9:27:19 PM): LOL
subtlesimmer (9:27:22 PM): Not remotely.
blackdiamondACES (9:27:13 PM): And if that's the case, then I don't want to play in your game anyhow, if you're going to go on a power trip like this every time someone disagrees with your ship.
blackdiamondACES (9:27:37 PM): Oh? And why is there no other character in game, even those who should by all respects be against homosexual relationships, silent about it, even those who are aware of it?
blackdiamondACES (9:27:41 PM): Because everyone is AFRAID to bring it upo.
blackdiamondACES (9:27:56 PM): Because this happens when their character says a WORD against Snape or Lupin.
blackdiamondACES (9:28:06 PM): This is something that I've heard a LOT about in the past few months, and it made me uneasy.
blackdiamondACES (9:28:26 PM): But I thought that you and JL were unbiased enough to recognise that not every character, many with good reason, would be thrilled that Snape and Lupin were shacking up.
blackdiamondACES (9:28:43 PM): I haven't been so damn wrong in a very, very long time.
blackdiamondACES (9:29:05 PM): So I am very, very sorry for giving you and JL the benefit of the doubt.
subtlesimmer (9:30:31 PM): Sorry, but there are many characters who have disagreed with it - like Narcissa and Lucius and Draco, etc. - but on a rational, in-character basis.
blackdiamondACES (9:30:19 PM): And I will happily leave a game where any player who doesn't go along specifically with a very out of character ship that the mods have set up with very little to no real motivation behind it is removed or belittled and insulted for it.
blackdiamondACES (9:30:28 PM): Tonks LOVED Remus very, very much.
blackdiamondACES (9:30:29 PM): That is canon.
subtlesimmer (9:30:49 PM): And those are the only in-character, not-Lupin-loyal people who have known of the ship.
blackdiamondACES (9:30:39 PM): And she is INCREDIBLY hurt by everything that has happened in the past few months.
subtlesimmer (9:31:04 PM): Until Tonks' most recent journal entries.
blackdiamondACES (9:30:51 PM): You yourself said it was a very believable and rational reaction, and you compared it to the woman your husband dated before you.
blackdiamondACES (9:31:15 PM): But now that my character has outted yours, you want me removed.
blackdiamondACES (9:31:24 PM): It's fine, Lisa, really. You don't have to pretend it's anything other than what it is.
blackdiamondACES (9:31:54 PM): I really do just wish you'd be honest with me and admit that you aren't giving me a chance to explain my character's motivations for whatever your own reasons are.
blackdiamondACES (9:32:24 PM): She was not giving her personal reaction in that initial journal entry, as she tried to explain.
blackdiamondACES (9:32:48 PM): She was giving her best Ministry-influenced opinion of it so she didn't lose her job.
blackdiamondACES (9:33:25 PM): She HATES what the Ministry did to Mandy, and she feels very, very guilty for her role in it, especially since she didn't go over Lupin and Snape's heads in the first place, despite her gut instinct.
blackdiamondACES (9:34:02 PM): No one ever, in that post, let her explain her real opinion.
blackdiamondACES (9:34:09 PM): Snape and Lupin and even Bill attacked her for it.
blackdiamondACES (9:34:23 PM): Even though they should have KNOWN better than to believe she'd ever think that Mandy's situation was fair.
subtlesimmer (9:34:52 PM): Of course they did. Because in-character, out-of-character, and every-which-way from Sunday it was *wrong* factually, never mind her personal bias.
blackdiamondACES (9:35:09 PM): It was wrong factually because you, as an admin, want it to be to make your own characters right.
blackdiamondACES (9:35:12 PM): Snape and Lupin aren't infallible.
blackdiamondACES (9:35:15 PM): They aren't always right.
subtlesimmer (9:35:35 PM): And thoroughout that thread YOU contradict yourself every time you turn around.
subtlesimmer (9:35:36 PM): LOL!
