Proper Fucked
So it's the second week of the new semester, and to today is the day of the first big assignment...at least in public speaking. Before today I had to read a chapter in a text book about how people get nervous and screw everything. I quite reading after less than a third of it...it was pointless, I don't get nervous when publicly speaking. I am confident, in fact cocky. So for the past week I have been working on this speech. This is going to be the semester I go back to being good. I fine tuned the speech Sunday night, rehearsed it over and over again, before, after and during morning workout today. Then I walk to class calmly after watching an hour of Billy Elliot, only being about 10 minutes late. Dressed in pajama pants, an old snowball shirt, and a jean jacket, thank god there is no one to impress in college.
I walk in to class ready to giving this speech to damn well any one, even the fucking president (if he could handle that many multi-syllabled words). I walk in, and she is sitting their, three seats back, and to the right. Dressed in her Sunday best, with just enough makeup on to confuse anyone to ponder, is she really this naturally beautiful? Calmly she looks up, smiles and waves.
The teacher didn't notice me come in late, but anyone who was watching could have physically witnessed everything inside me crumble. I sit down and realize, I can't give this speech. I just couldn't. I couldn't even play it by ear. I went last for the day, hoping to be ready by then. Unfortunately, since the moment she smiled my breath had quickened, my neck had stiffened...and I had stage fright. I had never been more nervous in my life.
Now I see why people are so afraid of public speaking. For me it is not if a million people watch, I get scared. It is a certain one or today. Today, everything got all screwed up because of one sexy Latino in a leather jacket, with good taste in movies.
I walk in to class ready to giving this speech to damn well any one, even the fucking president (if he could handle that many multi-syllabled words). I walk in, and she is sitting their, three seats back, and to the right. Dressed in her Sunday best, with just enough makeup on to confuse anyone to ponder, is she really this naturally beautiful? Calmly she looks up, smiles and waves.
The teacher didn't notice me come in late, but anyone who was watching could have physically witnessed everything inside me crumble. I sit down and realize, I can't give this speech. I just couldn't. I couldn't even play it by ear. I went last for the day, hoping to be ready by then. Unfortunately, since the moment she smiled my breath had quickened, my neck had stiffened...and I had stage fright. I had never been more nervous in my life.
Now I see why people are so afraid of public speaking. For me it is not if a million people watch, I get scared. It is a certain one or today. Today, everything got all screwed up because of one sexy Latino in a leather jacket, with good taste in movies.