blackdiamondACES (9:35:23 PM): And I am sick of you two playing them like they can do no wrong. It's disgusting.
subtlesimmer (9:35:44 PM): Of course they aren't!
blackdiamondACES (9:35:35 PM): It's awful the way you butcher their characters.
subtlesimmer (9:35:55 PM): But we *made* the plot and know the facts behind Mandy's murder!
blackdiamondACES (9:35:45 PM): You want to talk OOCness? Take a look at what you've done to two beloved characters.
blackdiamondACES (9:36:01 PM): Yes, and you didn't bother to share any of the facts with a player whose character would have ACCESS to them.
subtlesimmer (9:36:32 PM): And Tonks does not have access to the information because it is a WCU issue, not an Auror issue!
subtlesimmer (9:36:42 PM): And we *did* tell you the facts that Tonks would know.
blackdiamondACES (9:36:37 PM): No, you never once did.
subtlesimmer (9:36:57 PM): And this: [20:35] blackdiamondACES: You want to talk OOCness? Take a look at what you've done to two beloved characters. Proves my point.
blackdiamondACES (9:36:55 PM): Yep.
subtlesimmer (9:37:18 PM): You knew before you ever even *LOOKED* at this game, that it was a long-established Snupin game.
subtlesimmer (9:37:28 PM): We'd been in play for over a year before you even came and looked around
blackdiamondACES (9:37:19 PM): I did, and it was my mistake for joining before I read up on how that ever happened.
blackdiamondACES (9:37:21 PM): It was ridiculous.
subtlesimmer (9:37:43 PM): And you've let your hated and bias colour your behaviour ever since
subtlesimmer (9:37:45 PM): Precisely.
blackdiamondACES (9:37:41 PM): You two have been shipping together for so long that you automatically assume that any two characters you have work well together and are the OTP of the game.
subtlesimmer (9:38:10 PM): You are not happy here, and we are not happy with your character and behaviour.
blackdiamondACES (9:37:58 PM): And you've formed an entire GAME around that ship. Everything that happens caters to your character development, and everyone else has to struggle to find a place in it.
subtlesimmer (9:38:16 PM): We are a bad-fit.
subtlesimmer (9:38:19 PM): LOL
blackdiamondACES (9:38:18 PM): Yes, and you laughing in my face for it is incredibly rude.
subtlesimmer (9:38:42 PM): See you around, Aimee. I'm sure you will find a lovely game to be happy in.
blackdiamondACES (9:38:30 PM): I'm not being a bitch for the hell of it. I can take being removed from a game.
subtlesimmer (9:38:47 PM): it is clearly not this one.
blackdiamondACES (9:38:48 PM): What I can't take is you being so biased and blind to the problems your own game has and blaming them on me.
blackdiamondACES (9:38:59 PM): Goodbye, it was lovely being friends with you while we were still on good terms.
I honestly haven't been happy in this game for months, outside of the storyline with Bill. It is inexcusible for the admins, specifically Lisa and partially JL, to do what they have been doing to the game only to satisfy their own need for a ship that was not logically motivated to begin with in game. Entertainment is not an excuse to sacrifice character development. Their application process is extensive and stringent, and they ensure that no Mary Sues enter the game. But perhaps they should take a look at their own characters and situations. Being an admin in a game does not automatically give that person the right to do everything they want with their characters just because they have the power. Ruling with fear and power does not a happy game make.
Hey, Lisa, JL -- you guys know that Draco/Harry team that almost ruined a game a while back? Take a look at what the way you play Snape and Lupin are doing to the game now. Whether any other player is brave enough to say it to your faces, there are more than a few saying it behind your backs.
I am very sorry that it had to end like this. I enjoyed playing in this game greatly, especially with Alex. And since I wasn't given the chance to say goodbye in an OOC post, then this is how it happens.
So, goodbye to everyone, and please feel free to keep in touch via AIM (if you don't think me a vile and disgusting human being for the above conversation, that is)!
Best,
Aimee